Panic Attack

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Panic Attack
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    Community Voices

    What books, TV shows, or movies portray anxiety well?

    <p>What books, TV shows, or movies portray <a href="" class="tm-embed-link  tm-autolink health-map" data-id="5b23ce5f00553f33fe98d1b4" data-name="anxiety" title="anxiety" target="_blank">anxiety</a> well?</p>
    3 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Klonopin Fatigue

    I started taking Klonopin everyday. At first I was experiencing constant fatigue. It was suggested by several people in this group that my doctor was giving me to much. I decided to ride it out until my next appointment. After about 3 weeks the fatigue went away and I feel better than ever! Sometimes you have to stay the course and be patient. #Anxiety #PTSD #AnxietyAttack #PanicAttack

    4 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    I Found My Black Hole Again Tonight

    I have this thing in my mind I call my 'black hole'. Due to the severity of my traumas I developed this construct in my mind. When I get close to the despair and feelings of annihilation created by my abusers I end up on the event horizon of a mental black hole. It is terrifying. It is a void. Without love, life and hope. When it is there I feel like I'm about to fall into it. In essence, a severe panic attack with a creative visualization to up the severity.. One of the many gifts of the abuse that keeps on giving.

    Tonight I recovered a memory that showed me where the black hole was born. Have you ever been so terrified that you get this smell in your nose? Tonight I realized that that I had that but for sustained periods. Normally, when you get terrified it only lasts seconds. I remembered tonight that I've had this heightened terror response at times that lasted much longer than a few seconds. It's hard to tell how long. Your sense of time becomes distorted in traumatic events. It just feels incredibly, mind-breakingly long. And it happened many times as a small child. And afterwards I would collapse into a seizure state. When I had the seizure state in a flashback, all I could think was, they were OK with that. After doing what they did that caused such prolonged terror states and I would collapse afterwards into a seizure state, they were OK with that. They were OK with that. It's rare when a small sentence like that has such weight. I can't stop thinking this thought.

    As a way of coping, my mind made the black hole. Not a very good coping but I was very young. I can't remember exactly when but it was before 3 or 4 yo.

    Needless to say, it's been a really rough night. More accurately, it's been a really rough life.

    One more step deeper into the nightmare that is my past, present and future.

    I just wish I had someone I could share this with. Posting this, or writing it down is one thing, but it doesn't compare to sharing it with someone you can trust.

    Hopefully this recovered knowledge leads to more healing, taking the pain out of me and letting me be more me and in the moment. It normally does, but with each and every new horrific discovery of my past I always can't tell. I can't trust that it will get better. Until it does. In therapy.

    For now. I have sit in this knowledge. Another realization. Of the abject betrayal and the damage it has caused me.

    And what's even more sad is there is another aspect of these realizations i can't even share.

    #CPTSD #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

    2 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Way too low

    A friend of mine approached me this morning to commission me/make something for them and they told me that they have the fabric and would pay me $150.

    For the item she wants me to make for her, I usually charge about $300. It’s a would be custome, made specifically for her and am unsure how to approach her and tell her that $150 is way under and that my time means more to me than that. I understand that this may mean she won’t commission me and I’m 100% okay with that outcome. I recently did some research and found that $150 is way to low for this project from anyone as well unless she knows someone else personally.

    This is causing me great stress and I had a panic attack about how to talk to her about this early.

    Any help/advice would be appreciated. If you need more information let me know and I can provide that too.

    #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #AnxietyAttack #Depression

    13 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    I don’t know how I’m going to get through this weekend

    I am struggling so much and I don’t know how to ask for time alone to engage in self soothing activities. I am constantly triggered by people, the environment, or my internal thoughts. I cannot stop organizing my environment to engage with others or even to take care of myself.
    I have been homeless for over a year and now I live in a bedroom with my boyfriend in his friend’s house (so he is now also homeless and trying to survive). I am struggling so hard with empathizing with him because I have been in this for over a year and I am not doing well at all. I cannot eat more than a little bit of noodles and a couple of cereal bars a day, I only sleep a few hours each night, my thinking and communication is impaired, and I’m constantly alert.
    He needs to talk but I cannot hear it because it immediately spirals me into an unsafe pattern of thinking. And this isn’t fair to him.
    I love him so much and he is doing absolutely everything he can. I just don’t know how to tell him what I need without hurting his feelings. And I’m worried he will become upset and leave me because I’m not able to give him the support he needs.
    I literally have him and my therapist and that’s it.
    I don’t know if anyone will see this or if it makes sense but maybe someone will be able to relate. I just feel so hopeless and I don’t see a future where I am remotely okay.
    I know this is controversial to say but there is literally no solution at the moment. I have called all of the usual agencies and all they say is “I’m so sorry, but there is nothing we have to help you.” That’s it. (I am continuing to try obviously.) So basically I am just trying to get through the weekend with some hope or a reminder that there are other people who see me.
    #CPTSD #Agoraphobia #PanicAttack #ChronicMigraines

    1 person is talking about this
    Community Voices

    How do you prepare and plan out your day when you wake up with anxiety?

    <p>How do you prepare and plan out your day when you wake up with anxiety?</p>
    9 people are talking about this
    Community Voices
    Community Voices

    I’m new here!

    Hi, my name is Dean. I'm here because for the past 2 years I’ve been living with anxiety and panic disorder and in the past 5/6 months things have just been getting worse. I quit my job to travel the world back in June and being in South East Asia it’s been very hard to talk to a professional who actually understands what I’m saying. Due to this I’ve been repeatedly prescribed Xanax which helped at first, but two months in and the effects just aren’t the same and I also discovered that it’s an addictive medication so I’m now starting to try and taper myself off it. I’m really just looking for some help/ someone to talk to or some tips and advice. Thanks for reading, I appreciate your time.

    #MightyTogether #Anxiety #PanicDisorder #PanicAttack #SocialAnxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder

    7 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Still exhausted from my mental health episode

    I get response to my posts so I like to post. Hello everyone I hope people who might see this are having a good day.

    The last few days I have been dealing with the mental and physical repercussions of a thing that I, and many people who responded to my posts, think was a PTSD flashback. It was extremely stressful and I am amazed by how deeply it has affected my mind and body still.

    It was very weird and almost like a sort of spiritual experience. As I start feeling a bit better I am sporadically filled with shame for being weak and vulnerable. My head hurts and my thoughts still are not clear nor sharp. When I think to what happened I know that it was not a panic attack or some kind of average anxiety response. Unfortunately I know for a fact that something bad happened to me the other day.

    As I can sit and think about it without nearly as much anxiety now, I see it for what it was. I reacted to what most would consider nothing and I am not sure why it triggered this response in me. It hurt so bad and I know that my body exploded into some kind of primal response as my head still throbs from it almost 3 days later. I wish my body werent still feeling so frail as I would love nothing more than to forget it ever happened.

    I can't just pretend it didnt happen, though. It felt like I was dying and I wanted to sprint out of my skin. Not only that but I felt like I was in a previous time and place from the present. This is how I know it was not only a panic attack besides the severity. It felt like my fear and emotions transcended time itself, reaching deep into my past. I realized that this event I experienced was like a carbon copy of emotions I had felt previously, and this is not my experience with mere panic attacks.

    I feel guilt for myself for not somehow being stronger and shame about imploding over something that was not even true. I'm not sure why I reacted the way I did and I think the person who accidentally caused it had good intentions, actually. They honestly did nothing wrong but my mind latched onto some stimulus that the other person had no true part in. I was simply surprised is all, totally surprised. It may be that my trauma is connected to a series of shocking surprises that have happened over the course of my life. Things that irreparably damaged my life but without damaging my body, which most people with deep trauma seem to have experienced.

    At this point I'm not totally sure how everything hung together to cause it but I am absolutely certain that it hurt my body and mind. I am laying in my bed, eyes tired and skull throbbing like I have exerted myself all day, but I have not even left my home yet. Today was the first day that I really got time to study my coursework hard since my flashback. I am grateful to catch up on things but surprised by my exhaustion. Usually I am inexhaustible in this way but not right now, that's for sure.

    As I slowly recover I feel different about my mental health than I have before. It's like I can't ignore it as I have done over and over in my life. Today I contacted the counseling center through my university to schedule an appointment and I am proud of myself for doing so. I feel like I was able to see myself from the outside in a strange way, but also from the inside too. I realized how alone I really am and that during, then shortly after, my flashback I was extremely vulnerable. While I have had to fend for myself in stressful situations in the past, this time was different.

    I am not really sure why it felt so different. It could be because I am almost 10 hours from my past support network now. Or maybe it's because I am not wrapped in the warm caccoon of denial and dissociation which oddly protected me all my life before. I realized that no one was there to hold me or to tell me it would be better. I didnt pick up the phone to call family because it wouldnt have helped as my mind has begun to pull away from them. In the end I realized that if I had gone truly mad or tried to hurt myself it would have been me and sheer luck that could have saved my life.

    I had never felt so alone before and I had to call a crisis line. It seemed like the nice man on the line could feel my despair and how alone I felt. I told him how I was sad that I was not turning over a new leaf here in another state. How my mental health was not improving and how I was beginning to isolate like in my previous city. I was and still am disappointed that things didn't just get better here, even if things never get better for no reason. It seemed almost like things were improving but I was simply shifting around in my emotional armor. The reality was that my mind was poised to take a dive and that I was lucky it dove in my own home.

    I have to make a better effort to connect with people as failing to do so could be my undoing. At this point I am a professional at seeming strong while being oddly weak, and I suppose that I'm tired of it. Each moment I dont build a new social network is another moment that could lead to another unassisted flashback. What might happen next time? Can I really survive doing this over and over by myself? After all, I didn't even know the last one was coming and then it was here, spilling over me like a sudden rain. Maybe I can do it alone again, but maybe I can't.

    Hopefully I can get through this and find some better situation for my mind. I don't like being so vulnerable. It's weird for me to accept and say this as I'm not that much different than I was in my home state. I guess that I was not in a place mentally to imagine being somewhere better. It was just how I was and how I imagined I would always be. Now I can really feel the gap between where I am now and where I want to be. I want to heal and not go through what I just did, even if it means having people be there for me and nothing else different. I'm so tired of having this chronic distance between myself and others, but it is simply how I have always been.

    Have a good night.

    #PTSD #Trauma #MentalHealth

    7 people are talking about this
    Community Voices