Panic Attacks

She was in the mood for blueberry pancakes tonight so that's what we had at 1am. I feel bloated and grumpy. I don't know if I should have eaten them but they were delicious.

I've been having restless arms for the last few hours. I took a pregabalin and then konked out for an hour. But when I woke up my arms still hurt.

I've been fighting with my hair all day. It's just way too long and keeps getting in my eyes. I am using a hair clip but my hair doesn't adhere to the laws of physics.

I had a panic attack today. I took my night meds last night so that's not what caused it. I tried using fingernail clippers but my hands were so shaky. I accidentally cut one nail too far. It didn't bleed though.

I'm in a very sour mood. I am tired of being talked down to and the passive aggressive BS.

When I was going through my hell, I always wished I had someone I could open up to in hopes that they could help me. I would of gave my right arm for that. I want to offer my real life experience ( no college degree or textbooks) of what it took to overcome my isolation, severe anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and agoraphobia. But only YOU can take that first step,. Take a chance and reach out, I'm here for YOU, no judgement, just a desire to possibly help someone with something close to my heart, that's all.

I dont even know how to describe today, so ill just start with the things that happened.
I was woken up by my former partner. (I can't seem to be able to call him ex, ex boyfriend, ex fiancé) Anyways I broke things off and I haven't been able to leave. It's been about a month now and we've been sleeping in separate rooms. He is definitely broken with this situation. He tells me I can sleep with him, but I know i shouldn't and also, he was the one that initially said we shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed and got a small mattress. He woke me up and told me he doesn't want me to leave and he is open to therapy and he would do anything for me.
I didn't answer.
I feel ashamed for what I've done to him. I have previously broken things off because I get this "gut feeling" that tells me I don't want him. The breakups had been brief but still impactful to be because he quickly tells his family about it. And I feel shame for it.
It's been an 8 year relationship, "high-school sweethearts." We moved out of staye together after college and again we recently moved to another state. We have gone on vacations together and with his family, we have two dogs together.
We talked about getting a house, having kids, getting old. But this stupid gut feeling never went away.
We only tired therapy for about 3 months and we had to stop because we moved. I told him I wanted to do therapy again, I told him about it because I got the gut feeling along with a panic attack. And he didn't listen to me. He has never been a believer in therapy.

One thing I feel good about today was finally applying for Medicaid. I started reaching out to counselors and therapist too. I'm scared of how dark my self talk has been, especially with all of this shame and guilt that I'm carrying.

Thank you if you read this far.
#Relationships #Depression #PanicAttacks

Hi, my name is Steve12334. I'm here because I had a panic attack about death and I want to find ways to accept or minimize the next attack especially when there is a big change in my life

#MightyTogether #Anxiety

My partner has been validating my feelings a lot more
I’ve been at my limits lately and felt that I could exspress who I felt
Not good but good that my work panic attack the other day showed how much I’ve been holding in
So my partner was able to see me a little more and hold space for me
Not everything is solved but baby step

My friend was having a really bad panic attack today and I didn’t know how to help her. I have panic attacks sometimes but I always hide them away so that no one knows I’m experiencing them. I have my own ways of dealing with panic attacks but my anxiety makes me second guess everything and I never know how to talk to people, especially if it’s about something deep and personal. My instinct is to reassure her and give her a hug but she was in the middle of doing something and I didn’t want to get in her way. Plus it wasn’t that long ago I met her so I don’t know if she’s comfortable with physical contact, especially if she’s panicking. I know that she also struggles with self-harm and I do too but we’ve never had a deep conversation about what we’re dealing with before. I don’t want to feel invasive and dig into something she might not feel comfortable discussing. I’ve never told anyone about my self-harm before but I feel like she’s the one person who I don’t have to worry about judging me. I’m really concerned about her and want to help but I don’t know how. I could really use some advice on how to help her without making her feel too uncomfortable.

#PanicAttacks #Anxiety #Selfharm