☕ The Perfect Cup of Tea and the Perfect Mask
In South Asian culture, nothing is more sacred than a warm cup of chai, a home that smells like cardamom, and a girl who never “talks back.”
Growing up, I knew how to set the table, greet guests, and press a smile on my face—no matter what was happening inside me.
But behind the perfectly made roti, there was a storm I wasn’t allowed to name.
I wasn’t allowed to be “mentally tired.” I wasn’t allowed to say “I feel sad.”
Because sadness meant ungratefulness.
Because anxiety meant weakness.
Because therapy meant madness.
Sound familiar?
Let’s talk about it.
💔 The Myth: “It’s All in Your Head”
“It’s nothing. Just pray. You’re overthinking.”
Oh, how many times I heard that.
Every tear, every sleepless night, every panic attack—I was told it was just in my head.
So I stayed silent.
And that silence roared.
It took me years to understand: yes, it was in my head. That’s exactly why it mattered. Mental health is health. Full stop.
💥The Myth: “Good Girls Don’t Have Problems”
I was taught to be a “shundor meye” (good girl).
Good girls smile.
Good girls don’t complain.
Good girls keep family honor.
But I wasn’t a robot. I was a girl who loved writing poems and dancing in the rain—but also had days when I couldn’t get out of bed.
I remember once telling an aunt I felt “down,” and she whispered,
“Don’t ever say that again. People will think you’re crazy.”
In that moment, I realized we weren’t fighting depression.
We were fighting shame.
💦The Myth: “Faith is Enough”
Now don’t get me wrong—I love my faith.
I love how duas soothe the soul and how salah grounds me.
But faith and therapy are not enemies.
I used to feel guilty for seeking therapy—as if I didn’t trust Allah enough.
But then I realized: Allah created therapists too.
He gave us ilm (knowledge).
He gave us means to heal.
Even the Prophet (pbuh) grieved. Even he sought counsel.
Faith doesn’t mean we don’t break.
Faith means we believe we can be rebuilt.
😷The Myth: “What Will People Say?”
Ah, the eternal South Asian anthem:
“Lokki ki bolbe?” (What will people say?)
I almost didn’t get help because I feared the whispers.
“She’s seeing a counselor? Must be something wrong at home.”
“They say she’s depressed. Maybe she’s possessed.”
Yes, that’s a real thing I heard.
But then one day, I asked myself:
What if I stopped living for them…
And started living for me?
❤️🔥The Breaking Point (and Breakthrough)
It wasn’t a dramatic moment. No violins in the background.
It was one Tuesday afternoon.
I was in my room, trying to breathe. My heart felt like it was racing a war I never signed up for.
I looked in the mirror and whispered,
“I need help.”
And I got it.
One session turned into many. And each one peeled off a layer of pain I didn’t know I was carrying.
I started sleeping. Laughing. Living.
I stopped just “surviving.”
✨ 🤲 Rebirth: Choosing Joy, Choosing Me
Now? I’m still healing.
Some days I cry. Some days I dance.
But every day, I honor myself.
I talk about mental health. Loudly. Lovingly. Boldly.
I teach my kids that it’s okay to feel.
I pray. I journal. I rest. I rise.
And when someone whispers “She’s changed…”
I smile and say,
“Alhamdulillah, I have.”
💌Final Thoughts: From My Heart to Yours
To every South Asian daughter who’s ever been told to “smile through it”…
To every mother, sister, friend hiding her pain in silence…
You are not alone.
Your feelings are valid.
Your story matters.
Getting help is brave, not shameful.
And if anyone asks what people will say—tell them this:
“People didn’t write my story
I myself did...."
MentalHealthMatters
#southasianvoices
#breakthestigma
#healingoutloud
#desimentalhealth
#itsokaytonotbeokay
#faithandfeelings
Latest
10 reactions •
5 comments
