suicide attempt survivors

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    Once again I feel myself going down the rabbit hole but don’t want to bother anyone with it!!

    I feeling the overwhelming urge to runaway and hide or just end it all so I don’t have to deal with the pain!! Since my last attempt in October my relationship with my BF has changed, my husband and daughter are scared all the time, and my brothers don’t talk to me much. My parents died within 3 months of each other!! #PTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #ADHD #ChronicObstructivePulmonaryDisease #SuicideSurvivor #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #SuicideSigns

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    The Mighty Support Group

    I finished up a support group rotation and wondered what I would begin doing with all of the emotions and thoughts I used to cover in group therapy. I was sure my previous support network couldn't handle these issues for me well. So, I found myself often returning to the Mighty in moments of emotional struggle.

    Sometimes, I read and listen to others coping with illness, social stigma, or personal realizations; sometimes, I give my own struggles words and pictures to share. I have found that regardless of which I do, I can spend as much or as little time in our support group style interactions as I need on a given day.

    I love that realization. The ending of a support group or sometimes the slow dwindling of attendance always bothered me. Just because I was healthier or stronger for now didn't mean I was "cured". I knew that I would need to give and receive on many issues again. So, finding the Mighty and recognizing it's value to me that is similar to a support group of others facing similar or sometimes very different issues has helped me tremendously.

    Thanks My Mighty Support Group!! I needed you. I appreciate the help and advice and comfort and acceptance!!

    #Depression #Anxiety #aspe #PTSD #CPTSD #Recovery #Parenting #COVID19 #SupportGroups #RapeSurvivors #SuicideLossSurvivor #SuicideAttemptSurvivors

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    Take a moment to consider...

    Practice being in the current moment.
    Not over analyzing the past.
    Not trying to predict your tomorrow’s.
    Even if I can only make it through a minute or two being in the present moment each day, I find it a beautiful and curious thing. It’s like brief glimpses into the world as it truly is, not what the world becomes as I put it through my seemingly endless layers of perception.
    My DBT therapist asked me to pay attention to where I reside in my thought life. I’m enjoying the challenge.
    It’s an interesting mental exercise.
    I stop many times throughout the day to identify where I am,
    then practice engaging my senses to bring me back into the current moment. #CPTSDinrelationships #CPTSD #PTSD #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #ADHD #AdultADHD #ChronicIllness #Hope #MajorDepressiveDisorder #BipolarDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveandRelatedDisorders #BrainPlasticity #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #LearningDisabilities #Insomnia


    !!TW: Suicide Attempts!! Just a Question for Everyone...

    Is anyone else seemingly very unsuccessful at killing themselves? Like, I either end up telling on my suicidal thoughts to someone I trust, or I do attempt but since I can't keep a secret, ever, about anything, again I end up telling someone I trust.

    Or, a few times, my service dog walks in on me trying to kill myself, and I tell her to go away, because I don't want her to see me in the process of dying, as I know it would be very traumatizing for her. Then, she goes and persistently tries to get my mom's attention until my mom calls my name, and then I stop, as I don't want to get caught in the act (and so far, I never have).

    When I'm "better", I want to live, mainly for my service dog. But when I'm "worse", I want nothing more than to finally end my years worth of pain and suffering.

    On another note, I'm afraid I might relapse back into suicidal thoughts again, despite just having gotten out of the psych ward yesterday, because I've been seeing things (people) that are not there again. I know if I go back to the psych ward again soon, however, they will want to keep me there for a long time. #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #PTSD

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    Today’s my daughter’s birthday and I’m home alone sobbing #CheckInWithMe

    This is me at my baby shower on March 12, 1988 when I was 17 1/2 yo. My daughter was originally due April 7th but after a 13 1/2 hour labor, was born on a sunny but snowy day, March 19th at 10:04am. Every year on her birthday, I go through this baby book and look at all of her pictures from when she was growing up. Today she’s 33 yo and hasn’t really spoken to me for the last ten years. I honestly don’t know why other than it may be because of my mental health issues. I have #CPTSD #PTSD #SexualAbuseSurvivors and #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder because I’m a #SuicideAttemptSurvivors .

    I started off my day with sending her a Facebook message wishing her a happy birthday and letting her know we could do anything she wanted for her birthday. She’s left the message unread. I don’t want to post anything about it on Facebook in fear of her blocking me again. (She really only lifted the block just so she could ask me for money.) I tried to just get on with my day by keeping myself busy, but one thought of her slipped in and I was a wreck.

    Therapists have told me to let her go and to live my own life, but I feel like my soul is connected to her and her well being. She knows that she saved me from a young age, but I think she also knows I tried leaving this life, and her, a few times. I know that’s too much pressure for anyone but it’s so incredibly hard for me to create a life without her in it. Such a big part of me feels as though that’s no life to live.


    The guilt

    After a very emotional conversation with my father on Friday night, I attempted suicide by over dosing on my meds. My boyfriend and his family found me and I woke up in hospital and spent 4 days in the psychiatric ward. Please can I get some advice about how to overcome my guilt for putting my family and friends through this.
    #Borderline Bipolar depression

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    Why I chose the name Sunantilambanomai.

    Essentially, this is a Greek word from many centuries ago that describes someone who joins you in your struggle. It is a description of someone who sees you struggling with something and steps in to help pull or carry the weight of the burden that you are facing. When I first heard the word it was described in the class as, “to pull with someone against something that is trying to overtake or overwhelm them.”

    Picture the classic tug-of-war scenario. On one side of the rope there are people or things that want to defeat you and on the other side of the rope is you doing your best to withstand the heavy pull from your opponent, using every bit of strength you can muster.

    Like me, I’m guessing that many of you have lost the tug-of-war many times. Because of my illnesses, with the weaknesses and limitations that come with the territory, I’ve done my best to be strong, yet ended up being pulled into situations and circumstances that I had no viable coping skills for. As you may well know, It’s a deeply awful feeling.
    BUT, now imagine the same tug of war scenario where the opponent is the same, but you have someone else, or even a team of people on your side of the field that are pulling with you on the rope against these things that threaten to defeat and destroy your well being....physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually.

    That is what SUNANTILAMBANOMAI is all about. These forums within The Mighty that allow for open discussion with people who have had such similar struggles who can encourage and share information - this place is an example of what it means to experience Sunantilambanomai.

    Some days I can join in with someone on their side to add some strength to the pull on their rope so they don’t get jerked out of their stance and lose to the enemy. Some days y’all interacting with me is just like you pulling with me, adding strength and therefore I can better withstand my opponent without losing the battle.

    I think this whole website is incredibly valuable. We can relate and not feel so alone in this fight. We meet people who “get us” that we never would have met otherwise. This community makes me feel so much less alone. Thank you all.

    #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #CPTSD #dissociativedisorders #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Fibromyalgia #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Insomnia #ChronicIllness #Disability #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Psychosis #DissociativeFugue #FamilyAndFriends #Autism #SuicideAttemptSurvivors


    I'm still here

    I struggle daily with PTSD, depression and anxiety some days I can cope and some days it's just horrible. After my second attempt on June 14, 2018 I found the best therapist. She and I were making tremendous progress however she moved away and I was given a new therapist. I literally think I broke her because when I went in for my second session with her one week later she told me "I can no longer be your therapist because the things you talk about hit close to home and after our first session I went home and cried. I talked to my superiors and they recommended that I give you a referral for another therapist." I have been dealing with my mental health issues on my own since then. The good thing is is I rarely think of suicide and if it does pop in my mind immediately open my journal and start writing. My journal's and drawing have helped me to cope. I am also a volunteer and on the board of directors with The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention New Mexico Chapter being part of AFSPNM has also helped me. So I just wanted post a little something and to say I'm still here and I'm still fighting.

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    Introducing me

    Hey guys, I have been here for awhile, but I hide behind photos of nature and art. I finally took a photo of me that makes me happy. I look good, I don't mean physically, but I genuinely look happy, calm and bright. And I remember feeling that way at this time also. So, here I am. Lisa, an almost 30 year old married mother of 3 living with #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDepression #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors ❤🤙