suicide attempt survivors

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Dark thoughts related to BPD and PTSD (age 27)

Dear Mighty, pelase connect me w people who suffer from BPD and/or PTSD.
I'm hospitalised atm due to dark/suicidal thoughts. I also have a problem with finding meaning in life after 12y being sexually abused as a child. I lost my father when I was 16, over the night. For 16 years (from the age 10) I've been battling anorexia.
Cherry on the top! Believe it ir not I'm studying psychology and cognitive neuroscience, which I really love, it makes me happy, and it makes some senese in my life, but unfortunately it doesn't guarantee I'll be free of relapses/suicidal shots which occur 2-3x a month.

Since I've been in hospital around 35x in last 10y, everybody's giving up on me. Today i googled Netherlands for legit euthanasia.

How do you guys get on with lack of support, especially from family members and close frineds?

P. S. I am also lesbian, i came out of the closet to my fam this year and everything is so turbulent. Mom is classical rural Christian.

I really think that some things would be easier if I had more support, coz i feel pain inside.

Is there any buddies going through the same or similar?
#PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Grief #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CheckInWithMe

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Terra firma #Depression #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #SuicideAttemptSurvivors

Six days a cloud i' the sun!
Watching distant 'golds
Blench and bend to see me down
'Midst sheer, eloquent magnetism.

Turns out today's chilly
Barometer did the trick.
O my words - is it well
To broach dirt again?

(edited)
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My narcissistic mother made of mockery of my feelings & suicide prevention month post...

First I want to say, September is Suicide Awareness Month. In honor of this month I shared my thoughts on my personal social media. I shared my own trials and tribulations.. to which my mother made of joke of my post. I will copy and paste what I wrote below and attach the photo I added to the post below:

"Sparkling with resilience, the semi-colon tattoo on my skin tells a story of triumph, a testament to the human spirit's capacity to persevere. It symbolizes the darkest moments, the times I felt lost and hopeless, when surrender seemed like the only escape. Yet, I chose to hold on, to keep going, one day at a time. 💪I think of those who stood by me during my darkest times, their unwavering support, their unconditional love, and their unrelenting belief in me. Without them, I would have missed out on the breathtaking sunrises, the warm embraces, and the joyous laughter, and beautiful celebrations that followed. I would have missed out on the opportunity to love and be loved, to experience the beauty of connection. I would have missed out on meeting my person, and gaining another family and added them to mine❣️. I am a warrior, scarred but unbroken, with a story that will ignite hope in the hearts of those who feel lost. My tattoo is a reminder that life is a tapestry of moments, some dark, some light, but all precious. It's a declaration that I am still here, still fighting, still loving, and still living.The day I got this tattoo, will forever be etched in my memory as a milestone, a celebration of where I am in my journey, and a reminder that no matter what lies ahead, I will face it with courage, with strength, and with the knowledge that I am not alone. This is my testimony. My truth."

My narcissistic mother told me that my post was dramatic, stupid & pathetic.. I feel like my own mothers won't understand me, they will never get me. ever. I feel so unseen, unloved... advocating for things like this because I have been through it more than once is a passion of mine because I want to help others. Spread awareness. #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Depression

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My narcissistic mother made of mockery of my feelings & suicide prevention month post...

First I want to say, September is Suicide Awareness Month. In honor of this month I shared my thoughts on my personal social media. I shared my own trials and tribulations.. to which my mother made of joke of my post. I will copy and paste what I wrote below and attach the photo I added to the post below:

"Sparkling with resilience, the semi-colon tattoo on my skin tells a story of triumph, a testament to the human spirit's capacity to persevere. It symbolizes the darkest moments, the times I felt lost and hopeless, when surrender seemed like the only escape. Yet, I chose to hold on, to keep going, one day at a time. 💪I think of those who stood by me during my darkest times, their unwavering support, their unconditional love, and their unrelenting belief in me. Without them, I would have missed out on the breathtaking sunrises, the warm embraces, and the joyous laughter, and beautiful celebrations that followed. I would have missed out on the opportunity to love and be loved, to experience the beauty of connection. I would have missed out on meeting my person, and gaining another family and added them to mine❣️. I am a warrior, scarred but unbroken, with a story that will ignite hope in the hearts of those who feel lost. My tattoo is a reminder that life is a tapestry of moments, some dark, some light, but all precious. It's a declaration that I am still here, still fighting, still loving, and still living.The day I got this tattoo, will forever be etched in my memory as a milestone, a celebration of where I am in my journey, and a reminder that no matter what lies ahead, I will face it with courage, with strength, and with the knowledge that I am not alone. This is my testimony. My truth."

My narcissistic mother told me that my post was dramatic, stupid & pathetic.. I feel like my own mothers won't understand me, they will never get me. ever. I feel so unseen, unloved... advocating for things like this because I have been through it more than once is a passion of mine because I want to help others. Spread awareness. #SuicidePrevention #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #OnedayAtaTime

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Are the doctors trying to help you or just traumatize you even more?

When I was 15, I attempted suicide. After two weeks in the hospital, I got transported to a psych ward, and the things I’ve experienced there were HORRIBLE.

The staff was mean and shouting at us 24/7. Any smallest inconveniece made them bully us, degrade our persona and attact our selfesteem.

They used their guidelines against us and often twisted them to hurt us. This one time they just randomly perscribed me new medication without even telling me the name. So I refused to take it. And in response? They took advantage of the fact that they are allowed to make you undress yourself when under the suspicion of self harm, if it’s in your card. (Note, I did not have SH in my card) But it has to be the bathroom or somewhere private. Where they forced me to be naked instead was the middle of the hallway and the nurse even grabbed a young boy (7 y.o.) and made me stand in front of him. NAKED.

They were secretly listening when you were on your phone with family and then giving you punishments when overhearing any slightest complain.

So I’m curious. What is your experience with psych wards and the doctors? #PsychWard #Doctors #BPD #SuicideAttemptSurvivors

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“Once You Choose Hope, Anything Is Possible.”

When you really think about it, it makes sense.

Anything really good is also possible.

Once you train yourself in the mindset of hope.

“Hope is a way of thinking,” says Chan Hellman, a psychologist who’s the founding director of the Hope Research Center at the University of Oklahoma. “We know it can be taught; we know it can be nurtured. It’s not something you either have or don’t have.”

Yes, there are hope researchers!
And hope is talked about in psychology and is incorporated into new therapy techniques!

“Hope begets hope, and it has such a significant protective factor.”

A protective factor against the development of chronic anxiety. Michael (2000) found that hope correlates significantly and negatively with anxiety, while also protecting against perceptions of vulnerability, uncontrollability, and unpredictability.

As psychologist and renowned hope researcher Charles Snyder et al. (2002, p. 269) stated so eloquently:

“A rainbow is a prism that sends shards of multicolored light in various directions. It lifts our spirits and makes us think of what is possible. Hope is the same – a personal rainbow of the mind.”

“The strategies of positive psychology give primacy to increasing wellbeing, rather than ‘treating’ illness.

Hope Therapy is borne from pure positive psychology. Rather than focusing on unpleasant or distressing factors, Hope Therapy techniquesincorporates positive self-talking, hopeful imagination, and connections with supportive networks (Shekarabi-Ahari, Younesi, Borjali, & Ansari-Damavandi, 2012).”

“According to Crocker (1998) hope therapy helps improve satisfaction, resilience, and levels of depression by effectively creating a positive cognitive triad; that is a positive view of yourself, of the world and of the future.”

“Furthermore, hope therapy can encourage individuals with a history of depression or unpleasant past experiences to contemplate the future in a more positive way rather than as a projection of previous experience (Santos et al., 2013).”

“Hope is more than just a simple emotion; hope is an essential life tool.”

For the resources given to therapists to help people utilize this essential life tool, you can go to this link and find worksheets, science-based activities/exercises, 4 recommended books, and a deeper dive into this psychology topic, and more:

What is Hope in Psychology + 7 Exercises & Worksheets

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Disability #MajorDepressiveDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ChronicIllness #IfYouFeelHopeless #Selfharm #Selfcare #Grief #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #ChronicFatigue #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Suicide #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Trauma #Fibromyalgia #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #SocialAnxiety #Loneliness #Headache #Migraine #Caregiving

What is Hope in Psychology + 7 Exercises & Worksheets

Hope therapy encourages individuals to contemplate a better future.
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Aftermath part 2: Do the good days last?

Today was a good day; then a crisis walked through our doors an I held it together long enough to get them help just to fall apart again. Thankful for understanding coworkers and boss who are so supportive while I face this uphill battle. #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Suicide

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Aftermath of Suicide #Grief #Suicide #SuicideAttemptSurvivors

Today is a rough day. I’ve been trying to be okay but know I’m not okay. I have a village behind me full of support and still feel alone. The loss of my best friend to suicide has brought so many things up. An trying to get through them and trying to understand again.

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