Toxic relationship
So there was this girl I used to talk to. We had a bit of a wild thing going on sending each other stuff, and yeah, she was into some intense roleplay, asked me to call her messed-up stuff in DMs and all that. We stopped talking for a while, then she suddenly added me again, saying she had problems with her boyfriend. I had a girlfriend at the time, who I really loved, but I ended up talking to this girl again. Eventually, she sent me nudes, and I gave in and did stuff I regret. We started talking dirty again.
Then out of nowhere, my girlfriend blocked me. I had no way to reach her, so I stupidly asked the girl I cheated with to talk to her and ask what happened. She did but also exposed me and sent my girlfriend screenshots. I was completely screwed.
I begged my girlfriend not to leave me, told her I loved her and that it was a mistake. She said she’d give me another chance if I hurt myself and showed proof. Dumb as I was, I did it. I cut myself and when I did she told me th cut is not deep enough so I made another one and I made it deep and it hurt so bad til I throw up after I done them I filmed it, and even joined some volunteer work she asked for to “fix my mindset” or something. She agreed to give me a second chance.
But honestly, it wasn’t a real second chance. She ghosted me, treated me badly, and made me feel like garbage. Then one day, she pretended she hooked up with some guy in a car and she did some unholy stuff with him and he grab her phone and called ma and told me about it in detail in a phone call turned out it was her friend, but I didn’t know that at the time. I broke down mentally and I cried for days and my body was shaking.
Later, I told her, “Okay, we’re even now, can we try for real?” She agreed. I was loyal, did everything she asked, and still, she treated me cold. Then she told me to cut myself again to prove my love. And I actually did it again. She got a bit nicer, and I thought things were finally getting better. But when I asked her out again she said ok ask me out with a 💌 or something and I agreed but in the next day she straight-up changed her mind and said no.
I kept trying. I sent friends to talk to her, tried again and again, and every time she’d say she’d give me another chance, but never actually meant it. Eventually, she told me she never loved me. That hit me hard, but I said okay, I’ll let go. I was still heartbroken, but I stopped reaching out.
A month later, she unblocks me saying she’s been thinking about me. I thought maybe she wanted to make things right—but nope. She blocked me again after 2 days. I had panic attacks and tried one last time to reach out, but she ignored me and blocked me again.
She added me again as she said to apologize and she actually apologized about treating me bad and I accept her apology and we talked for some days like two days then I asked her are you here to just apologize or do you wanna fix the things up and she said I don't really know so I gived her some time to think about it and we were talking normal for like a day then she turned cold and dry again so this time I tried to joke around but she was respond with dry message until she start saying nope to all the messages I sent to her and that's annoy me so I asked her to stop cuz this make me more anxious then she said haha then blocked me and literally the same loop start again. I made account by my name to try to talk to her, I bought new SIMs to message her but she made me feel worthless cuz everytime I try to reach out she was blocking me without even opening the message so I give up again and let her go.
In the last time She came back again asking me, “Who’s Joseph?” some guy she thought I was pretending to be or Friend of mine. I was done at that point and told her to leave me alone. But then she said she just wanted to ask me a few things. I didn’t care anymore. But she kept chatting and we ended up having a normal conversation for like 3 days. I asked her why she even came back—was it to fix things, be friends, or what? She said, “We’ve been done for ages, bro.”
That was it. I told her I’d remove her to heal and move on, since clearly she wasn’t here for the same reason. The next day, I saw she blocked me—even though I had already removed her and told her I wouldn’t chase her again.
Like... why block me again when I already said goodbye? I just wanted some closure. Some explanation. But I guess I’ll never get that.