Panic Attacks

A month ago my wife said she wants to be more close. Since then I have been in shock. I tried to make myself invisible and signal intense destress by throwing out all my possessions and cutting off my hair. There is nothing in my house to signal that I live here anymore. Since then I have completely withdrawn. I witnessed domestic abuse, sexual abuse and physical abuse, suffered psychological abuse and emotional neglect and witnessed repeated self harm and suicide attempts by my sister from birth to teens. I've had quite a bit of therapy to deal with the memories, but new ones are surfacing now all linked to intimacy. I'm having nightmares, waking up to panic attacks and walking around most of the time in a sort of dizzy daze.. I told my wife she should leave me (she won't - thank goodness). I'm barely playing with my kids. My wife keeps saying she wants more and feels rejected. I get how she feels but I can't give her more at the moment. I don't feel safe getting closer and I go into freeze at the slightest touch. I'm booked in for an assessment for further therapy. I feel like all I can do is hold my boundaries until help arrives. Anyone else struggled with intimacy avoidance?

Imagine for a moment that you're sitting in an airplane that's been having a pretty smooth flight so far. The fasten seatbelt sign is off, people are walking around the cabin, and things are uneventful. Slowly, as the minutes pass, you notice that it's been getting a bit choppier and more frequent bumps start to occur. The plane moves around like it's rolling over some small speed bumps in the air, and you also feel some side-to-side movements in the plane. As this happens, the seatbelt sign turns on and the captain asks people to take their seats and fasten their seatbelts. You see people move back to their seats, and you hear seatbelts click. It's often this moment that can bring worry and tension to people who fear turbulence -- not knowing how bad it will be, for how long, etc.

As the bumps continue, at one point you experience what feels like a quick dip—a sensation that may feel in the body like a large drop when it really lasts for maybe a second or two at the most. If you were outside of the plane looking at it, you wouldn't even notice the plane move. But from the inside of the plane, you feel this sudden drop throughout your body. In this moment, several people in the plane gasp out loud, and you even hear someone let out a quick scream. You can actually hear the sound of people's anxiety, and possibly their own fear of turbulence coming through. When you hear this your own anxiety also noticeably ramps up, and suddenly you're much more anxious and fearful than you were before, even if you were already feeling tense or nervous. Now, you're noticeably terrified, feeling that danger and worse case scenario is actually imminent instead of just a dreaded thought.  

Hearing People Gasp, Scream, and Cry During Turbulence Makes Danger Feel Real

Moments when people gasp and sometimes even scream in response to airplane turbulence can actually increase people's fear of flying. Hearing these external reactions of other people's fear and anxiety have stuck with them for years when hearing others around them gasping, screaming, or crying during turbulence. The experience of others' anxiety in the face of their own fear of flying and turbulence felt alarming, and had a way of validating and magnifying any of the fear they were already feeling.

Why does this happen?

Fear and Anxiety Validation

It's one thing to feel fear on the inside, but it's another to find out on the outside that other people agree with your fear. When people generally are afraid, it's normal to locate sources of calm from the outside in order to help soothe anxiety and fear. As children, whether with flying or anything else, you look to your parents when you're feeling scared or anxious to see if they are, as well. If they're calm, then you start to learn that things are probably okay and you can maybe settle a bit. However, if you're feeling anxious and scared and you see that one (or both) of your parents is also anxious, then it can start to feel like there really is a reason to be afraid. If you're scared, and they're scared, then you must really be in actual danger, and who's going to protect you if they're also overwhelmed?

These moments are not only terrifying for children, they can be for adults who are feeling scared, too, especially if as a child your parents struggled to maintain calm in the face of your anxiety.

In flight, people who are experiencing anxiety may search for the calmness of the flight attendants to help ground themselves. However, in a moment where you hear others around the cabin gasping and making audible sounds that announce fear, the body can automatically respond to this as if there are actual dangers and threats. The body may think, "Okay, other people are scared and not just me. Now I know we really are in danger and the worst may actually be happening."

This is a common experience that can underly and exacerbate fear of flying. When you're already feeling powerless, other people's reactions can become more powerful. For people who already experience fear of flying, it can be incredibly triggering. However, even for people who usually aren't afraid of flying, it can actually create or uncover fear that wasn't noticeable or there before.

The Magnified Fear Can Last For Years, Even Decades, Without Help

These experiences can actually be so triggering in the moment that they can stick with people for years after, even decades. It becomes easy to recall the moments in a flight where other people were scared, too. In many ways, the experience of your own fear can become more heightened than it likely would have been if it was just a moment of turbulence without hearing other people's reactions. While it still may have been unnerving to experience a momentary drop if you are fearful of turbulence, the addition of the gasps and external fears to it makes an imprint that is powerful on the mind and body. It has made people's fear of flying become stronger.

It is already very difficult to sit with fear, but when it feels like the perceived danger is real, the catastrophe is happening, and no one can help, it can be traumatic.

#fearofflying #Anxiety #Phobia #PanicAttacks

I’m going to be brutally honest here, because sugarcoating this helps no one.

Congress didn’t just pass “a hemp regulation.”

They didn’t just “tighten definitions.”

They didn’t just “close loopholes.”

They took away the ONLY thing that helped millions of us stay stable, functional, and alive — and they did it quietly, without warning, without debate, and without caring about the fallout.

And I don’t think they have any idea who they just hurt.

Here’s the truth no one else is saying: I am TERRIFIED.

Not worried.

Not inconvenienced.

TERRIFIED.

Hemp-derived THC wasn’t a toy for me.

It wasn’t about getting high.

It wasn’t a “new trend.”

It was the ONE thing that actually quieted the chaos in my head.

I have autism.

I have depression, anxiety, OCD, and trauma.

My brain does not give me breaks — ever.

But hemp-THC did.

It helped me calm down enough to work.

It helped me sleep.

It helped me stop spiraling.

It helped me feel human.

And now that’s going to be ripped away because of a bill I had zero say in.

I feel abandoned by the people who are supposed to protect us.

Do you know what it feels like to watch your mental stability disappear because of a political decision?

Because I do.

Right now.

It feels like being shoved off a cliff and told to “figure it out.”

It feels like your disability doesn’t matter.

Your mental health doesn’t matter.

Your pain doesn’t matter.

It feels like lawmakers looked at people like me — disabled, poor, traumatized — and decided we were acceptable casualties.

And for many of us, hemp-THC wasn’t just a tool… it was the ONLY tool.

People keep saying:

“Just try something else.”

“Take a prescription.”

“Use CBD.”

“Go to therapy.”

I’ve tried the “something else.”

I already take the prescriptions.

CBD isn’t enough.

Therapy can’t be scheduled at 2 AM during a meltdown.

Hemp-THC worked.

Dependably.

Legally.

Safely.

And now I’m being told to go backwards.

Let’s be honest: this ban is going to hurt people. Badly.

It will push people toward the black market.

It will make mental health crises worse.

It will force veterans into withdrawal.

It will send disabled people into shutdowns and panic attacks.

It will take away pain relief from elderly adults who have finally felt comfortable.

It will make low-income people choose between suffering and breaking the law.

This ban will not save lives.

It will destroy them.

I am angry. I am scared. And I refuse to be quiet about it.

The people who wrote this law don’t live our lives.

They don’t feel our pain.

They don’t see what we deal with every single day.

They don’t know how much harm they just caused.

But I do.

And if you’re reading this, you probably do too.

We still have one year — and I’m begging everyone who relies on hemp-THC to speak up NOW.

Call the lawmakers at the bottom of this post.

Email them.

Leave comments.

Share your story.

Make them SEE who they’re hurting.

Most of us don’t get heard unless we scream.

**If this ban terrifies you the way it scares me — tell me.

Tell all of us.**

How do you feel?

Angry? Scared? Betrayed?

Losing sleep? Losing stability? Losing hope?

Comment. Share. Let your voice be one of many.

Because if we stay quiet, they’ll assume we’re fine.

And we’re not fine.

Not even close.

#thcban #disabledandstrong #mentalhealthmatters #Autism #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicIllness #wedeserverelief #medical cannabis #MentalHealth #Autonomy #AutismSpectrumDisorder