petloss

Had to put down one of my two beautiful dogs today. She had some health issues but this came on very quick, and the vet said her tummy was so very filled with fluid, they couldn't even see her other organ clearly to assess. NO signs of heart murmur so they were surprised that her heart was so enlarged. Her trachea was moved 2 inches away from where it should have been because of all the fluid. What I'm writing and remember is cloudy, buried in the grief emotional mind, not at all being able to make any reasonable decision, let alone form a coherent sentence . I had a cataplexy attack collapsing from being in that room and moments.
She was 14, she was quirky and silly, stubborn, had a strong will, the kids in the neighborhood adored her and she them , just a gentle silly sweet pure little being. When having only two re a sons to stay alive and now one is gone, I'm just slipping further into making a plan that will let me be with my sweet again.

I don't want her to be gone. I wasn't ready. I wanted her to be healthy for the longest time.

After I left the vet I went to the local paxky store and got alcohol.. first drink since 14 years ago when I quit drinking.

I just really want to be with,my girl.

Sorry for rambling and incoherency

#MightyPets #petloss #Grief #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ChronicFatigue #ChronicPain #Alcoholism

Dive a little deeper into the topic of pet loss and grief by listening to today's podcast episode. I speak with Julie Marty-Pearson who has a doctorate in psychology and a podcast all about pets. Julie shares her own personal experiences with losing her two fur babies as well as ways to help you cope with the loss of your pet.

accordingtodes.com/105

#petlossandgrief #petgrief #petloss #copingwithloss #griefandloss #MentalHealth #griefawareness

My baby died a few weeks ago in a car accident and I don’t know how I can forgive myself because I should have prevented it. Pretty sure I want to die now