For as long as I can remember, my relationship with food has been rather complicated. My weight has fluctuated throughout my life, but I’ve mostly been overweight. Food has always been my go-to comfort, my crutch. I consider myself a foodie. I have such a love and passion for it. I always want to try the newest restaurants or make the latest trending recipe.
Food has been something that I can rely on. It’s been a friend when I needed one. It’s a coping mechanism that fills an empty void. It takes away the pain. For me, it’s euphoric. I’m so happy when I’m eating. Although that eventually turns into a vicious cycle of joy and guilt.
Depression can cause drastic changes in appetite. You can suppress it entirely, or it can lead to overeating. For me, the day is spent without much interest in food surprisingly enough. I attribute this to certain medications that I am now taking. But I still eat late at night when my emotions are overwhelming. I find myself indulging in sweet and savory treats. It’s always something salty, then something sweet. I use food as a distraction and as an excuse to eat my feelings away.
I understand that this cycle of emotional eating is common, especially among those who struggle with mental health. When I’m feeling down and depressed, my brain craves the comfort that only food can bring. It’s the easiest source of instant gratification.
From what I’ve learned, your dopamine spikes when you eat highly processed foods. For a moment, that food provides the comfort we so desperately need. But that relief is fleeting and is often replaced by shame, or further emotional distress, continually feeding the cycle.
The constant stress of feeling that shame for overeating takes a toll. For me, it’s like an emotional game of tug-of-war. I’m pulled and drawn to eat, I’m excited while eating, and then I fall into the pit of guilt. I feel the consequences deeply, and it’s horrible. But it’s a way to numb all of that emotional pain.
So how does one change their eating habits?
I am still on my journey of learning to navigate my relationship with food. I know that a healthier lifestyle is achievable. I’ve been there. Sometimes I might fall off the wagon, but I know I can get back on it. I do have the power within me to change; I just need to remind myself often of that.#
One strategy that has helped me is practicing mindful eating. I’m really trying to pay attention to what I’m eating and why. Am I just eating because I’m hungry? Or am I just eating because I’m anxious and depressed? Sometimes, I just do it out of pure boredom. But I’ve tried focusing my attention elsewhere.
Journaling has been a very helpful tool for me. It’s a way for me to identify what my emotional triggers are and try to find alternative coping mechanisms. I avoid retreating into old habits. I enjoy going for a walk with my dog. I also like listening to some music or chatting with friends. It all really makes a huge difference for me.
There are still tough days, and I know I won’t break these habits overnight. But it’s about finding better ways to cope with emotional distress. Healing takes time, but every small step toward self-awareness is a step in the right direction. I know I have the power to change, even if it’s just one day at a time.
“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.”
Akshay Dubey
#MentalHealth #eating #Depression #Anxiety
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