Relationships

Sometimes, I can’t fix things. I can’t rewind time. It’s too late. I’m at a place in my life where I felt ready to reach out to an old friend. We were actually best friends in high school. Then I abruptly broke off the friendship. No explanation. She moved on and made new friends. I folded into myself. See, we were getting too close. I had to keep my secrets about my abuse. I was ashamed and afraid. Since then, I’ve always been the one to denigrate a relationship. I’ve never felt worthy.
Well, I decided I was ready to reconnect with my old friend. I wanted to explain to her what I’d been going through back then. I wanted to ask for forgiveness. I wanted to hug her. It was too late. I found out she died of cancer in August 2 years ago.
I guess I just wanted to remind everyone not to wait. If there is something you want to tell someone, say it. Regret is something I’ll always live with. Rest in peace, Mary.

As doctors, we witness not just illnesses of the body, but also the silent, painful struggles of the heart. And when we see a couple navigating the stormy, traumatic process of divorce, there are three deeply important things we must remember:
✨Pause the Assumptions
Even if you have a PhD-level understanding of relationships, remember—you can’t decode every story. Every bond has its mysteries, every fracture its own hidden reasons. Resist the urge to judge, to comment, to assume you “know” what went wrong. Keeping your thoughts to yourself is not weakness—it’s compassion. Gossip behind closed doors? That’s not just unhelpful, it’s cruel.
✨Pray for Them, Sincerely
Turn to prayer, from the heart. In the Quran, we are reminded that trusting Allah’s wisdom and relying on His guidance brings peace. Pray that they find protection, strength, and provision beyond what they can imagine. Pray that even in this pain, something beautiful, something redemptive, can come from it.
✨ Pray for Yourself, Too
Yes, for yourself. Pray endlessly for your own relationships, for your own growth, for your own heart to be guided. Today, they are facing a trial—you might face it tomorrow. This is the humbling truth: empathy is also self-preservation. Let this awareness remind you to cherish the blessings you have, and to seek Allah’s barakah in every connection in your life.
Sometimes, the simplest acts of humanity—silence instead of judgment, prayer instead of gossip, empathy instead of criticism—are the most revolutionary. They’re the acts that heal, both for others and for ourselves.
💥 Let’s not forget: kindness is contagious. And a little human decency can ripple farther than we ever imagine.

I guess plans fell through again. Or maybe we can still grab dinner at the Greek restaurant that I really enjoy. I've been craving their lamb shanks and stuffed cabbage rolls. But I also really want French fries and broccoli. And it's Saturday which means they have my favorite soup today... Cream of chicken lemon rice. Oh my gosh it's so yummy!
#Relationships

Understanding Mental Health and Addiction: Rising Above the Cycle

Mental health and addiction don’t exist in separate worlds—they are deeply intertwined, often feeding off one another in ways that are misunderstood, stigmatized, and oversimplified. Research shows that individuals living with mental health challenges are significantly more likely to experience substance use disorders, and the reverse is equally true (SAMHSA, 2023; NIDA, 2024).

But behind the research are real people—people trying to survive pain, trauma, loss, and untreated wounds.

Understanding this connection is not about blame. It’s about compassion, awareness, and creating pathways to healing.

When Mental Health and Addiction Collide

Many individuals live with both a mental health disorder and a substance use disorder at the same time—a reality known as dual diagnosis.

Conditions such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, and bipolar disorder frequently coexist with addiction, making recovery more complex but not impossible (NIDA, 2024; SAMHSA, 2023).

Treating one without the other often leaves people stuck in a cycle of relapse and shame.This phenomenon, complicates treatment and requires an integrated approach that addresses both conditions simultaneously.

Self-Medication Isn’t Weakness—It’s Survival

For many, substances become a way to numb overwhelming emotions, silence intrusive thoughts, or escape unresolved trauma. This pattern, described by the self-medication hypothesis, explains how substance use often begins as an attempt to cope rather than a desire to self-destruct (Khantzian, 1997). Over time, however, the very thing used to survive becomes another source of suffering (CCSA, 2022) and worsens underlying mental health issues.

Trauma Changes Everything

Trauma—especially when experienced early in life—significantly increases the risk of both mental illness and addiction. Adverse childhood experiences, chronic stress, and unsafe environments shape how the brain copes with pain and regulation (PHAC, 2023; WHO, 18 2023). Healing requires acknowledging these roots, not ignoring them.

Factors such as trauma, genetic predisposition, and environmental influences can contribute to the development of both mental health disorders and addiction. Understanding these risk factors can help in designing prevention strategies and early interventions.

Creating Spaces Where Healing Is Possible

Awareness Breaks the Silence.
Education and open conversations reduce stigma and invite people out of isolation. When mental health and addiction are spoken about honestly, people are more likely to seek help and less likely to suffer in silence (WHO, 2023; MHCC, 2022).

Creating a supportive environment

1. Awareness and Education: Promoting mental health awareness can reduce stigma and encourage individuals to seek help. Education for friends, family, and the broader community can create a supportive network for those in need.

2. Access to Resources: Ensuring access to mental health services and addiction treatment is crucial. This includes therapy, support groups, and rehabilitation programs tailored to the needs of individuals with dual diagnoses.

3. Holistic Approaches: Recovery from mental health and addiction often involves a combination of therapies, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), medication, mindfulness practices, and lifestyle changes. Encouraging holistic approaches can lead to more sustainable outcomes.

Access to Care Saves Lives

Integrated, trauma-informed treatment—care that addresses both mental health and substance use together—leads to better outcomes and long-term recovery (SAMHSA, 2023; NICE, 2016). Healing should not depend on privilege or luck; it should be accessible, compassionate, and continuous.

Healing Is Holistic

Recovery is not just about stopping a behavior—it’s about rebuilding a life. Evidence supports combining therapy (such as CBT), medication when appropriate, mindfulness, peer support, and lifestyle changes to create sustainable recovery (Miller & Rollnick, 2013; NICE, 2016).

Empathy Is Not Optional

For Those Walking Beside Others

Integrated Care Matters.
Professionals who collaborate across disciplines—mental health, addiction, medical, and social supports—help reduce relapse and foster stability (NIDA, 2024).

At Rise Above Your Norm, we believe recovery isn’t about becoming someone else—it’s about reclaiming who you were always meant to be, beyond survival.

Mental health and addiction are interconnected issues that affect millions of people worldwide. The complex relationship between the two can significantly impact individuals and their families. By fostering awareness and understanding, we can create better outcomes for those experiencing these challenges.

Strategies for Professionals in the Field

1. Integrated Treatment Plans: Healthcare providers should develop integrated treatment plans that address both mental health and substance use issues. This includes collaboration among psychiatrists, addiction specialists, therapists, and healthcare providers.

2. Empathy and Communication: Building a trusting relationship with clients is essential. Practitioners should practice empathy, active listening, and open communication to create a safe space for individuals to share their experiences.

3. Ongoing Support: Recovery is a lifelong journey. Providing ongoing support through follow-up care, community resources, and continued therapy can help prevent relapse and promote long-term stability.

Healing happens in safe relationships. Trauma-informed, empathetic care builds trust and allows individuals to feel seen rather than judged (MHCC, 2022).

Recovery Is a Journey, Not a Finish Line

Recovery is ongoing, non-linear, and deeply personal. Continued support and community connection are essential to long-term wellbeing (Anthony, 1993).

Recovery is possible—not because the journey is easy, but because people are resilient when given the right support. When we move away from shame and toward understanding, when we treat mental health and addiction as interconnected rather than separate failures, we create space for real healing.

Conclusion

Working with mental health and addiction requires a compassionate, integrated approach that recognizes the complexity of these issues. By fostering awareness, providing access to resources, and creating supportive environments, we can help individuals navigate their paths to recovery. It is vital to remember that recovery is possible, and with the right support, individuals can lead fulfilling lives.

BigmommaJ
#MentalHealth #Addiction