Revelation

I honestly feel jealous and out of place from my friends and other 20 something year olds who are currently working, in relationships, living on their own, and seemingly thriving in ways I am not able to yet

I realize that they don't carry the same severe abuse trauma I am carrying. How, even some who were abused, had freedom in areas to grow that I did not

on the outside I always seemed fine. My family looked like the perfect happy family. But that was far from the case

I had an emotionally and physically abusive mother and an enabling father who together, created a destructive home filled with yelling, enmeshment, and abuse

I was parentieifed and expected to care for everyone, but no one cared for me. I am still picking up the pieces where it feels with every placed piece, it falls apart and breaks into more tinier pieces. It often feels never ending

I sometimes wonder why I was born into such a hellish abusive life. Why I didn't get the healthy or even less abusive childhood others had. Childhoods that might have allowed me to thrive better than I am now

But the reality is that I didn't get that. I was unfortunately born to traumatized emotionally immature people who did not take responsibility for their brokenness and passed it on

#Abuse #abusiveparents #Trauma #CPTSD #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #Revelation #Broken

*This is my personal experience * * Not saying everyone one should feel this way*

For the last 20 years (I am 44) I have prayed, begged and pleaded for god to take away my bp2 and my bpd. Last night I was listening to a sermon, about half paying attention (tbh). I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling come over me. My mh issues are not my disability. My mh is my super power. In looking at it this way, it’s starting to make me feel better. I still need to reflect on this but has anyone else had this revelation? #Revelation
#Perplexed

My emotions were all over the place last night and I accidentally revealed to my mum that I had stopped taking my meds from November, last year. She was reasonably furious and I am no longer responsible for my medication which makes perfect sense.
The reasons why I stopped in the first place was that I thought that I either didn't need them anymore or that I was fully recovered although at the same time I felt as if they were trying to shut me up, I honestly don't know...
I'm finally at a place now where I realise that maybe I'm not mentally healthy after all, that I do require medication to function, no matter how scared I am to take them initially. My family are telling me the truth, they want to help me and not harm me. I still have a long way to go but I hope everything else falls into place for me and my loved ones. #Revelation #mentallyill #Acceptance #Medication

I look back over the year, 2020…

vision gained? unsure.
a project completed?  check.
have I become more kind?
red spirits drift across my eyes.
time continues.  bodies age.
wrinkles and greys… opportunity and grace.

is there any key revelation?  unsure.
the Mediator says that He’s coming back soon.
I almost hope it would be now,
to take us all home.

there’s an agreement in my spirit.
can I verbalise it? unsure.
He’s still working at redeeming my pain
with a gentle love that just won’t let me go.
my stubborn attempts at survival
dovetailing with truth and revival.

what’s the moral of this story?  unsure.
as much as I long for closure,
2020 has left me with more questions than answers,
and so it seems fitting that my search will continue,
looking for brightness that trumps all artificial light.
our lamps are temporary, but God’s light is eternal.

did I get the benediction I seek?  unsure,
but it’s certainly funny
that the last 2 verses of the bible
are 20 and 21.

© Mark Bryant.  December 31st, 2020.
[Revelation 22:20-21]

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#2020vision
#kindredspirit
#mediator
#agreement
#dovetail
#Opportunity
#redeem
#Truth
#Love
#Hope
#Grace
#Revelation

Revelation 22:20-21

22:20 He who is the faithful witness to all these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon!”  Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!  21 May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s holy people.

New Living Translation (NLT)Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

the earth and sky break their dovetail.
they try to flee from the Presence,
but there’s no escaping
from this 20/20 vision…
no place to hide
from Almighty God
on His great white throne.

death and the grave hold power for now.
we all have found our mortal kindred spirit,
but there’s no escaping
from this revelation…
death has already been denied
by the Mediator
beside His great white throne.

the hungry and thirsty cry out.
they cry out for truth and love
but there’s no escaping
this opportunity for starvation…
one day, their hope and longing will be satisfied
from the river that flows
from the great white throne.

the curse and darkness are in agreement.
they themselves live in grace for now,
but there’s no escaping their termination…
there’s going to be no need for light
with Almighty God reigning
on His great white throne.

God’s name is written on our forehead.
His home will be among His people.
there’ll be no stopping this celebration…
these are the blessings in store for the upright,
the redeemed children of their Father
who sits on the great white throne.

© Mark Bryant. December 30th, 2020.
[Revelation 20:11-15; 21:1-7; 22:1-5, 12-14, 17]

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#2020vision
#kindredspirit
#mediator
#agreement
#dovetail
#Opportunity
#redeem
#Truth
#Love
#Hope
#Grace
#Revelation

what am I dressed in?
am I dressed in blood cleansed white…
a kindred spirit with the martyrs?
am I ready?
ready to be dovetailed into the family…
called, chosen, faithful?

what am I dressed in?
am I dressed in the purest white…
good deeds. the mediator and revelation?
am I ready?
ready to worship in grace and truth…
faith, hope, love?

what am I dressed in?
am I dressed in modest white…
without opportunity to be ridiculed or ashamed?
am I ready?
ready to be redeemed by the Saviour…
Lamb, Lord, King?

what am I dressed in?
am I dressed in the brightest white…
20/20 vision as though it’s blinded?
am I ready?
ready to die for His agreements…
truth, love, eternal?

© Mark Bryant. December 29th, 2020.
[Revelation 16:15; 17:11-14; 19:1-8, 9-10]

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#2020vision
#kindredspirit
#mediator
#agreement
#dovetail
#Opportunity
#redeem
#Truth
#Love
#Hope
#Grace
#Revelation

there’s so much happening here
that I don’t understand.
numbers and symbols
dovetailed with dragons, beasts, and fallen angels.
but, there is a truth that rings out,
beyond any 20/20 vision of humanity,
and beyond any earthly agreement.

those who love the Mediator…
those who trust in truth…
those who are redeemed by grace
and put their hope in Christ…
those who face accusation day and night…
those who suffer pain and hardship
for the revelation that’s born within…

…

they’ve already overcome!
their name is written in the Book of Life!
despite the raging war,
the battle is already won!

thanks be to God.

please, God, in the remaining time I have left,
may I take opportunity to remain faithful
and be glad
that I’m becoming more and more
a kindred spirit with You.

© Mark Bryant. December 28th, 2020.
[Revelation 12:7-12; 13:7-10; 14:1-5, 6-7, 12-13]

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#2020vision
#kindredspirit
#mediator
#agreement
#dovetail
#Opportunity
#redeem
#Truth
#Love
#Hope
#Grace
#Revelation

the mysterious plan will be fulfilled:
with lightning… with thunder…
with earthquakes… with hail.

there will be reward for the righteous
and judgement for the unjust.

turn now, before the storm hits.

will I be strong enough to hold onto truth?
will I be weak enough to be held by grace?
will I be humble enough to allow unconditional love?
will I be proud enough to boast in the Mediator?

He is the One who redeems!
He is the Lord of revelation!
He is the Source of hope!
He is the Spirit of holiness!

before the storm hits,
may I take the opportunity
– to seek with 20/20 vision –
agreements of peace.
may I become
a kindred spirit with the least,
and may I find my inner soul
dovetailed toward eternal reward.

may I point others to safety,
before the storm hits.

© Mark Bryant. December 27th, 2020.
[Revelation 10:5-7; 11:15-19]

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#2020vision
#kindredspirit
#mediator
#agreement
#dovetail
#Opportunity
#redeem
#Truth
#Love
#Hope
#Grace
#Revelation

ransomed.
a price paid that was undeserved.
a price paid that was beyond extravagant.
a price paid that redeemed lives
to act as eternal priests…
kindred spirits with the Mediator.

ransomed.
in their tribulation
they trusted in truth and love.
they had seen clearly with 20/20 vision.
they had opportunity to see revelation.
their hope was robust,
their life entrusted to their God.
they live for God,
they died for God,
now, they will live forever, for God.

ransomed.
imperfect, shown grace.
now, agreements are dovetailed
to keep them safe.
shelter and shade…
food and drink…
guidance, revival, and comfort.

come, Lord Jesus.

© Mark Bryant. December 26th, 2020.
[Revelation 5:1-14; 7:9-17]

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#2020vision
#kindredspirit
#mediator
#agreement
#dovetail
#Opportunity
#redeem
#Truth
#Love
#Hope
#Grace
#Revelation

sevens.
completeness. wholeness.
all peoples and the Almighty.
challenging agreements with sharp truth.
will we take the opportunity to change?
to dovetail listening with obedience?

sevens.
completeness.  wholeness.
fulfilment of revelation.
grace that redeems
and a love that overcomes.
20/20 vision and hope for new citizenship,
belonging to an eternal kingdom.

sevens.
completeness.  wholeness.
feed me with life.
call me by a new name.
I am known,
and I’ll be authorised to judge nations.

sevens.
completeness.  wholeness.
help me to be a kindred spirit
with one who holds tightly
to the truth that gives life…
to the truth that cleans and clothes in white.

sevens.
completeness.  wholeness.
sitting with the Mediator on His throne,
a permanent place in His pillared palace,
and His presence, I’ll never have to leave.

© Mark Bryant.  December 25th, 2020.
[Revelation 1:4-8; 2:1, 7-8, 11-12, 17-18, 24c-29; 3:1b, 4-14, 19-22]

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#2020vision
#kindredspirit
#mediator
#agreement
#dovetail
#Opportunity
#redeem
#Truth
#Love
#Hope
#Grace
#Revelation