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    Mother’s last wishes (warning can be triggering)

    So my mom passed last week. The week before she passed we were at the Drs office as they delivered the news that my mom had a few weeks left to live. My mom brought up my oldest brother and said I know that my brother didn’t rape you.
    This was not a time or place I wanted to talk about it.

    My mother and I never fully talked about what occurred with my brother when I was younger. My brother on more than one occasion was inappropriate with me as a child. I talked to him for most of my adulthood. A few years back I had flashbacks of the situations. Which I can see clearly as if they were yesterday. I decided it was too difficult for me to continue to act like nothing happened.

    My mother basically wanted me to forgive my brother. Without knowing fully what the situations were. So my Mother on her deathbed wanted me to forgive and makeup with my brother.

    I feel guilty as my mother has passed and I know that this would have made her so happy. Idk what to do. If I do it for my mom as it was her dying wish. Or stand strong and continue to feel guilty even thou I did nothing wrong.
    #Mothers #BereavedMothersDay #mother #ChildAbuse #RapeSurvivors #adolescent sexual molestation trauma #Survivor of rape and or molestation

    12 reactions 5 comments

    Today sucked: It was a boring day. Hate being stuck in the group home the whole time.(It's where my Day Program) comes from. When it's a beautiful day outside. All i did was crafts all afthernoon. The house is also a little chilly. It's also #Mothers days and well just feeling #sad . The thing that really bugs me is, well don't understand to be h0nest. The reason she gave for just staying at the house is because of gas prices. Ok i get they are high. It's just she is a worker and is paid to take the person out and do things/ They get gas gift cards also, But yeah it is what it is. Just needed to complain. #Depression It just makes me feel sad 'I would of rather just been home sitting outside in the sunshine reading my bookk. listing to music alone. That would have been more fun. ok vent done.

    1 comment

    #Mothers Day and Father's Day

    #Grief , #Depression ,#emotional and verbal abuse by my mom,
    Both have been gone for 20+ years! But these special days leave me feeling lots of angst toward mom .
    I was recently validated by my oldest brother that mom didn't want me!
    I was a daddy's girl but even that was tempered by mom, she ran interference when he and I spent time together via phone and in person.
    I am 70 yrs old and was born 3 months early, so I was a challenge for my stay at home mom. Very sickly and died several times my first year of life.
    Today I spent quality time with a friend in phone call. I used my coloring apps and word search to keep above board. Made sure to eat and drink. Self care 💅 time.

    See full photo

    Happy Mother’s Day #Mothers #Motherhood #Love

    Hoping all Mothers celebrating today are having a happy and blessed Mother’s Day

    See full photo

    Book Review for Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult

    I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoyed The Green Mile. The story is about June Nealon who is looking forward to a future with her husband, daughter, and unborn baby. Suddenly, that future is gone and replaced by anger, fear, and struggling.
    Shay Bourne's life hadn't been easy. Raised in Foster Cares, uneducated, and life had never offered Shay anything.
    Shay's redemption lies with June and her 11 year old daughter, Claire. In the way of Shay's redemption lies a mother's anger, a life of crime, and a lot of regrets.
    The story ask of everyone, "Would you give up your vengeance against someone you hate if it meant saving someone you love? Would you want your dreams to come true if it meant granting your enemy's dying wish?" The answers are hard but Picoult weaves a heart wrenching story that touches anyone that reads it. #BookReview #JodiPicoult #Murder #Crime #justice #Mothers


    I'm losing at the speed of sound

    What if I stopped all human contact forever? I'm hurting both me and everyone around me, there's no cure for my disorder so I can't change anything ... what if I decided to let everyone go. I have to set them free, I don't have any friends, I've managed to get rid of them in the past couple of years. But I'm stuck with my mom, she's the only one who wants me. I asked her to stop being my mother 2 days ago, I wished her loneliness and pain. I wish I could just die already, I've tried many times nothing seems to work. I feel immortal. There are many people sick or dying every day, due to the virus, out of poverty or hunger, etc ... They're fighting to live another day, I wish I could give them my life span and take theirs. I have everything and so much more, and yet my soul is suffering.
    #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #Isolation #Death #SuicidalThoughts #Mothers



    any other mothers here feel your significant other is a child and makes everything worse for you. isn’t coparenting is just a narcissistic a hole selfish a hole?