SepsisSurvivor

In 10min, I'm going to smoke my last cigarette. I've been using the QuitSure programme after a few failed quitting attempts. I have asthma and a few months ago I was in HUD, on oxygen and my organs were shutting down, thanks to pneumonia that was caused by fusobacterium after tonsillitis. I almost died. I know my smoking played a part in that. I refuse to keep poisoning myself. Today I give up forever. My mind, body, lungs and heart deserve a better chance. I'm commiting to taking better care of my health! I'm a bit scared but I'm doing it! I'm so happy. #Asthma #SepsisSurvivor #Smoking #MentalHealth

#SepsisSurvivor

I'm a chronic pain patient with probable EDS (hypermobile joints, subluxing,joint pain, renal duplex collecting system,chronic kidney stones and many more). I've also had sepsis. Due to all of this I've had to experience some awful things. I have PTSD from all of it.

I am sitting on a panel at a national pediatric conference this weekened and the topic is PTSD from hospital/illness. I want your hep! What do you wish healthcare professionals knew about PTSD?

‘I really don’t think my situation is or was serious enough to be PTSD?’
He grabbed my chair and pulled me closer to him and said in a stern voice, ‘You were almost dead when they found you. Your organs had shut down. You went into septic shock and then a coma. Your two kids almost lost the one solid person in their life. YOU ALMOST DIED A PERFECTLY HEALTHY 40 YEAR OLD WOMAN-you are allowed to say you have PTSD!! Ok. Gotcha. But I still didn’t think I ‘deserved’ that diagnosis as stupid as that may sound. People who see horrible tragedies and experience serious long term trauma-they are the brave ones.
At age 40 I was divorced with two kiddos. My mom has ovarian cancer and I had severe endometriosis and doc said we gotta get that outta there. I wasn’t planning on using it anymore. But keep the ovaries because I don’t need hormone replacement therapy and menopause just quite yet. So we agreed to leave them and then check them by ultra sound every 6 months. Deal? Deal! Surgery was great. My obgyn of 13 years did a fabulous job. I ate French toast the next morning and was back home by lunch. That’s the last clear memory I have for almost two months. That was December 6, 2017. On December 11th 911 dispatched an ambulance to my house that I share with my kids. I had been found flat on the floor with stool coming out of my mouth and nose. I was in renal failure in and in/out of consciousness. After the idiots (sorry) at the ER thought I was just an opioid overdose because of my altered mental state and gave me Narcan, a general surgeon came in and took one look at me and asked if any of them had examined my belly. I immediately went into septic shock and into the OR. I stayed in a coma for 5 days. I remeber screaming for my mom at some point. Turns out the obgyn had perforated my lower intestine while trying to get out my uterus. And I had been leaking stool throughout my body for 5 days. I also ended up with rhabsomyleosis (sp) from being in a hard surface for that long. They to teach to walk etc-even teach me to swallow again. After about a month I went home with an iliostomy bag that I ended up luckily only having to have for 8 months. I had never heard of sepsis or rhabdomyleosis or an iliostomy bag. All in all I had 5 surgeries in 18 months. My last one 1 year ago today. And maybe I am not on the right page for this-as you can probably tell I am new-but my entire life has changed. I had been an elementary teacher for 15 years. I took care of my bipolar husband for 13 years and even worked extra jobs to support my kids. I was usually pretty happy. My house was always clean. We ate family meals every night together...basically June Freakin Clever. And now I have no idea who that was. I would not accept I had PTSD and post sepsis syndrome and problems that will last for the rest of my life. That doctor after doctor can’t tell me how much damage was done to my brain and how it will affect my mental health. I am so lost and alone.

Today it was the third anniversary of when I died twice due to Sepsis but survived. I shared this message on WhatsApp and Facebook with very little acknowledgment. That’s left me feeling really depressed, upset, hurt and unloved. Why did I have to survive? Was it worth it? #SepsisSurvivor #Disability #Depression #lonely #Ileostomy #AnxietySymptoms #Suicide #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #septicshocksurvivor