Broken Heart only unconditional Love can heal. Dog is God in reverse.
This past June 2022 I lost my most loyal best friend who was with me, encouraging and lifting me each day to do better and be better.
She was the most perfectly imperfect dog, with special needs herself due to trauma and we made it through 13yrs and 2months. She jogged with me up to two days before losing the ability to hold herself up sitting and having seizures hourly.
I have treatment resistant Major depression GAD social anxiety ADD and not in the best environment for recovery and growth.
SHE was all I needed. She loved me unconditionally even when I could not bare to get out of bed.
I began TMS treatment in 2020 and have had 3 treatments 36 sessions each.
I must have tried every medicine available over a decade and on absurd amounts bc nothing helped.
The TMS allowed me to lower one of my highest main antidepressants by half which was a miracle.
My Angelpup was my reason to keep going. I wanted to give her the best I could give and coming home after treatment seeing kissing loving her was all I needed to get through the day.
I have now been without a dog since June 2022 and I’m barely holding on. I wake up and my Heart feels painfully empty.
I reside with family for the last decade and they were not interested in educating themselves on mental health to understand me.
My only Mercy over these tormented years was my pup.
My environment contributes negatively to my mental health but I cannot escape it.
I was let go from 2 different jobs after two years with each of them bc I couldn’t keep up when my emotions were running the show.
I am a HSP (highly sensitive person) check out the documentary on Amazon prime video on The Untold story of HSP. Gives incredible insight.
People I reside with see nothing wrong with my physical appearance or suggest disability or struggle, therefore they believe I’m riding the gravy train, being lazy and intentionally unproductively sad all the time.
Now that I’m alone (no dog, no husband, no children, no career, no gift or talent skill that could help me support myself).
I am truly alone.
These family landlords decided dogs would no longer be allowed. (Bc they want me so uncomfortable that I leave to go anywhere that won’t reflect shame on the family.)
My pup was the only certainty of love unconditionally in my life without judgement.
I don’t know if visiting the SPCA is enough anymore bc I cannot keep or connect bond with dogs I can not take home.
I have no income bc mental health has sabotaged any attempts I made to work.
I’m barely hanging on now. I wake up and have no Heart to put into improving my life bc without a partner- specifically a dog.
I am so alone and my Heartbeat was meant to be in sync with another heartbeat.
She got me out of bed exercise martial arts walking yoga etc but without her by my side I haven’t been doing selfcare.
I try to be invisible bc those without understanding of mental health conditions are always negative and feels like being beat down.
Dogs are our direct connection to God’s unconditional love on earth and without that bond I am lost and disappearing.
How do I break out of this circumstance to be able to bond with a dog for inspiration and courage when the home owners will not allow another dog bc they want me to leave and will not make any accommodations that I need for my mental health?
I’ve never been so alone feeling unloved and unwanted in my life.
I’ve been searching for work, gone on interviews, enlisted the help of the MHA mental health association and see a wonderful therapist that without her and my dog I would not be alive today.
I need an emotional support pet ESP and have hit a dead end of options.
Does anyone know of any legit remote work to refer?
Does anyone know where to get a dog for low or no cost to adopt or foster?
I just need a canine to have a Glimmer of Hope to keep going.
I’m also looking for “my people” or “my tribe”. I Hope the Mighty can be my tribe/people.
Does anyone have any suggestions, words or ideas for encouragement that can help me manage my health conditions with no support and most vitally get a dog?
Are there programs of any kind for job training placement, placement of an ESP and anyone with depression living their best life what advice would you give?
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