Left for a while @depression @disability@chronicpain.
Hello Mighty warriors. I left the Mighty for a while.
I was hospitalized for a week. I had two infections that wouldn't go away, so my doctor admitted me. They left me very confused for about 3 days . Because my veins are very small, the nurses had a very hard time starting IVs so my arms were all purple. I felt like I didn't have any real choices. And couldn't sleep! And my lips were terribly chapped.
Leaving, I had awful balance problems (I have ataxia)which was made worse. I lost 11 lbs
(121 to 110 lbs) and no appetite. And still couldn't sleep. And my lips hurt. My darling partner kept my dog Russell safe. So why leave?
I developed depression. I couldn't sleep. Still couldn't eat. My lips hurt.
I couldn't seem to get thru this. I couldn't read about depression, sad times and problems. Or listen to the news.
I had to focus on myself. I needed rest so I turned my phone off. Even with my walker, my walking was and is awful. Slowly, my depression has improved because I prayed to God asking for dealing with these feelings.
The photo is of my brother John (in vest) and wife Sandy, while on the right, my beloved Guy and finally me. I was talked into going out to eat.
I have much to be grateful for.
I try not to think too much about world events and my 3 granddaughters lives in the future. I'm at Guy's home still practicing walking. Russell ( my little dog)loves it here. I am loved and cared for by Guy.
However, my depression tries to return. Some nights I still can't sleep. It tries to sneak in. I have to make myself eat healthy foods. But I won't give in.
And dig this, I stopped smoking!!!! I still want to smoke (it's been 2 months). I do needlework to keep my hands busy. I wore a patch for a while.
Life is up and down for me sometimes. I never even knew I had not 1, but but 2 infections. I felt awful physically and mentally. It was awful. Guy and I have tickets to see Manheim Steamroller later this month!
I am not overwhelmed by the Christmas holidays.
It's terrible to have no control control sometimes. But I need to go the rough times in order to learn and appreciate the good times.
Sorry for the long post. Guess I just needed to share my feelings. Thanks for reading this. Peace out.🤘