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I like being alone. But not like this.

I can’t describe the kind of loneliness and pain I am currently through. I can’t talk to anyone about what I’m really feeling. I literally have no friends to turn to. I just got out of a 3 year relationship. My first relationship. And as gay guy. It’s been 13 weeks now, and I’m still struggling to cope. We didn’t end things badly. He broke up with me and asked if all the things he mentioned was true or not and I agreed. We both decided it’s better. We still care so much for each other but ae don’t really talk. I stayed with him for those 3 years and now I had to move back to my hometown with my parents. Now my support system (parents) are not that great. They don’t know how to deal with someone going through what I’m feeling. We can’t discuss it. Ever since o was a child also. Nothing. They also don’t fully accept that I’m gay and they think it is a choice. So I just sit with my thoughts. Alone. Going insane. I’ve been praying to God to help me every night. I’m seeing my psychiatrist next week after waiting for these past 12 weeks. Finally. Someone can finally sit and listen to my story. I hope he can help. Because I feel lost. And and also I’ve been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety and bipolar since 2016. So it’s total hell for me. #Nofriends #breakup #heartbreak #lonely #lost #Someonesaveme #BipolarDepression #Anxiety #Grief

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Today has been rough. Not only am I struggling to fight my inner demons. The things that keep me up at night. The reasons life and everything in it make me anxious. I’m also having to deal with harsh words from someone who means so much to me. I’ve been told my “behaviour” is selfish. Purely because of depression and over doses. Should I be shamed in to believing I’m selfish? I know perhaps in some people’s eyes suicide is a selfish act. But I guess those people have never been on the edge.. Never been pushed to the point of giving up on yourself. I feel my life spiralling and I don’t know how to stop it. My head is a mess and I’m fearing its more than depression.. But, too scared to find out what else it could be. Please.. I beg of you mighty warriors, help me! Advice, positive vibes, virtual hugs, anything.. I need something at this extremely lonely hour.. #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety #BrainFog #Losingthewill #Notcoping #help #Someonesaveme #Insomnia