Dear god, I have reach out for help time and time again to you and to others for help. God if no one replies to this by the time I put my child in her crib tonight, I will have my answer to if today is my last day. #help #SuicideAwarness #god #alone
Tell me again depression is invisible?
You can sympathise with someone with a broken arm can’t you? Well unless you have x-ray vision I’m pretty sure you can’t ‘see’ the break; however you can see the swelling, the tears & the cast. So tell me how is mental health ‘invisible’. This image for me is so unbelievably confronting! Why? .... Because these images were taken just a short three months apart from one another & I can assure you this was no fad diet or weight loss plan! This is what depression & a suicidal state of mine destroyed. My whole world!
Now my mum is no celebrity nor figure in the public eye that got any lime light or hundreds of people mourning her death but she made an impact in this world & her life is not valued any less because of her social status. I hope for some of you who have been naive to mental health this puts it into perspective for you.
Since openly speaking of my mums suicide it’s blown me away that almost everyone I’ve spoken to has lost a loved one, friend, long distance relative to suicide or knows of someone else’s story. I myself was unaware until my mums death that I had two distance family members suicide prior to my existence.
Everyone’s life is valued, and I myself want to ensure no one feels the pain that my family endured. The pain my uncle & I went through identifying my mums body. The pain my grandmother had crumbling on her daughters coffin. The heart ache, pain & guilt her close friends go through being completely unaware she was even struggling!
It’s not weak to speak!
Your social stigma on suicide can get shoved!
Always be kind!
#SuicideAwarness
Today is National Semicolon Day,
The semicolon movement is one I hold very close to my heart.
The hardest part of "recovery" is being honest,
Putting your truth out there no matter how ashamed you may feel.
I have been to dark places my fare share of times over the last couple of years,
and let me tell you, its not a nice place to be.
But somehow over the years I've survived,
I've survived the shit life has thrown at me.
I'd be lying if I said it was plane sailing, but I can't deny that it's an achievement.
After years of doctors appointments, countless weekly CAMHS meetings, a number of key workers, a large care team, multiple psychiatrists and therapists, multiple crisis team phone calls and meetings, hours spent on the phone to suicide hotlines...
and finally a diagnosis of BPD/EUPD, with depressive tendencies and eating traits,
I can say...I'm still here.
If I'm honest I've been back in the clutches of darkness recently,
and still am,
some of you may not have known, noticed or even guessed.
Mental illness does not have a face,
This time almost 2 weeks ago I was sat with my CAMHS worker as usual,
little did either of us know how it was going to pan out.
The session ended with me sitting in the waiting room for 2 hours whilst she frantically contacted the crisis team, safer spaces,
and local hospitals looking for me to be assessed and trying to find a bed for me to stay in,
fearing that she would not see me the next week, or ever again for that matter.
After my psychiatric assessment with hospital psychiatrists and members of the crisis team, I remember her approaching me and saying,
"when you walked in today I never expected this, who would've known".
This reiterates my point,
mental illness does not have a face,
people will put on a face,
but no matter how much they try to fight it,
it is always there.
For those who feel they have to wear a mask,
it's OK to show emotion.
It's OK to NOT be OK.
It's OK to ask for help.
You are NEVER ALONE.
-
Today is National Semicolon Day,
"A semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence but chose not to.
The author is you and the sentence is your life" - Amy Bleuel #ProjectSemicolon #Itoknottobeok #BPD #EUPD #SuicideAwarness
Growing up with anxiety & depression I always forget to live in the moment. The way I see my anxiety is me being worried about the future & with my depression is me being upset about the past. Here’s a reminder to myself to live in the present. Here And Now.
“Don’t you know that
I’ll be around to guide you
Through your weakest moments
To leave them behind you
Returning nightmares
Only shadows
We’ll cast some light and you’ll be all right
We’ll cast some light and you’ll be all right
For now”
Crosses - Jose Gonzales (life is strange theme)
#SuicideAwarness #BingeEatingDisorder #youareenough #youarenotalone #Suicide
You didn't think the other side would be better. You thought the other side would be nothing at all. Imagine choosing nothing at all. Imagine something hurting that bad.
But you don't lose a person like a set of keys, Cause you don't find them again, And you can still get to where you're going. Resilience itself is an awful thing to grieve. #Depression #SuicideAwarness
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