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The three words I guess are my current mantra

I have had an exhausting year this year.
My 30th birthday may have never existed thanks lockdown.
I have stayed sober by choice on many occasions I would normally drown myself in rum to numb myself from feeling.
Lockdown gave me a mental breakdown which showed me what I could really be capable of.
But now I have almost finished moving house and while physically fighting with my body day to day something new.
I am obese my bmi 50+ so easily suffering heat exhaustion every other day. But I moved further from work and onto a top floor.
So while I know my body is in agony right now. It will become stronger and build stamina until one day I can walk home without pausing to breath and climbing 4 flights without resting.
Just keep going.
At work I fail this but I am pushing myself beyond my limits. Yes my body fails yes its sort of a mental self harm. But its a healthy one.
My asthma has stopped me for long enough.
My weight has held me back long enough.
My mentality of excuses has held me back long enough.
I say this every time I pause for breath.
And each time I stand and I force the pain and exhaustion to listen to me.
So for today
JUST KEEP GOING. #Depression #PTSD #Transman #exhaustion #obese #suisidal #help #Agoraphobia #WeightLoss #Stamina #mantra

1 comment

I'm having suicidal thoughts lately, although I'm out of depression since 5 months now! And I had one thought about self harming!

Even though it never happened before so I'm really concerned.. Should I be worried?? Is it normal at this point of recovery?? #Depresssion #suisidal _thoughts #anxious