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    A day in life of warriors

    #Trying so hard to stay focused. Very hard.#enjoy weekend

    13 reactions 2 comments
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    Trauma

    Not coping, struggling …. I try so hard to be good enough - I’m never enough. They made me feel like that. #CPTSD #ChildhoodAbuse #NotGoodEnough #cantmoveon #Anxiety #Trying

    46 reactions 20 comments
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    Gateway to #heaven

    There is a photo I took the other day from the car. I looked up and snapped the photo as we drove. I felt like it was as my husband called it "Is that the Gate to Heaven?"

    I thought about #Grief and #Loss and how I #MISS my #Dad . It has not been an easy year. But 2023 looks a little more promising. It does not feel complete without my Father being around anymore. But, I know that I have many more things I need to do that I have to focus on.

    I am #Trying to keep a #Job now that I have found one. I just started it and already my hours have been slashed. {Sigh} I don't know what to do. The hours are cut because the business is slow, and there is a desperate need for more students to come to the learning center for tutoring otherwise.. we may not have jobs much longer.

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    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨💓💓💓💖💖🥰🥰🥰😀 #Love #Trying #Recovery #illness #thriving #struggling

    1 reaction 1 comment
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    For the New Year..

    I made no resolutions, but I am trying to resolve, to reconcile with my oldest daughter who has chosen to estrange/alienate us. I don’t know, or understand why.

    This is a letter I recently sent her and my attempts are in vain. It hurts me to think that for her life, what time she has left (she has Stage 4 metastatic cancer) we, most likely will never speak again. At least, when I die, I’ll know, I tried.

    -I apologize if I ever did a wrong to you. I tried to be a good parent. I did the best I could, with what I knew, with what I had. Perhaps, I’d been over protective at times, perhaps not enough at other times.

    I feel like I’m enough. I somehow think you always wanted me to be more.You wanted me to be different somehow.

    I thought we did a good job raising you. We’re not perfect. I do consider you a successful adult. You had a great career, a great work ethic, you’re honest, you have friends, and a great husband in _____, you’re generous with your resources and you give as a volunteer for charitable causes.These are positive attributes about you. Is that because you had such a traumatic upbringing because we were your parents?!

    At some point in time, I put many of the resentments and unresolved issues with my own parents aside. I tried very hard to forgive them because it helped free me to have a better more adult relationship with my parents. I think I finally stopped blaming my folks for being their imperfect selves after I became a parent.

    I realized that my parents were not to blame for all the traumas I went through as a child. These are different for everyone. We all take different figurative paths in life, and in time. I believe life is too short to hold grudges against loved ones for what I perceive as their shortcomings or mistakes.

    On our trip to Vermont, we both said things we can’t take back..It took awhile for me to recover from that trip, mentally and emotionally.

    I know the myriad of boundaries, you tried to establish.They’ve become a wall now. You’ve walled us out of your life. We don’t understand your behavior or what we’ve done to elicit that behavior. I wonder why you would take people you’d known your whole life, those willing to try and be a support, those who Love you, and cast them out of your life?

    I believe we only have control over our own actions and reactions in response to the people places and things in the world. We don’t however, have control over the people, places and things. Sometimes, if we’re ill we might not even have basic body control, or control of our reactions and responses.The loss of that I’ve seen in several loved ones.

    I Love You, even if there’s no return or reply, even if my thoughts are not appreciated, wanted,or read. In the past, I thought we had a decent relationship, as your parents and even as friends.

    From my side,the proverbial door, always remains open…
    Love,
    Mom

    #LoveLetters #Trying #Love #Family #Depression #PTSD

    35 reactions 13 comments
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    Trigger warning* not sure if allowed to post I feel maybe I have some Bipolar condition as well as my anxiety

    I don’t think I actually am but sometimes I wonder, I know only a professional can diagnose me I think it’s just really bad highs and lows with life changes/ stressors etc. but it happens so often and during the week sometimes I don’t know if my extremes could be something else or not. Was just curious if others who know they have bipolar disorder or are officially diagnosed with it could explain a bit how it is for them? Thanks.

    I’ll seek a psychiatrist or doctor to evaluate
    Im only diagnosed with
    GAD
    And depression etc

    Thanks appreciate any help.
    I think I’m just having a tough time right now and I just need to get some help which I’m setting up, but just wanted to hear from others who do struggle with other disorders bpd, ocd, anxiety, depression, or in particular bipolar.

    I’m pretty sure I’m having more than my one or two diagnosis but can’t tell what it is

    Thanks for any help, but I will seek an evaluation and get some help to confirm. #Bipolar #Diagnosis #Unsure #confused #struggling #Trying #Crying #panic #Doctor #Psychiatrist #Hope #help #Depression #Anxiety #MightyTogether

    6 reactions 2 comments
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    I started an Anxiety Journey YouTube Channel. Would mean a lot to get a little support! I’m so nervous !

    Hi there I usually post quotes on a mental health friendly supportive Instagram account, occasionally I journal or blog very rarely on blogs I’ve tried before, but I’ve never ever been brave enough to show my face and actually try a YouTube account D: and not be more anonymous behind the screen supporting. I would really appreciate any love or opinions before I risk getting hate comments or trolls with mental health stigma haha > mental health advocate than 😅😂🤣 people actually see it. But I would love to be able to help someone out there not feel so alone in their struggles or offer hope if they are just beginning their journey or could use some kind words/ experiences

    If anyone could give me a bit of a boost 😂 so I don’t freak out or overthink the fact I actually did this and made it public and it could actually become something meaningful, I appreciate it! But if not :) I’ll do my best to do it myself, thanks! I tried to be brave and just do it instead of only think about it as a new hobby/ outlet.

    My YouTube channel is:

    My Anxiety Journey

    Or was thinking

    Inside My Anxiety Journey, since it’ll be pretty personal ^^ and genuine/ raw :p at times telling my experiences or what it’s like struggling with an invisible illness, physical/ mental.

    Thanks!

    Appreciate any love
    I feel so nervous and embarassed. But actually proud I had the guts to do it D: though I was so back and forth about it.

    Hope I’ll stick to it whether I receive good feedback or not, to actually make a meaningful difference and get more courage to do other things like this with advocacy groups or opportunities.

    youtube.com/@laurao2107

    PS the 3 views are probably me 😅😂 overthinking and analyzing it too much but trying not too haha 😛 😆. I’m a work in progress lmfao 🤣 lol.

    A really big deal to me, because I’m perfectly fine being open about my experiences and trying to help or relate to others and support them too, but not used to putting it on the internet like that with my face D: and fear the stigma or openness about it it’s so risky hehe but worth it :) in a way. So I hope it’ll be the start of something new and good. Feel free to share if you have any blogs, YouTube accounts or any fun hobbies/ outlets too ! :)

    Also** I’m not posting to promote it, hope it’s allowed here, just needed a little love or support so I don’t back out on my idea 😅😅🥺😭😿💡💖😊😛😆😆😆 because I feel so alone in my experiences sometimes, and don’t want others to feel like that too.

    And be alone struggling.

    #Anxiety #Support #help #nervous # anxiousbuthappy #anyfeedback #Youtube #New #youtubeaccount #Vlog #Blog #Trying #MentalHealth #Love #Support #supportneeded #ThankYou ! #tryingtobebrave #TheMighty #Community #thanks #appreciateit #Depression #OCD #physicalhealth #MentalHealth #Hobby #Outlet #tryingtofacefears #Phobia #PublicSpeaking #post #Posting #courage #shy #tryingtobebrave #somethingnew #newaccount #youtubeaccount #youtubechannel

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    January is 10 Days In!

    Hello Everyone.
    Welcome to another episode of #WhatOnEarthIsHappening ! 🤣

    My emotions nose dived today like as if I was flying in an air plane circus show. #emotional time periods are not the best times, but they can be #Valuable when we have #Anxiety . I started to #think about all of these things that I have experienced so far since my father had died in March 2022.

    When my #Dad passed away... I lost my favorite pain in the @$$. I was his favorite too. I #Love and #MISS my Dad so much. #Death is not an easy thing to #handle . But while I was #dealing with the #Lose of my Dad, I had them lost my job right after coming down with a terrible #illness .

    It was a nightmare for me how I #lost my #Job and my #daddy all in such a short time span. I haven't found another job since because I have not mentally been #prepared for #MentalHealth is something that needed to be worked on as I am still #grieving over my father and my job.

    So... Here I am... #RidingTheWaves that come in and out in my mind. Sometimes I just need to #RollWithIt and do what I need to do in the best way I can,.. even if it isn't my usual best. #Trying is better than #denying and #Procrastinating .

    I must start small.
    If I want a #Job ... I should try a small part time job somewhere. Maybe a retail job.. but.. even #Retail can be #stressful these days. It's getting #worse now that #AnxietyDisorder is getting stronger or more intense with me. But I will do my #best to #KeepWalking onward.

    Do you have any words of encouragement for me?

    #BipolarDisorder
    #AnxietyDisorder
    #PanicDisorder
    #Parentloss
    #Jobloss
    #PTSD
    #PMDD
    #strength

    9 reactions 2 comments
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    I don’t have many friends and I’m really lonely I used to message my partner all the time and I guess became codependent would anyone be my friend?

    Hi sorry I’m going through a tough time everything in life is wrong right now and I’m just trying to survive and start from zero again. Would anyone be ok being friends or checking in on each other from time to time ? DM Chat or comments ? Thank you if you don’t mind, I’m really struggling and need to reach out for help,

    Gonna do my best to check out counselling if free or something I could afford as I’m unemployed and struggle to keep a job. Thank you for any kind words or anyone who doesn’t mind checking on each other everyone now and then. It would mean a lot during this hard time. Thank you everyone, and any help really means so much. #Selflove #Trying #Pain #inpain #Crisis #Tryinghard #hurt #anger #disappoinent #Unexpected #breakup #notcopingwell #ThankYou #lonely #friend #praying #hopeallworksout #ThankYou #reminders #Anxiety #Trying #future #Fear #Pain #Depression #help #self -help #needtobestrong #counselling #reachout #cheerup #DistractMe #needafriend

    19 reactions 10 comments
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    Just had a really bad break up could you distract me or cheer me up with pet pictures or quotes?

    Sorry I just had a complete blindsided break up of someone I really loved and thought was going to end up with. Could anyone comment anything that may distract me from this. I can’t stop crying, but they don’t care for me anymore so I don’t want to cry when they have turned cold, just want to forget and focus on something else and remember it’s their loss too, if it’s not mean to be it’s not meant to be and I’ll be strong and just as great with or without them even when it doesn’t feel like it. Thanks for the distraction #breakup #help #sad #devasted #Trying #Comment #cheerup #MentalHealth #sad #cold #theychanged #360 #ThankYou #petpictures #Memes #ThankYou

    5 reactions 5 comments