tootired

It's my birthday on 3rd Feb and normally I loathe them because it's kinda like a reminder of my loneliness and the time I'm losing in my battle with anxiety and depression. Does anyone have any inexpensive, less travel (lockdown), people friendly (I live with my mom and brother), not-locked-in-my-room-all-day-but-still-bearable way to celebrate it? If I was living alone I might have just taken a leave from work and been at home but it isn't an option now. All ideas are welcome.

PS: my parents have also asked what I want as a gift, and my mind is totally blank. Any ideas for this too are welcome.

#birthdaywithchronicillness #Depression #Anxiety #tootired #GiftGuide

I’m quite used to not sleeping well. Between the SLE, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid and osteoarthritis it’s common to have some sleep difficulties. In my house it’s a challenge to sleep anywhere near my husband because his night terrors has him punching, kicking and otherwise lashing out physically and verbally. I’ve learned to build a wall of pillows and blankets for my physical protection but my best defense is vigilance so mostly I try to sleep once my husband wakes up and goes down to our living room which means my normal sleeping hours are between 8a- 12 noon or later if I’m lucky.
But this past week is crazy! I have no idea how I am still awake. The last decent quantity of sleep I got was on Sunday. It’s now Friday and I have not slept more than an hour at a time since then. I’ll put on a tv show which generally allows me to doze off missing parts of the show when I want to be awake. That’s not working. Reading isn’t working. Taking medications I have since I was in a car accident last month for pain and muscle relaxers usually knock me out. Nothing. I may doze off and miss at most 15-30 minutes of a show so I know I actually dozed off. That is with the volume very low as a white noise. That’s how I normally sleep unless bothered by pain. I have no idea what to do. I’ve gotten up, did my hair, read until I thought I was ready for my eyes to close which they never did.
I should also mention this is a very stressful time for me as my husband and I have just lost our insurance that was provided by his employer since he’s been retired for so many years now. The responsibility of finding Medigap coverage for us fell on me. It was not easy and I’m not sure if we are covered for prescriptions since I can’t get a response from the new insurance carrier.
Any ideas other than to just hope for complete and utter exhaustion to allow me to finally rest? #Insomnia #tootired #needsleep #Bedbattleground #Stressstealssleep

I'm tired of people telling me I'm too young for the pain. Of people not listening, of my doctor speaking to my mom instead of me. I'm tired of feeling tired. I'm tired of the constant pain. #ChronicDailyHeadache #tootired #tooyoung

For years, I have been unable to function in the morning. I can get a full night's "rest" per CPAP numbers and still can't function. I answer the phone in my sleep and have made appointments. I get chastised if I insist on a later appointment, or if I can't it later, I'm likely to be late or not show up because it's not safe for me to drive. I'm sleepy all day, and yet if I give in and nap, I'm more groggy and it's a vicious cycle. I'm told that since I don't consistently fall asleep in the testing, it's not narcolepsy. #Narcolepsy #tootired #SleepApnea #notlazy #fedup

#exhaustedfromabuse
#tiredfromcptsd
#tootired

Because I hide everything to just survive, I feel like a fake... I'm not sure who my authentic self it #toomuch #tootired
#CheckInWithMe