willitend

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Well, I can suggest that I'm a lucky person

How have you been? I hope you're doing well🖤. If you're as lucky as I am, please share your experience so I don't feel so lonely. I know it's pretty selfish , but isn't it funny how life is making fun of us? 🙃

first the overdose is not strong enough to kill me, but strong enough to deprive me of sleep and appetite for two days,then a sudden horrible squeezing pain in the chest, which passes and comes over and over again . The pain is strong enough to make me muffle my cry. Me, a person who can tolerate the pain from a pancreatitis attack? And now I'm sick.
will life surprise me in the coming days?
#LuckyMe #Luckyyou #WonderfulJustWonderful #willitend #howareyou

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Is It Over?

As a senior in college, I am currently trying to cope with the fact that I am losing out on so many memories. As a senior, I am trying to come to terms with the possibility of not getting to walk across the stage to receive my diploma. All my friends that I didn't get to say goodbye to; all the professors who have made such an impact that I never got to thank. It's so hard to deal with right now amidst everything else.

As a student teacher, I am hopeful the closings don't last any longer. I've wanted to be a teacher for as long as I can remember and it's finally within reach. As a student teacher, I worry about my students now; for how many of them was school a safe place? For how many of my students, was their school lunch the only meal they got?

As a human being, I'm worried for those that fall in the high-risk groups. I'm hopeful that it doesn't last much longer. As a human being, I wish people would stop stockpiling and leave some for those who need it. As a human being, I just want the world to be back to the way it was.

Yes, it was far from perfect but the world we had was better than what we have now.

#Depression #CoronaVirus #willitend

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Will there ever be an end? How can I end it myself? # #personalitydisorder #Suicide #worthless #AloneWithThoughtsIShouldntHave

I am in a constant battle with myself, my thoughts, my feelings. I can't control my mind. If my bf doesn't show me the proper amount of attention, which I'm not sure what the proper amount is btw, I fall to pieces and swear he doesn't love me anymore. Did he ever love me to begin with? Am I just a game or a sick joke? Am I even worth living? I feel an uncontrollable urgeto self harm. I haven't done that since high school. Drugs took the place of self harm. I try and I try to make myself feel differently but it never works. Idk how to even carry on a day when I feel this magnitude of worthlessness. I want to be wanted, I want someone to miss me when I die. As of now I'm pretty sure no one would even notice if I killed myself, or if I just died. No one would care, no one would even think twice about it. I have no family, I have no friemds. I have nothing, noone, and not a single person in my corner. Death would just be easy at this point. Idk who or how I'd get buried?! The only thing that helps with these feelings are Xanax, lots of Xanax and unfortunately I don't have insurance so I'm up shit Creek without a paddle, just being drug along by the current in which ever way it sees fit. My bf caught me cutting yesterday and threw my razor out the front door. I just wanted to feel something different. I hadn't cut myself since high school but puttin the blade thru my skin was a relief feeling. it only lasted a sec B4 the blade was gone. We all live just to die. why can't I just hurry up and die!? #SuicidalThoughtsAndTendencies #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Selfharmrelapse #Cutting #whyisitsoHARD #Worthlessness #unwanted #unloved #nevermissed #willitend #BPDMom #helpme

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