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    Too many thoughts

    I just want to feel better #Manic #depressed #Selfharmrelapse

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    My mother hurts me, calling my swears and pinning me to the floor to scream in my face when I do something bad. My sister was never disciplined, inste

    ad encouraged to hurt me as a form of punishment. I know this sounds like some sort of Gacha Life movie on the internet, but it's real. My dad is a safe haven, where my sister is actually punished, but my parents divorced long ago, and I can only see him once a month. What do I do? My mom doesn't understand that I have anxiety and don't want to do lots of things, but forces me to social gatherings anyway, to punish me when we get home for my unwillingness to talk to people and embarrassing her. Please, any sort of solution is appreciated. #Selfharmrelapse #SuicideOnTheBrain


    what is wrong with me? #relapsed #Selfharm #Selfharmrelapse

    3 years self harm free and in one night 2 inches up my arm.... what the hell is wrong with me? why do I keep worrying the people I love? why do I feel the need to punish myself like this?!?!?! #Anxiety #Depression #Selfharm #Relapse


    ME #imimportant

    why don’t I get a kind #OnEdge I’m ready to do bad things but why tell here #Selfharmrelapse

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    Will there ever be an end? How can I end it myself? # #personalitydisorder #Suicide #worthless #AloneWithThoughtsIShouldntHave

    I am in a constant battle with myself, my thoughts, my feelings. I can't control my mind. If my bf doesn't show me the proper amount of attention, which I'm not sure what the proper amount is btw, I fall to pieces and swear he doesn't love me anymore. Did he ever love me to begin with? Am I just a game or a sick joke? Am I even worth living? I feel an uncontrollable urgeto self harm. I haven't done that since high school. Drugs took the place of self harm. I try and I try to make myself feel differently but it never works. Idk how to even carry on a day when I feel this magnitude of worthlessness. I want to be wanted, I want someone to miss me when I die. As of now I'm pretty sure no one would even notice if I killed myself, or if I just died. No one would care, no one would even think twice about it. I have no family, I have no friemds. I have nothing, noone, and not a single person in my corner. Death would just be easy at this point. Idk who or how I'd get buried?! The only thing that helps with these feelings are Xanax, lots of Xanax and unfortunately I don't have insurance so I'm up shit Creek without a paddle, just being drug along by the current in which ever way it sees fit. My bf caught me cutting yesterday and threw my razor out the front door. I just wanted to feel something different. I hadn't cut myself since high school but puttin the blade thru my skin was a relief feeling. it only lasted a sec B4 the blade was gone. We all live just to die. why can't I just hurry up and die!? #SuicidalThoughtsAndTendencies #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Selfharmrelapse #Cutting #whyisitsoHARD #Worthlessness #unwanted #unloved #nevermissed #willitend #BPDMom #helpme


    After three months, I relapsed #Selfharm #Cutting #Relapse #Selfharmrelapse

    Yesterday (9/10/19) was my 3 months clean from self harm but today I couldn’t hold it. I couldn’t fight the urges another day.

    I’m okay though. I’m safe. The cuts are clean and being taken care of. My therapist is aware. Recovery isn’t linear and relapse happens. Be kind to yourself everyone (and that goes for me too).

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