Lazy, Worthless Day. Sleep is my best friend!
My daughter woke up at 4Aam puking. So she and I are both home today. I went back to bed and slept until a little after 11. And that took everything to get up. Honestly if my daughter hadn't been home, I would have stayed in bed forever! I LOVE my bed. It's my most favorite place in the entire house. It comforts me so well and it's the one place that makes almost all the hurt, pain, doubt, anger, anxiety, thoughts all go away! At least while I'm sleeping anyway.
I LOVE sleep! Always have. I've never had a hard time sleeping (except for my darkest time last year)
I remember being in like the 9th grade when I first fell into a really dark depression. SLEEP, that's all I wanted. I remember being in Choir and all of a sudden becoming absolutely paralyzed. Numb. Couldn't move, couldn't talk. Nothing. It was like my soul had completely left my body and floated up and was watching my body. I remember my mother taking me to the Dr and saying, "I don't know what's wrong with her, please fix it, something's wrong" All I could do was curl up on the exam table and couldn't stop crying. After that all I remember is being in my room and sleeping for days and days and days! It brings me comfort now when I think back to that sleep. Weird huh? l remember when I finally did get up to shower, my hair was completely matted to my head.
I can usually fall asleep at the drop of a hat! It's the wanting to get up and start my day that's the hard part. Today is one of those days. I just want to sleep the day away!!
I got up because I thought surely my daughter would be up. It's after noon now and she's still asleep. I really want to go crawl back into bed!!!
#Depression #Anxiety #Depression #Worthlessness