youngadult

I’m at the age In life where BIG beautiful exciting things are suppose to happen.

Internships , big moves , Babies . College degrees, marriages, dream jobs, first houses , first “bought it yourself car”

Big, beautiful , life changing things

I’m in a phase of my life .. where 99% of the time a big life change means a health flare .. or health decrease . 😂😬🤦🏼‍♀️.
Or new medical equipment.. or perscription to help me with that flare or decrease 😂😅

And sometimes.. sometimes embarrassingly Enough.

I’ll scroll through social media world .. see these big beautiful life changing things.

And I’ll feel like I want to act like a defiant toddler . Kick and scream and yell .. “. It’s MY turn now... when will it be MY turn!”

( awful right )

I’m so happy that the people I love are getting these big beautiful life changing things.

But sometimes.. I feel like. .. once .. just once ... I’d like a “ life change “
that is big and beautiful.. not my typical .. sad .. and health / dream destroying .

But the other day .. as the big green monster of envy began to wrap its arms around me . I had to go back to a trick I learned way back when everyone was applying for college.
And I was scribbling funeral plans in a notebook. As my body slowly starved to death from an undiagnosable illness (. Which ended up being connective tissue disease caused Gastroparesis)

I had to take a deep breath and say .

“My day will come . “

And I belief it to be true.

Some days I litterally feel like I was just put on this earth to “ suffer well “

But I FIRMLY do believe that God does bless us all with “ Beautiful life changing things “ eventually .

And when that day comes .

to put it short.
I hope the ones I love will Be as excited with my successes
With the amount of power, enthusiasm , and love that they used to supportive through my trails

So if you have felt the way I do .

And you just feel like EVERYONE is getting “ big beautiful life changing things”

But you .

My only advice is .

Be incredibly stoked for the success of others .

Fawn over baby clothes
Drool over home decor
Help a friend study
Send a good luck gift for that all to important interview
Look at home after possible home that they show you online . .
( Even if you feel like your eyes are going to bleed If you stare at one more floor plan. )
Make the candy lei for the graduation.
Be the “hype friend “ during wedding planning .

Be the friend you would want to have .
Because if nothing else ..

One. Day.
Your day will come

#smileon🐷 #chronicillness #spoonie #lifethoughts #treatotherasyouwouldliketobetreated #chronicpain #yourdaywillcome #youngadult