youngadult

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    Your day will come ❤️ #MightyTogether

    I’m at the age In life where BIG beautiful exciting things are suppose to happen.

    Internships , big moves , Babies . College degrees, marriages, dream jobs, first houses , first “bought it yourself car”

    Big, beautiful , life changing things

    I’m in a phase of my life .. where 99% of the time a big life change means a health flare .. or health decrease . 😂😬🤦🏼‍♀️.
    Or new medical equipment.. or perscription to help me with that flare or decrease 😂😅

    And sometimes.. sometimes embarrassingly Enough.

    I’ll scroll through social media world .. see these big beautiful life changing things.

    And I’ll feel like I want to act like a defiant toddler . Kick and scream and yell .. “. It’s MY turn now... when will it be MY turn!”

    ( awful right )

    I’m so happy that the people I love are getting these big beautiful life changing things.

    But sometimes.. I feel like. .. once .. just once ... I’d like a “ life change “
    that is big and beautiful.. not my typical .. sad .. and health / dream destroying .

    But the other day .. as the big green monster of envy began to wrap its arms around me . I had to go back to a trick I learned way back when everyone was applying for college.
    And I was scribbling funeral plans in a notebook. As my body slowly starved to death from an undiagnosable illness (. Which ended up being connective tissue disease caused Gastroparesis)

    I had to take a deep breath and say .

    “My day will come . “

    And I belief it to be true.

    Some days I litterally feel like I was just put on this earth to “ suffer well “

    But I FIRMLY do believe that God does bless us all with “ Beautiful life changing things “ eventually .

    And when that day comes .

    to put it short.
    I hope the ones I love will Be as excited with my successes
    With the amount of power, enthusiasm , and love that they used to supportive through my trails

    So if you have felt the way I do .

    And you just feel like EVERYONE is getting “ big beautiful life changing things”

    But you .

    My only advice is .

    Be incredibly stoked for the success of others .

    Fawn over baby clothes
    Drool over home decor
    Help a friend study
    Send a good luck gift for that all to important interview
    Look at home after possible home that they show you online . .
    ( Even if you feel like your eyes are going to bleed If you stare at one more floor plan. )
    Make the candy lei for the graduation.
    Be the “hype friend “ during wedding planning .

    Be the friend you would want to have .
    Because if nothing else ..

    One. Day.
    Your day will come

    #smileon🐷 #chronicillness #spoonie #lifethoughts #treatotherasyouwouldliketobetreated #chronicpain #yourdaywillcome #youngadult

    Post

    3rd Semester

    Cannot. Just cannot. So tired of this shit.
    #youngadult #tired #krabbypatty

    Post

    Lost

    Walking aimlessly in the dark.

    Lost in my own, cold world.

    Not knowing the way out.

    Always ending up back where I started.

    All Alone.

    Searching for someone.

    Someone who can help me find myself.

    So that I can escape from this emotionless circle

    Surrounding my soul.

    Author's Note: Things tend to get worse before they get better... this poem was written when they got worse. I was a young adult (19/20) and I desperately needed help but went in all the wrong ways to ask for it. Depression can be such a soul crushing experience, especially when you are battling it alone against yourself in your mind. #Poetry #expressyourself #Depression #youngadult