I miss me
I am having trouble accepting that how I am now is “me” and the old me is a memory. I miss her. I am sad a lot. I get mad at myself. I miss driving. I miss being good at things. How do I embrace this new, and changing for the “worse”, me. My balance, eyesight, digestive system, muscles and hearing are slowly failing. Pain is just life. Sometimes I walk, sometimes I need a wheelchair or walker or cane…I feel like a fake because I’m so different at times. I have some great doctors, and they really are trying but want me to fit into a space they know. I don’t. It’s hard to get anyone to put all the pieces together because I have so many different body parts affected and specialists don’t usually talk to each other, even if they say they do.
I can remember “wishing” my life would just slow down because I was so very busy even though I loved being respected and needed.
Hummmmmm…I got my wish. I don’t make wishes anymore. #ChronicPain #Depression #MuscleDysfunction #balanceissues #WheelchairUsers #Cane