Brokenbrain

I need comfort #Depression #Anxiety #SuicidalThoughts #Brokenbrain #hurt #EmotionalHealth #helplesslyhoping

Thing's have not been going well, I'm so tired of feeling sad and anxious, my thoughts race, my emotions are all over the place, I don't know if it's my depression or anxiety acting up or both, I just want to feel happy and at peace, I just want a peaceful mind, I feel so alone, I need a friend that gets it. I don't know what to do, I feel so lost. #Depression #Anxiety#anxietysucks

People don’t die from suicide, they die from sadness. #abandoment #BPD #SuicidalThoughts #Brokenbrain

I was just diagnosed with a depression that I never knew I had. A depression I’ve had my whole life. When you don’t know any different, how do you know what you feel is a symptom of a mood disorder or just what you thought was normal? I just thought I was a pessimistic introvert prone to irritability, anxiety, hopelessness, anhedonia, and suicidal ideation with a hint of disillusionment. This has been me for so long, I don’t know who I am anymore. I have astigmatism. I see stars. I thought everyone saw stars. #Hopeforme #Ididntwanttoknow #whoami #Brokenbrain #denial #Fooledmyself #Lifewasted #Fooledeveryone #PerfectlyHiddenDepression #PersistentDepressiveDisorder

My meds generally work really well, but sometimes things happen that send me into a tailspin. Like the minor fender bender I was in on Sunday. I misjudged and sideswiped someone’s open car door at the grocery store. Bent their door back and messed up my passenger side.

Now, I can’t make myself get out of bed and I can’t seem to stop crying. Everyone tells me it was just an accident, but, in my head, I hear that I’m a giant screw-up that can’t do anything right and just costs the family money. I have these fleeting thoughts that they would be better off without me. I also think fleetingly about hurting myself.

But here’s the kicker. I can’t make myself get out of bed. I’m sitting here typing this, looking at a pile of laundry I need to fold and I just can’t make myself move. I’m stark raving terrified of screwing something else up. What If I break something else expensive? I know it’s not logical. I know my brain is malfunctioning. Somehow, knowing what’s wrong really just adds to the problem.

I’m tired, I’m broken and I just want this pain to stop. I’m not going to do anything though. I promised. I’m just so tired. Tired of feeling like this. Tired of trying and failing time after time. I just want to give up, take my ball and go home. #Depression #Anxiety #Brokenbrain

I am constantly self sabotaging myself. Started dating again after a long time and it is hell! In my mind the poor guy is lying, cheating, deceiving and just humouring me that he likes me. Outwardly I don’t show this at all but it’s destroying me. Today I didn’t hear from him all day and it turns out a friend of his died by suicide. I told him I’m here for him but no response. Once again I’m paranoid and the truth is, it has nothing to do with me! I want the thoughts to stop before I go insane! God please help me!!
#overthinking #depressionsucks #Brokenbrain

After trying every treatment I can think of for my occipital neuralgia, I’ve been thinking about my brain’s role in my pain. Nearly every treatment I’ve tried works great for about a month, then POOF it stops working. What is the significance of 30 days? Am I just tricking my brain? There’s an episode of the Netflix documentary “Afflicted” that focuses on the brain, and the possibility that pain or illness might be our brain’s fault. Maybe the pathways my brain used for pain are broken. Maybe my brain forgot what it’s like to not be in pain. I’ve been seeing a therapist (mental health practitioner) for this reason. There are a few treatments that helped longer than a month; chiropractor, and nortriptyline are the ones that come to mind. I’m about ready to try crystal healing and other similar alternative methods. Perhaps crystals heal people by healing the brain and in turn help with the pain. Things like meditation and yoga are difficult for me and my ADD. Although my desperation for relief have me considering ALL options. #Brain #mymindisbrokenbroken #Brokenbrain