caronavirus

With summer reaching a midway point many colleges and universities are trying to figure out a plan on how to proceed for the upcoming year. Trying to figure out what’s going to be the new normal. For many Ivey league schools and other colleges in the northern states the new normal is virtual. Lectures will be done in pajamas and kitchens are now libraries. However for colleges across the south it’s a different story. Most colleges are choosing to open normally with the new previsions of mask and ending the semester a week or two early. With Covid numbers reaching new highs what my new normal is possibly going to look like scares me. I go to a small liberal arts university and many people including myself get sick quite frequently with the usual colds, sinus infections and normal respiratory infections. The added possibility of contracting covid is terrifying. I never really saw cerebral palsy as a pre-existing that could put me at risk until I heard the stories of other black women with cp dying from the virus. Cp aside I know that I’m at a higher risk cause I usually get sick when a wave of illness hits campus. I have reached a point in school where I can’t just simply drop out or transfer. I feel like I’m having to choose between my education and my health and it sucks. I know if I feel this way I can only imagine how someone with condition or disability that sppresses their immune system feels
#CerebralPalsy #Disability #Ableism #Anxiety #College #caronavirus

I went to the walk-in 2 weeks ago with a sore throat and tightness in my chest... diagnosis: sinus infection. Treatment: antibiotics. Improvement: none. I then went to the ER last week with increased fever, trouble breathing etc... diagnosis: sisinusitis, maybe pneumonia. Treatment: more antibiotics. Improvement: none. After 2 weeks of trying to get tested for COVID-19, finally got a prescription referral from my old doctor. Went Tuesday morning. They said 24-48 hours for results. It's Friday night now and still nothing. My health has gotten progressively worse. Can't breathe, can't talk, aches like I've been tortured... but the ER will turn me away again if I go back. Anyone else having these problems? #COVID -19 #caronavirus

Im stuck on a unit where there are too many self-important people. Too many here who think social distancing is a joke right now, including at least one of the nurses.
Too many patients who are blind to the current state of the world. Blind to the fact that more and more people are dying because some think even social distancing is a joke.
If one person on this unit gets sick, we are literally all going to get sick because the right precautions ate not being taken seriously. People see these precautions as an option they can refuse. Its not. It shouldn't be. Their decision not to doesn't affect just them, it affects us all.
I wish I could force these other patients to get this through their heads, but I can't, I hardly have the effort to take my own precautions seriously. I keep my distance seriously, I take washing my hands and not touching any surfaces as much as I can seriously. But I also have flaws, for example, I haven't showered in over a week. If I had the will or energy to take a shower I would, but right now im also struggling to even keep myself alive at all, and that in itself takes a lot of energy. But I also try to mostly keep myself in my room away from people.
Like I've said before,
Im not afraid to get this virus and die.
Im afraid to get this virus and live.
It may end up being just like a common cold for me, it may not, but I have chronic pain and chronic illness... a common cold for anyone with chronic issues is at minimum 10×'s worse then it would be for the average person without.
I see this virus as the huge threat that it is to humans.
It's scary.
I have wanted my decision to be resuscitated if anything were to happen to me ever, to be changed to a DNR since forever, but I'm always told im not in the right state of mind for them to feel ok enough to let me do that.
Its my life and I understand it's a big decision to make, but it's MINE to make and I should be allowed to at least have control over that. It's a decision I made a long time ago, thought about over and over and still my decision stands.
I don't want machines to keep me alive.
It's not natural.
Although many things aren't these days...
If im dying though, please, just let me die unless I beg you not to (which isn't likely).
If you saw my life's positives and negatives lost right now, you would understand a little more.

#caronavirus #convid19 #chronic#ChronicIllness #chronic#ChronicPain #Depression

honestly. im not.
I was in a huge downward spiral before this virus thing came along and in a very bad state when I realized recently just how bad it's gotten.
im still in hospital on a mental health unit. a 2-4 welk stay that has ended up being nearly 4 months so far.
part of me is thankful to be here without having to live in the outside world where people are going mad.
part of me wishes I had of taken my life last week instead of coming back here, only to be put on a form the next restricting my ability to even leave the unit even for a smoke.
I can hardly deal with the insanity of my life before this virus became such a big thing and now all I can think of is that I wish I wasn't alive for this. for anything anymore.
I was in a pretty dark place, now I'm beyond that, if its even possible.
I just want it all to go away.
I just want to completely isolate myself to my room where I don't have any sounds, noises or talking that just drives me farther to want to hurt myself. bad.
I know if I restrict my movement and eating though, my stomach issues will start to get worse. everything will get worse. the pain will be excruciating and I'll be lucky if I don't end up with another intestinal blockage.
but I also just want to stay in bed more then anything.
I'm just totally lost in every way right now.
I just want to let go of this world with the fingertip I'm already barely holding on to it with.

#MentalHealth #caronavirus #Isolation #Suicide
#ChronicIllness #ChronicPain