I am feeling very badly vulnerable and miserable something I never felt before.. No matter how many times I have faced the worst situations, I kept fighting for myself.. I always took a stand for myself... I always tried to stay strong for myself cause I just didn’t wanna give up on myself.. But,right now, I am not doing okay at all.. I feel so bad and helpless that I can't even explain.. I feel so disappointed and hopeless.. This time I am giving all the blames on myself cause I can't just pass on my own pains to others.. It’s just me.. There is so much pain in my heart right now... It’s overwhelming.. I don’t wanna share to anyone.. I have locked myself in my room and I am crying on myself.. There was a time when I used to feel bad for myself and felt how much I have suffered.. And, I always believed I deserve better.. But,this time,it’s not the same.. I am feeling guilty to all those amazing people I have met during the most vulnerable times of my life... They did so much for me.. I will be forever grateful to them.. But, it’s me who couldn’t just do anything for them.. I am feeling guilty.. Specially to my mother, she sacrificed so much for me.. She struggled so much just to support me.. She fought against the world just to protect me... But, I failed her and I feel so guilty for that.. I thought I will give my mother the justice and appreciations for everything she did for me.. I will prove everyone wrong... But, I just failed badly... I really wanna say sorry to her.. She deserves way someone better than me.. There was a time when I was badly suicidal but I never did.. Cause I could imagine my mother's helpless face.. She is the best.. And, I failed her...Also, I have some most amazing persons who helped me so much.. I feel I failed them all.. I feel like a loser.. This is just so much to bear and I can't.. I am blaming myself and I have no one to blame.. I just feel so miserable... I am having suicidal thoughts.. And, I don’t know... I don’t even know how to face my mother.. I feel so sorry for her... And, I just can't... My eyes are burning cause I have been crying the whole night.. Still,there is so much pains in my heart... And, I can't... #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SuicidalThoughts #CheckInWithMe






