Diabetes

Some things will happen no matter how hard you resist them.

The rain will fall.

The traffic will build.

People will disappoint you, confuse you, act how they want.

And when you’re depressed, it’s easy to take all of it personally.

To think it’s your fault.

To feel like life is against you.

But here’s the truth:

You don’t have to fight everything.

You don’t have to control the world to begin healing your own.

Let the rain fall.

Let people be who they are.

Let life do what it does.

And gently, quietly, focus on what you can change.

Your breath.

Your routine.

The way you speak to yourself.

Peace doesn’t come from controlling everything.

It comes from letting go of what you never needed to hold.

What’s one thing you're ready to stop fighting today?

Tell me below or just send a quiet heart if you're not ready to say it yet.

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post daily mental health videos about how I recovered from depression and suicide back when I was a teen. So if you or anyone you know is struggling with these issues and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions:

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

When you’re depressed, tomorrow can feel like both a threat and a promise.

You might spend the whole day waiting for it—

hoping tomorrow will be easier

or that you’ll finally feel better

or that you’ll be strong enough to try again.

But in all that waiting,

you miss the small chances to live today.

You miss the quiet wins.

The soft light.

The fact that you got out of bed.

The moment you chose not to give up.

You don’t have to wait for tomorrow to begin healing.

You don’t have to wait to feel okay

before you let this day matter.

Even if it’s messy.

Even if it’s small.

Even if all you did was survive it.

That counts.

What’s one thing you can do today—just for today—that reminds you you’re still here?

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post daily mental health videos about how I recovered from depression and suicide back when I was a teen. So if you or anyone you know is struggling with these issues and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions:

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

It is so easy to be caught off guard. Last Thursday should have been just another nice summer day. July 29th just another regular day. Although the week before I started feeling a sense of unnamed dread. Then I was reminded of an upcoming anniversary date.

Last Thursday was the 4th memorial of my father’s passing. I thought I had come to terms with it. Unfortunately there was still so much anger and resentment that came to the surface. This was in addition to the regular sadness of loss. Oddly enough the anger and resentment is not directed at my father. It is directed at my mother and 3 older siblings.

I have come to accept that my father is in a better place. Where he no longer has to fight the symptoms of diabetes and all the complications that came with it.

While my father had a grandiose narcissistic personality style. I have come to forgive that while he was alive he did not have the capacity to know how to show and express unconditional nurturing love. He was an emotionally broken man who managed to accomplish quite a bit in the 81 years he was on this earth. I’m still working on forgiving that he did not figure out how to heal enough to at least try learn healthier ways to love his wife of 59 years, 4 children and 2 grandchildren. I’m starting to focus on the more positive memories than the negative ones.

What I’m still so angry and resentful about is how the rest of my family of origin behaves, especially towards me. I did not receive even one direct message from my mother or 3 siblings to check in last Thursday or in the last 3 years. You see my family does not know how to communicate or show emotions in healthy ways. I had to see WhatsApp pictures of my mother, sister and 1 brother at my father’s grave site. You see they did not even think to communicate with me and let me know. Even in this I blame myself. It must be my fault since I did not go out of my way to find out if there was going to be anything specific going to take place. A part of me wanted to see if even one member of my family would take the initiative to reach out to me.

Seeing another example of how I’m always excluded within my family is the norm. If I do not always take the initiative I would never know what is going on. This was just another example of how I’m always made to feel separate and isolated. It took a friend to mention and validate that this behaviour is cruel continually excluded me in these physical and emotional ways.

I still need others to point out all the unhealthy behaviours my family of origin continually exhibit towards me. For what I take as normal behaviour others around me help to validate how unhealthy they really are. How their emotional abuse and neglect is unfairly cruel and unjust. Supporting me to understand I truly do not deserve this unjust treatment.

A few years ago I believed there was something so fundamentally wrong with me that I somehow deserved their continual criticisms and judgements. Deserving of their unprovoked attacks of my character. You see I have been the family scapegoat since the day I was born. I was continually gaslighted at every turn. I’m always in the wrong. I had been so conditioned to believe I was the common denominator to being always the problem. That I was the one who never made sense and did not know how to communicate. I’m too “sensitive”. That I continually blow things out of proportion and bringing up uncomfortable situations and emotions for no reason. Always trying to make everything about me because I’m so selfish and self absorbed. I was so convinced of their opinions of me that I doubted my own mind, I had almost no self-esteem, self-worth or self-confidence.

So that would mean my anger I still hold for the past 4 years is completely unwarranted. Feeling anger for being made to sit outside of the hospital by myself for 5 hours while my father was connected to tubes, was not a big deal. That for 3 days I watched my 2 brothers and 1 sister be allowed to see and talk to dad while he regained consciousness. That by day 4 when he passed I was not supposed to feel resentment and hurt for not being given the opportunity to say goodbye. I had to accept the conversation I had on Father’s Day was going to be the last 1 on 1 connection we had. At least I had made my peace during that conversation. I accepted that while he spoke about his legacy of his work, even though he had been retired for years at that point. I accepted he was not capable of seeing his wife of 59 years or his 4 children and 2 grandchildren were not part of his legacy. I could accept my father for his limited capacity to show and express love. I forgave him for only being able to be who he limited himself to be. It was not my fault for his limited capacity.

I’m learning my feelings are valid in spite of the rest of my family deny my perspective and lived experiences. It still takes others to validate that my feelings make sense based on how I’m unfairly treated by my family. I have come to understand when there is never any repair for each emotional wound they remain open to fester. I can say almost every single emotional wound from my family of origin has been left to fester since the day I was born. I only beginning to learned the complexity of being raised by emotionally immature parents. This has left me with so many festering wounds which have become so infected and extremely hard to heal. I have been struggling to figure out how to heal from decades worth of blood poisoning. How does one heal from so many wounds that had been left untreated and unattended for decades. By 56 it has become so complicated in figuring out how to treat and recover from these wounds. That there is not a straightforward treatment plan.

It is only because of my years of therapy. My determination to keep going inspite of my latest diagnoses of #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder #ptsd #majordepressivedisorder #dysthymia #anxiety #adhd #autism #highlysensoryperson . The clarity I have gained with understanding my diagnoses has finally allowed me to begin to heal.

I’m learning to become my own loving parent. Taking on the responsibility that I have to find it within me to heal. Internal Family Systems (IFS) has helped me find the tools to accept all my parts. I’m not perfect, I’m human and deserve to be seen, heard and understood. I can learn to to see hear and understand myself first and foremost. I also now know I love myself enough to only look to, and surround myself with people who see, hear and understand me. Right now none of those people are my mother, sister or brothers.

I can love my family but hate their behaviour. I have even come to terms of the grief and physical loss of my father. I’m now learning to grieve and accept the emotional loss of what will never be. My mother, sister and brothers do not have the capacity to express unconditional love. I have proven to myself I have the capacity to learn to love myself. That I’m worthy to only surround myself with those who prove in their actions and behaviour that they love me and have my back no matter what. I will no longer waste my energy begging to be seen, heard and understood. I’m worthy to just be. To live by my own values and principles.

When you're depressed, emotions can feel like your identity.

Sadness starts to sound like truth.

Hopelessness feels like who you are.

Pain becomes the only thing that seems real.

But emotions are not facts.

They are experiences.

They move through you like weather.

So feel it.

Let the sadness rise.

Let the anger burn.

Let the grief ache.

But don’t become it.

You are not your pain.

You are the one who feels it—

and the one who can let it go.

What’s one feeling you’ve been carrying lately that you’re ready to release?

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post daily mental health videos about how I recovered from depression and suicide back when I was a teen. So if you or anyone you know is struggling with these issues and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions:

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

Letting go is one of the hardest things to do when you’re depressed.

You hold on to thoughts that hurt you.
You replay conversations, regrets, and what-ifs.
You carry old shame like it’s a part of who you are.

Sometimes the pain becomes part of your identity.
It feels safer to cling to the familiar than to face the unknown without it.

But holding on is heavy.
And the truth is, some of the things you’re holding were never meant to stay.

You don’t have to carry every mistake.
You don’t have to keep proving how broken you are.
You don’t have to keep punishing yourself just because you’ve been hurt.

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting.
It means loosening your grip on what’s hurting you.
So you can breathe again.
So you can heal.

It might not happen all at once.
But maybe you can start with one thought.
One memory.
One moment of kindness toward yourself.

What’s something you’re ready to let go of, even if it’s just for today?

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post daily mental health videos about how I recovered from depression and suicide back when I was a teen. So if you or anyone you know is struggling with these issues and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions:

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

When you’re deep in depression, life doesn’t feel like a blessing.

It feels like a burden.

Every day feels heavy.

Every thought feels like a weight.

But here’s something you might not have been told.

You don’t have to feel grateful to begin acting like you are.

Sometimes the smallest shift in how you show up changes everything.

You take one mindful breath.

You step outside and feel the air.

You choose to look at something—anything—with curiosity instead of pain.

And in that small moment, something inside begins to soften.

You are not faking it.

You are practicing aliveness.

And that practice is part of recovery.

When you start treating life like it matters—even just a little—it slowly starts to feel like it does.

You don’t have to wait for joy to come to you.

Sometimes, you lead the way.

What’s one small way you can act like life is a blessing today?

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post daily mental health videos about how I recovered from depression and suicide back when I was a teen. So if you or anyone you know is struggling with these issues and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhagen

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

Sometimes it feels like the world is shutting you out...

The relationship ends.

The opportunity disappears.

The people you trusted walk away.

And when you're in the middle of depression, every closed door feels personal. Like more proof that you're not enough. Like the universe is punishing you.

But what if that door closed because it was leading you somewhere you didn’t belong? What if that thing you were desperate to hold onto was never worthy of who you’re becoming?

You are allowed to stop fighting for what is trying to leave.

You are allowed to stop knocking.

You are allowed to trust that what didn’t open was never meant to carry you forward.

You haven’t been abandoned. You’re being redirected.

And where you're headed is worth far more than what you’ve left behind.

Has a closed door ever led you somewhere better?

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post daily mental health videos about how I recovered from depression and suicide back when I was a teen. So if you or anyone you know is struggling with these issues and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions.

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhage

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether