distraught

I've always struggled with depression my entire life. It's been even more so the last few years, mainly caused by chronic pain from being involved in 2 motor vehicle accidents in a 3 week period. I've had numerous in hospital stays over it. I just recently had to have a total neck fusion 8 weeks ago. During this time I was separated from my Husband. Honestly, it was getting easier for me to be alone with my dog. Now I gave up my cute home thinking my Husband and I were trying to work things out and save our 20 year marriage. Well, I was so wrong. He has been lying the whole 2 weeks I've been living now. He confessed to me he had been using dope. if I had known that two weeks ago , I would have not done this move. Now I cant work which I always have due to my surgery recovery. I seriously think I'm about to be homeless. This all hurts me. I cant believe I let down my guard! #distraught #angry .
Sorry I just didn't know where else to vent.

The other day we had a mishap and one of the earrings my mother left to me before she passed was lost. They were my most cherished I am absolutely heartbroken one has been lost. I have furiously taken apart the entire area an absurd amount of times and am now asking for some prayers, even positive energy or good will. I just can not wrap my head around why this has occurred. I understand objects do not replace people, but I sure felt good wearing that earring of hers. ❤️. Thank you for your thoughts 🙏🏻. Peace.

#CheckInWithMe It’s been a year since I lost 2 sisters 2 months apart. I have #bipolar and #borderline. At the time, I rushed around trying to be strong for their kids. I cried for maybe 2 days, but not really #grief crying. Just #sad.
Now a year later I’m #devastated . My heart is #breaking I’m not just sad I’m #distraught with #Grief . I’m unable to function and just #sob with agony #grieving 
I wonder if my #Borderline has anything to do with making my #Grief so incredibly #intense ?  I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how long #grieving should last or if this is really #grieving Is it my #Borderline playing up It can’t be there’s no reason. I #desperately want to feel some kind of happiness. Even 5 minutes. But inside it feels like I’m slowly #dying .

Please someone help me.