desperately

I am totally frustrated and worn out, I have gone to my Psychologyst asking for help, I have been on treatment with him since 2005, all I get is drugs. I am so tired of... I want to get to the root of my trauma which is much,
C- ptds since I was a little girl.
#War #ChildAbuse #abondonment #Rape#loseofmyfather
#almostdeadlycarcrash
#spousalabuse ; #mental #verbal;
#religious ; rape by his friend;
#caretakerofothers ; #watchin #watching death many times over.

I left my husband with a suitcase,
I've been living mostly out of my car, my brother's couch for the last eighth years... While he has a wonderful life with a family and Hardley Davidsons.

I have fought to stay sane, but at this point I feel I am loosing my battle... I asked my Dr. To please send me to a treatment center .
The problem is I have Medicare as Primary. And Tricary for life as seecondary.... This week has been hell for me, the only place Medicare will approve is
"Wilmington treatment Center"
I have heard some bad things about this place...
Has anyone been there, or knows of someone that has been there?

Or knows of a place in the Raleigh area that they would recommend.? Please I am begging. # #desperately #searching

#CheckInWithMe It’s been a year since I lost 2 sisters 2 months apart. I have #bipolar and #borderline. At the time, I rushed around trying to be strong for their kids. I cried for maybe 2 days, but not really #grief crying. Just #sad.
Now a year later I’m #devastated . My heart is #breaking I’m not just sad I’m #distraught with #Grief . I’m unable to function and just #sob with agony #grieving 
I wonder if my #Borderline has anything to do with making my #Grief so incredibly #intense ?  I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how long #grieving should last or if this is really #grieving Is it my #Borderline playing up It can’t be there’s no reason. I #desperately want to feel some kind of happiness. Even 5 minutes. But inside it feels like I’m slowly #dying .

Please someone help me.