Just checking in. Thanks for the feedback on forgiveness. I am writing today to break a habit. I tend to withdraw from others after sharing some of my background. I don’t fully grasp the reason for this. However, I caught myself refraining from sharing on #TheMighty . So, I am writing today.
I hope you all are doing well.👍
8 reactions •
4 comments
I'm in #Love with my ex-boyfriend. We decided that we should break up (yes, it was mutual) because we both need things like, hugs and kisses, and we can't get those right now due to #COVID . But it's killing me. I talked to him about how he felt about it and he said that he still loves me but he can't mentally have me right now. I understand where he's coming from, for sure....but it doesn't make it #hurt any less. He's the guy of dreams and more, but I can't have him and it's heartbreaking. He was always able to make me happy and laugh no matter what else was going on. So...when we broke up, I skipped dinner and decided that all I wanted was to be in the comfort of someone else's arms. I ended up watching his favorite movie (The Outsiders) 3 times through. All I wanted was to be held and loved, so when I couldn't have it...I felt like I was breaking if I'm being completely honest here. He's the man of my dreams but all we can be is friends. He says that someday we'll be together again, and I hope he's right. I don't know what to do with all of these #feelings except shove them away. I don't know how to love someone as much as I love him, but then not be able to show them the love. I found a song called "Wish you were here" by Avril Lavigne.....it almost perfectly captures how I feel.
" I can be tough, I can be strong
But with you, it's not like that at all
There's a girl that gives a shit
Behind this wall, you just walk through it
And I remember all those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now, I wish you were here
All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it, just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now, I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damn
What I'd do to have you here, here, here
I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damn
What I'd do to have you near, near, near
I wish you were here
I love the way you are
It's who I am, don't have to try hard
We always say, say it like it is
And the truth is that I really miss
All those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now, I wish you were here
All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about, it just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now, I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damn
What I'd do to have you here, here, here
I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damn
What I'd do to have you near, near, near
I wish you were here
No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go, let go, oh, oh
No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go
Let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go
Damn, damn, damn
What I'd do to have you here, here, here
I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damn
What I'd do to have you near, near, near
I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damn
What I'd do to have you near, near,
I wish you were here"
Today is the day I FINALLY pick up my #meds , It is in the midst of #breaking down you have a #Breakthrough and the #strength to #overcome challenges in your life.
So very tired and in pain much of the time lately. I am not sure why but it has taken all my energy. I know when I lose sleep the next day I am going to be basically useless. My pain level has been between a 7 and 9 but going to the ER or dr is going to do absolutely nothing. The pain is #breaking me and I feel defeated. My new pain management dr has me doing exercises and basically taken me off most of the medication that abled me to function. This #opoidcrisis has taken away from many, including me that like with #ChronicPain . As a child I always had pains in my legs, my parents and drs said it was growing pains. Well I stopped growing about 40 years ago but the pain has not. I get depressed when I can't do as much as I would like to. People look at me and comment that I #lookfine . Well just because someone #looksfine doesn't always mean they are. It takes so much energy sometimes just to accomplish the smallest task. Thanks for letting me vent, I can come here and feel somewhat #normal again. Keep fighting the pain.
#CheckInWithMe It’s been a year since I lost 2 sisters 2 months apart. I have #bipolar and #borderline. At the time, I rushed around trying to be strong for their kids. I cried for maybe 2 days, but not really #grief crying. Just #sad.
Now a year later I’m #devastated . My heart is #breaking I’m not just sad I’m #distraught with #Grief . I’m unable to function and just #sob with agony #grieving
I wonder if my #Borderline has anything to do with making my #Grief so incredibly #intense ? I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how long #grieving should last or if this is really #grieving Is it my #Borderline playing up It can’t be there’s no reason. I #desperately want to feel some kind of happiness. Even 5 minutes. But inside it feels like I’m slowly #dying .
Please someone help me.
Latest
