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    So bored…

    I need to vent, otherwise my brain is gonna explode. Everything is fine-ish at my new job however, my area isn’t that big and I don’t have anywhere near enough to keep my busy. I’m literally moving so slow to try and get time to move but it doesn’t. I’ve gone to my coworkers and asked for suggestions on how to half less free time and they don’t really have an answer. This sucks. I really wanna make this new job work but this downtime is killing me.

    I’m currently hiding in a class room writing this, because of course they have cameras everywhere which only makes my paranoid and ibs bad so naturally that means I’m also using the bathroom a lot too.

    I’m so anxious…

    Anyway thanks for reading here’s a picture of my cat as a thank you.
    #Anxiety #anxious #ChronicDepression #Depression #Newjob #Paranoia


    Today I figured out what was controlling my life

    Today it was confirmed I had paranoia all my life. After 20 years of living in agony of the unknown demon, misery of the pain, going mad every now and then, god gave me my closure today. #BPD #Paranoia


    Easily Startled/Emotional Reactivity

    I know that they are both symptoms of #PTSD but they seem to be getting in the way recently. It's little things that startle me not to mention lesser known things like people being upset with me. When triggered I tend to react strongly (and sometimes hurt someone in the process). In DBT therapy I am learning to regulate my emotions but I feel like that goes out the window when I'm triggered. I was diagnosed with #PTSD in 2019 and I take meds for the nightmares but I don't think that does much for being easily startled and reacting strongly. Does anyone else struggle like this?

    #Trauma #PTSD #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors

    *Not to mention the paranoia that comes on sometimes if I'm really anxious. That just makes things worse. #Anxiety #Paranoia



    My anxiety induces paranoia. Does anyone else deal with this? #Paranoia #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety or is it just #Psychosis ?


    A question for my ptsd people

    Have you ever had someone trigger you intentionally to see how you react? Maybe this is just in my head. But I’m very reactive. So, for example, someone says something triggering, I flinch. And what I find is some people suddenly start saying related things more and more and more. And I’ll catch them watching me sometimes. And I think they are trying to see if my reaction is tied to their comments. I think they are curious for whatever reason.

    But it’s awful to experience. I don’t want attention brought to this. The more they do it the more amped up my nervous system is and the harder it is to be normal. And I know what they are doing. But at the same time I feel paranoid because would someone really do this? They are likely just having a normal discussion and the ptsd is causing my paranoia to kick in because I was triggered. #PTSD #Paranoia

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    Paranoid thoughts #Paranoia #MentalHealth #IntrusiveThoughts

    No need to panic but I experience suicidal thoughts every day js... #feelings I'm not life threatening side note


    #Paranoia #Borderline personality disorder

    I am trying to understand the occurrences I’ve been having. I feel as if people are constantly speaking badly about me and it’s becoming harder and harder to be in social situations.

    It’s stems from being immersed in actual occurrences.


    Anyone else deal with paranoia as a symptom of their anxiety? If so, how do you cope? #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Paranoia


    I once spent an entire summer cutting my front lawn with only scissors. The grass was knee high when my dad and I moved in, and we didn’t have a mower. People who came over to visit would make jokes or comments about how our house would look really nice if only we would cut the grass. I would get upset and embarrassed because with no mower and no money to buy one I felt my hands were tied and their remarks unhelpful. After a few of these visits and dwelling on them constantly because that’s what I do, l overthink everything, self loathing, berating myself, becoming so anxious, I become paranoid. Anyway, I found a pair of metal scissors and I went out and sat in the grass and started in one corner of the yard and by weeks end I had finally cut down all the tall grass, but the grass where I started was already beginning to grow tall again, so I would get up early the next morning and begin again. Everyday I did that for an entire summer. I also worked as a cleaner for a realtor who bought old homes and rehabilitated them for resale. I finally saved up enough money to buy a push mower. But as crazy as people found it and me to have cut my grass with scissors (none of them ever thought about helping me by coming over once a week to with cut my lawn or let me use their mower), I found something out about myself. I’m a problem solver. Regardless of what obstacles are in my path, or how crazy I can, and most likely will, make myself, I will solve the problem, eventually. #overthinker #OCD #Paranoia #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #stop !

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    Does anybody with schizo-affective disorder want to be friends/follow?? I don’t really have anyone that I know of who has it and I would like to talk and be each other’s support. Also if anyone has any tips for how to manage this disorder I would appreciate it. Kind of struggling tonight.

    Also if anyone else is up tonight and wants to talk that would be nice too! #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #schizoaffective #Schizophrenia #Paranoia