chronic migraines

Im really on edge. I've had so much happen to me health wise over the past 7 mos that my body is on hyper alert for another catastrophe to strike. Between breaking my kneecap and having kidney stones to having to have oral surgery to getting COVID, to migraines and dealing with occipital neuralgia, to discovering I'm going blind in my left eye, my normal attitude of handling bad things head on has dramatically changed. Wednesday i had some more dental work done and it threw me into a depression, wondering if I was ever going to break this cycle of health troubles. My daughter asked me to go over the other day to visit and told me the kids had been treated for lice last week. I panicked thinking I just couldn't handle it if I got lice on top of everything else! It's just lice and I acted like it was the end of the world! I'm a mass of anxiety! I wake up wondering what will befall me today. I'm going to use today to do some mindful exercises and maybe do some art if I can see, to relax a bit,baby myself. I hate this feeling of waiting for the next shoe to drop.

#Anxiety #BipolarDepression #Fibromyalgia #ChronicMigraines #OccipitalNeuralgia

Hi! I am looking for those who would like to connect further to be added support for each other. If you're interested, please message me. Below is my history and experience. Thank you!#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Trauma #Insomnia #Arthritis #ChronicMigraines #cervicogenic Headache #OccipitalNeuralgia #EmotionalAbuse #NarcissisticAbuse #SexualAssault

Hi friends,

First of all, I want to say thank you so much. I have been thinking through so many things the past few days. Posting on here the last few months has really opened my eyes to the way I was being treated.
Once I know it’s not me, I fight back.
I’ve posted reviews on Google for the agency I’ve been fighting with- one original review and then an updated one when they responded with their scripted response to “call the agency with any concerns”
I am posting more on my social media so I can tell people what I am experiencing and that I’m done with it. I’m not tolerating it anymore. I feel like it was a good step for me to take.
I met with the new agency yesterday and I’ll be doing an intake next week.
The draft of the story telling thing has been sent to me so I’m going to try to read that today.
I have been journaling- it’s so messy and chaotic. But I think I have been working things out in my head. I truly thought the things that were happening were because i was annoying or that I did something wrong to warrant that treatment. I honestly didn’t even realize that was how I was seeing it.
I have felt kind of okay for a stretch of time that has spanned hours rather than minutes and that has me hoping this time I can really see actual movement.
More to come, hopefully continuing on this upward trend 🤞🏼💗🥰
Thank you all so so so so so much for all of your support the past few months. I know I’m going to need it as I keep going; it’s reassuring to know it’s here. I hope others see this post and it encourages them to speak up too.
#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks #ChronicMigraines #DomesticAbuseSurvivors

It really feels like everyone has let me down lately.

My crisis isn’t taken seriously enough. No one is even letting me have the option of hoping my situation is going to improve.

I feel devastated and inhuman and hopeless and lost and scared and disappointed.

I want to give up. I don’t know how that looks.

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ChronicMigraines #DomesticAbuseSurvivors #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks

I don’t know what do anymore
I am actively in crisis and it didn’t have to be this way. I am mad. I have been advocating for myself for years. No one is listening and my needs are going unmet.
All I hear every day is that there are no options for me. Not because I don’t need them. But because I don’t meet criteria.
It’s really hard to accept.
I now have to fight an agency that is very clearly acting unethically (see story I posted a few days ago). I am so lost.
I am tired of hearing people tell me what “should” be happening. I know. I have been saying it for years. But people need to realize just because I “should” be getting help, it doesn’t mean that I am or will. Life doesn’t have to make sense. I wish I was still part of the club that believed it does.
There aren’t always solutions to problems when you’re facing them. That’s another thing people keep telling me- there are always solutions. But I’ve been in crisis for years; telling me there is a solution coming is unacceptable. Especially because the people who have told me this aren’t still involved in my case because they kind of just drifted off.
Even an agency is telling me my demands for housing are too high (literally me on repeat every day: I need a place that is safe. Ideally first floor apartment because of #ChronicVestibularMigraine #ChronicMigraines
Ideally a washer or a hook up in my living space because of #Agoraphobia and #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder which make it really hard to perform activities of daily living
Ideally central air because of #PanicAttacks
There is literally no one who helps me navigate my daily life.
This agency hasn’t even seen my medical records. How can they tell me I’m being too demanding? Is it that I’m too demanding or that you can’t find something that meets my medical needs? Cuz those are two totally different problems that should be handled in two different ways. One is a change I have control over and that I need to make, the other is a problem they need to help me navigate. I’m pretty sure it’s discriminatory if they don’t.
(They also haven’t even actually done much looking- there were exactly zero attempts made to find housing when I had my housing voucher, as noted in my file)
What do you do when you are spending all of your energy just trying to get services to start working on getting your most basic needs met?
#CheckInWithMe

I am so scared.

So I have been sharing a bit of what’s going on with this agency I have been getting services from. Or supposed to be.

The case management services have been abysmal at best. I have been through so many case managers who just don’t do anything. And then the agency makes it seem like it’s my fault.

I have a psychiatrist there and she has also said that what they are doing is inappropriate and negligent. She has been trying to work me up the chain of command for about a year.

I contacted the client right’s officer. He was initially helpful and supportive. Over the course of a week, he became more accusatory and pushed me off onto a different case manager. All of this happened right before Christmas and the big storm. I told them I would be unsheltered on Friday. They knew I was in crisis for the entire week leading up to me being displaced. They also have known I have been unquestionably unsafe for months.

I just found out that the client right’s officer is planning on showing up to my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow with two case managers that have been extremely unhelpful and that I do not feel safe with. They have also broken my trust by telling me they would do things and not following up. They didn’t even tell me this- they told my therapist. I would have had absolutely no idea had she not told me.

I am shaking. There is no way this can be ethical.

Fortunately, I have another agency helping me now but I cannot come to terms with this. It is causing this massive unsettledness with myself. I have been abused and put down and walked away from so many slights or problems. This feels like an attack on my value, worth, identity, reputation.

I also don’t know exactly what I’m planning on doing tomorrow at the appointment because I do want to show up (well- it’s over the phone). Since both my therapist and the other agency believe me and bave told me they will help me, I do feel a bit more control and I have a few ideas.

I’m curious if anyone else has experienced this?

#CheckInWithMe #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ChronicMigraines #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks #DomesticAbuseSurvivors

Hi! For those of you in the US who have stopped working and applied for disability, what was that process like? Not just the bureaucracy, but the internal process of accepting that you can’t work anymore? Did you try to switch jobs multiple times? What was the breaking point? I feel like I’m getting there…

Also, how do you live without income during the process of applying? Were your family and friends supportive?

Thanks in advance! #ChronicDepression #Disability #DisabilityBenefits #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ChronicMigraines #Fatigue