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Did I make the right choice?
Do you think I made the right decision? I ended a two year friendship with my friend (and ex), because I found it impossible to cope with him being in a relationship with someone else. The unrequited love I had for him and the jealousy I experienced, plus the feelings of unworthiness and stress of seeing him with someone else caused me a lot of depression and pain. I kept turning to addiction and eating disorder behaviors to cope. And then I thought to myself, "I don't want to deal with this." And decided to address the root cause of the pain, which was being around him. I felt like, well, it can only get more painful. I tried for a year to turn off my feelings for him (and couldn't), if his relationship goes any further I don't want to see it, and if I'm being really honest (though I'm working on this) I don't feel I can be happy for him. Chalk it up to my own failings or the BPD, but I'm working on that part with God. But either way, I decided to end it because being around him hurt, I couldn't see his relationship progress, it was leading me to self-destructive habits, my feelings for him were preventing me from having a healthy relationship of my own, and I kept beating myself up for being single while he's with someone else. We were also very codependent and emotionally enmeshed. Do you think I made the right choice?
#MentalHealth
#Addiction
#Anxiety
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Grief
#MajorDepressiveDisorder
#Selfharm
#Suicide
#MightyTogether
#CheckInWithMe
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