I'm scared that the symptoms of PTSD I'm experiencing is me over-exaggerating everything and if I go see someone about this they'll brush me off and tell me that I'm being silly over nothing. Has anyone else felt like this too? Embarrassed and ashamed that maybe someone else could have gone through this and come out completely fine but I came out a total mess? #Anxiety #PTSD #ashamed #Embarrassed
I don’t know where to start; I guess at the beginning. I remember as a child always feeling not as good, not as pretty, not smart enough, & ………. In 2007 my now ex husband and I were separated (my decision), he started hanging with a different crowd and got into things I didn’t want around my children. Two weeks of separation and I hadn’t heard from him, I actually thought but was going to be an easy process. Well I was wrong; he had followed me when I went to get groceries, without my knowledge. When I got to my car he grabbed me and 3.5 hours of hell insued. I got away; he went to prison for a number of charges. I was and have been in a prison of my own since. My family has fallen apart. In February of 2020 I tried to commit suicide. I have so many feelings, issues, symptoms; whatever you may call them. I don’t have insurance and I’m fairly new to my area; I can’t find mental health help that I can afford. I know I’m getting worse I can feel it. I will be 48 next month, I have three beautiful daughters, and two grandchildren and one on the way. I don’t want them to remember me this way; I don’t want to be this way. I had a cardiac arrest in 2016, was in a coma for 13 days, and the hospital for 28 days. The cardiologist asked me about mental health problems because of my age and he seemed to believe my mental health had something to do with my heart condition.? I live in northern Alabama, if someone could point me in the right direction to feel better it would be greatly appreciated. I’m sorry for the long post I’m just at a place where I don’t know where else to turn. #MentalHealth #mylegacy #Embarrassed
I get so embarrassed and ashamed at how little I can regulate my emotions.
Like I make a fool out of myself constantly, it makes me feel like a 24 year old toddler.
I walked to the gym today, only to be turned away at the door because the information on the website was wrong.
A staff member kindly let me know the pool was now closing as it was a bank holiday, he wasn't mean or anything. He was so polite and sweet about it.
And I nearly CRIED! How SILLY is that!
I nearly bloody cried.
Nearly burst into tears right then and there!
Because I just suddenly SO overwhelmed because I was so frustrated, I'd walked all the way there because the website said it would be open now I had to turn around and walk all the way back.
It's a mile walk each way so it's not even far, and it was lovely weather I had no business getting emotional the way I did.
But I got so upset I actually had to quickly walk away from that guy and sit on the grass for a couple minutes doing breathing exercises. I feel so embarrassed that I'm still behaving like this.
I feel like I have a logical brain, who understands that it's really no big deal and I'll just go tomorrow.
But no matter what my mentally ill brain always overpowers those thoughts and I was just so upset. I felt so annoyed and flustered and upset.
Then of course now I feel guilty, I was nearly really rude to that guy because I got to heated so quickly.
And for WHAT! Because the gym was closed?! I actually need to get a grip!
This is what I mean is that sometimes I feel like I have to treat myself like a toddler. I had to sit myself down, calm myself down, have a drink of water before I got back up and walked home.
I know adding guilt and shame isn't going to help me at all, but sometimes I just wish my brain could ignore it's impulses.
I just wish being aware of how I am was enough to stop it, but as I said I really nearly broke down in front of that man. I cried when I got home and honestly I'm tearing up writing this! Like hello! What's the point why it's my brain doing this to me!!!! It's the GYM it's not a big deal!!!!!! Can I just be normal for one bloody second please!!!!! I beg!!!!!
Why is it I come out of a manic feeling like I was some else felt like a 5 day sleepless binge. Now I’m home feeling so low and alone when I have people checking on me constantly and all I feel is embarrassment like I just want to be alone I don’t even want to answer my door or phone calls. I just want to sit here. I’m trying to convince myself to get up and finish a project I started before I went and decided to mess up again. Like why doesn’t this have to be a thing why isn’t that I can do anything myself. I don’t wanna feel like this. I just wish I had the strength to snap out of it. I don’t even wanna go to work because I don’t want people to see me at my low. I’m just a wreak that is so weak he can’t even control his mind. It just seems so much easier to just throw in the towel and quit fighting the voices in my head and forget all my responsibilities. It just doesn’t seem fair to have to sit and be depressed like this feeling like you don’t even deserve to have anyone because I’m pathetic and selfish and only think about myself I don’t care how I treat anyone else when I like this. What kind of person does that. I feel like that’s all I’m trying to do now is get attention l, but really is just don’t wanna feel like this and alone but at the same time that’s all I want. #Embarrassed #Depression #BipolarDisorder #Selfish #alone
So this is my first post, and can I just say thank you to The Mighty community for all the support I have seen on here??!! It has made me feel comfortable enough to do this myself. Let me start off by saying that I have been officially diagnosed with fibromyalgia as well as thyroid cancer, which is why I’m curious about this. So over the last week or so, I have noticed new symptoms such as the arches of my feet “locking up” first thing in the morning and if it is too cold. My hands are starting to get weaker now, yesterday it was hard to shift in my car, and I have been dropping things a lot more. Today I was trying to drain out a tubber ware and dropped it all over the floor shattering it. I feel defeated and embarrassed. I just want to know if anyone else has these issues and what they are doing for help? I already take medication for nerve pain and one for migraines, but I don’t want anymore prescription drugs unless REALLY needed. Thank you in advance! #ThyroidCancer #Fibromyaliga #Embarrassed
I realize that I’m addicted to a certain sin and I want to get away from it and I truly want to live for God again I don’t want to keep misbehaving I have confessed to the Lord that I’m addicted to physical intimacy and feel like I can’t live without it no that’s not the only reason why I want to be remarried but God allows it for procreation and pleasure I would not have to sin like this with watching pornography if would bring me my Godly wife now lol I love him very much but I’m definitely sexually precousesh I can’t help it it is who I am I feel as if I’m truly screwed here beyond his help and love I walked away from him and preceded to do whatever I wanted because he wouldn’t give me my wife back so I said screw you but I don’t feel like that anymore I wish I had never walked away from him so I could feel confident in my salvation
Sorry been,away too long. I had an extremely messed up OCD session weeks ago that kept me offline for 3 days as I was busy being a slave to my compulsions. Then I was too ashamed at what I had done, that I stayed away. And then after THAT, It became hard to come back cuz of all the time that had passed. My friends, (the friends I spoke to on here that leave me messages ) my friends, please forgive me.
I know we discuss serious issue so here but laughter is great medicine so have some medicine at my expense. Back in 2001 my teenage son said he was going to a friends house to “burn some cds”. I asked him where they were doing this “burning”. When he told me his friends bedroom I told my son how irresponsible to be playing with Fire, especially in a bedroom. My son looked at me in disbelief. Suddenly I was a dinosaur Dad.