Harm OCD

As someone who lives with harm OCD, I almost took my life because my brain was bullying me & torturing me with thoughts of hurting 2 people (who I still believe deserve it) and myself. I had to move to another states and voluntarily sign a paper saying I won’t own a firearm for 5 years minimum. It’s never appropriate to tell someone with PTSD or any trauma “don’t be so pessimistic”, or “don’t be so sad”. There’s a fundamental lack of understanding about mental illness and personality disorders, as well as Neurodivergent & spectrum of them. #PTSD #HarmOCD #Trauma #Toxicpositivity

I love having someone who understands my brain, but it's so hard sometimes too. I am on hour 5 of resisting compulsively texting her, after receiving a barrage of compulsive texts from her and two compulsive calls. She knew what was happening and was trying really hard to resist, and I think she was eventually successful. But I am still having wave after wave of what-ifs about her safety. Logically I know she's probably asleep, but of course that does nothing for the doubts. For hour one I just handwrote a journal entry to her, and I thought that did it, but the compulsion keeps coming back. I wonder if I should just throw myself fully into an exposure session and try to speed up the process of no longer feeling like trash, but it's so late and I should have been asleep an hour ago (dr appointment, office hours, and lab meeting tomorrow, good lord), so maybe I should just rawdog it until I fall asleep. When the thoughts are so bad that I keep involuntarily hyperventilating for short periods, I don't know if an exposure would help or hurt.

I have however come up with a fun strategy: pretending that her compulsive texts are actually attempts to type out whale vocalizations. It removes the focus from the content of the messages and makes it easier for me to resist reassuring her and instead do/say things that are actually helpful (which is sometimes doing nothing). It's hard when it's relationship OCD-related, like today, because I automatically want to take it seriously and personally, but the silliness of imagining that all those texts are just like OOOOOoooaaauauuuuUu whale noises does kind of help.

#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ERP #ROCD #copingstrategies #Sleep #HarmOCD #Relationships #Autism #CheckInWithMe

M y psychiatrist suggested I join a forum.. I have had ocd for years but I have a new one. Instead of images of hurting people I get thoughts.. they r in my own voice and I think things like ‘you want to kill this person or that’ or ‘I am evil’ and I open up a debate in my mind trying to convince myself I’m not. The difficult thing with this version of ocd is when I had images they instantly caused me anxiety and I knew I didn’t want to act on them.. I have been struggling with the thoughts as they are in my own thoughts and when I am not having the thought I am confident I don’t want to hurt anyone but when the harassment in my mind starts the lines feel blurry to me. I find it hard to convince myself that I don’t want to I start to think what if I do want to.. or the thought will say ‘I do want to’ and sometimes I think I do want to and I worry if I think it I might believe it and act on thought of harm.. or that the thoughts could be so strong they would change my general identity or value system. I read people with harm ocd say they know they don’t want to hurt people and that’s how I feel in the core of my heart and when the thoughts aren’t happening but when the thoughts come I find it hard to grasp that I don’t want to and part of me feels like I do want to. Has anyone had thoughts like this with ocd/pure o #OCD #PureO #Anxiety #pleasehelp #HarmOCD

OCD, a demon in my head,
Compelling me to check and dread.
Washing hands till they are raw,
Counting steps until I'm in awe.

It's a constant battle in my mind,
A never-ending loop that's unkind.
A prisoner to routines I must repeat,
Afraid of the consequences I might meet.

An obsession that's irrational,
A compulsion that's uncontrollable.
It's a vicious cycle that never ends,
A cycle that my mind defends.

But I won't let it consume me,
I'll fight back until I'm free.
I'll face my fears with all my might,
And conquer OCD, the demon in my sight.

So I'll take a deep breath and take a step,
And leave the OCD, my constant fret.
I'll break free from its vicious hold,
And live a life that's brave and bold.
_________________________________________
@instgram: Ocd hacks

#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #MentalHealth #ContaminationOCD #HarmOCD #LivingWithMeampMyOCD #OCDAwarenessWeek #RelationshipOCD #SexualOrientationOCD #SuicidalOCD

#OCD #MentalHealth #SexualOrientationOCD #HarmOCD #SuicidalOCD #on #OCD #B

Here you can find my article on screenshot

which can be found here!

The day my brain broke: My OCD journey and the future of psy...

• Society still holds a warped perception of OCD, diminishing and devaluing those who suffer from it.

• I experienced obsessive thoughts involving sexual orientation and potential harm to self and others.

• Underwent CBT ERP therapy and ACT before finding Emma Garrick, the 'anxiety whisperer', who saved my life

• Psilocybin (found in magic mushrooms) is being trialled as an alternative treatment for OCD patients.

• I aim to deliver a TEDx Talk to raise awareness about the condition with insufficient research funding/coverage, about OCD

• Recovery from OCD is possible but not easy or linear.

Hi, I'm new here. I've had harm ocd for a few years. It comes and goes throughout the year. That's the only reason I haven't completely lost it. Because I know that it doesn't last forever. Maybe 2 months. Then it goes away and feel "normal" again. Until a trigger happens. Which is usually if I see on the news or on my phone that a mother has killed her children. Then I start thinking "what if I do that?" I have 3 kids. They are grown but 2 of the 3 still live at home while going to college. I adore them and we are all super close. So when I have these feelings, it makes me physically sick. And have intense guilt. I could never EVER tell them about these intrusive thoughts because they would be afraid of me!! And that breaks my heart. So I have all of these thoughts and emotions raging inside of me constantly; the thought of harming them, followed by disgust for feeling that way, followed by extreme guilt, followed by depression for feeling that way, followed by extreme panic because having all these thoughts makes me think I must be crazy. So I do what I can to get my mind off of it. And I feel ok for a minute. Until my daughters walk in the room or I just think about them. And it starts all over again. I can't stand it. And I feel SO effing alone because I cannot tell them how I'm feeling. It's like my own private hell that I live in until it subsides....

Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with intrusive thoughts? #HarmOCD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Anxiety #IntrusiveThoughts