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I know, I know… but here it is. Consider it.

We are two friends both with chronic and mental illness, who decided we wanted to bring to the forefront, and open up real conversations about, how we are coping with our diagnosises. We use humor, personal experiences and scientific studies with what can potentially help; has helped; and what we are willing to try to stay sane in the midst of what we’ve been saddled with by life.
We’re also doing this to try to end stigma, raise awareness as well as discourage toxic positivity and ableism to take more root in society.

We would love your support and also your input on what coping skills you all use- join the conversation! Follow us on instagram @ creative.copes and on your favorite listening platform and comment away! The more we talk, the more mainstream it will become.
#keeptalking #jointheconversation #jointhefight #RealTalk #EndTheStigma #Raiseawareness #MentalHealth #physicalhealth #Ableism #Toxicpositivity #copingstrategies #CopingTips #beyourownadvocate #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #ChronicMigraines #ChronicVestibularMigraine #Fibromyalgia #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #SocialAnxiety #Agoraphobia #Dysautonomia #CrohnsDisease #Endometriosis #RaynaudsPhenomenon #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #ChronicFatigue #OccipitalNeuralgia #wecandothis #LetsDoThis

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Toxic positivity

Pondering Toxic Positivity this morning and how many around me, friends and family, have responded with such when it comes to my #ChronicIllness . Is it a learned/generational/cultural/societal thing we grow into, I wonder? That the knee jerk responses are expressions where we encourage the avoidance of all negative emotions and deny, minimalize, invalidate authentic human emotions? (It can occur with oneself as well- that inner voice telling you “you should be grateful..” in situations where you’re upset. )
I can shrug it off because I am good with ‘It’s Okay to Not be Okay’, but I am curious now where it stems from..
#Toxicpositivity #Ableism #ChronicPain #MentalHealth #Anxiety #CopingTips #Fibromyalgia #ChronicFatigue #Agoraphobia #PanicDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Dysautonomia #chronicmigraine #Migraine

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More Crappy Mental Health Advice on the News!

I'm watching the news my boyfriend puts on every morning, and three of the news persons were talking about "toxic positivity" and what it is, but they didn't really say more than a sentence or two about it, and then the woman newscaster said she'd rather have positivity, because negative people are "toxic," and one of the guys agreed, saying, "Sometimes you just have to remind yourself to smile!" 🤬 🤬 🤬 🤬 🤬

Yes, too much negativity is toxic, but that's true of positivity, too. Who doesn't want to feel positive? One of the problems with calling people toxic--and I'm guilty of it, too--is that, although they may seem like they don't want help (or they have stopped believing they can be helped), it's based on many things and isn't fully a choice (IMO, based on what I've seen, heard, read, watched, experienced, etc.). It can be a combination of things, including various things in your body/health, the way you were raised, experiences, influences, beliefs, trauma, rewards, diet, exercise, your life situation, and more.

I'm just saying, you can't just choose to feel an emotion. You can change things, do things, try to find a new perspective, but that's not DIRECTLY choosing happiness, as they say. I will concede it's INDIRECTLY choosing to attempt to be happy (because you can't know if it'll work).


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How do you feel about gratitude practices? Yay or nay?

I'm curious about how you all feel about a daily gratitude practice? Does it help you to improve your mood or do you feel like it is just an extension of toxic positivity?

Sometimes I get annoyed by the idea that I have to find something to be grateful for. Some situations have no positives. Full stop. Ya I can distract with something else, but I think it's okay to feel those feelings when something truly awful happens. Forcing someone to look at the bright side feels minimizing, especially if you grew up in an environment where you weren't allowed to feel "negative emotions" like sadness, grief or anger.

That's just me, but I know plenty of others who journal daily and never miss the opportunity to find something to be grateful for.

If it works for you? Why?

If it doesn't? Why?

#Trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #Gratitude #Toxicpositivity


Allowing myself to finally breathe #MentalHealth #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #ChronicPain

For the past, as of the 13th, I'll have been working for a company that is at the moment getting too big for it's britches. I applied for a stylist position, with the "promise" of apprenticeship by January this year. I will refrain from using the name of the company I work for until Thursday for anonymity. I was left out of the mentoship/ apprenticeship program due to a clerical error on the company's part in a mass email sent to all salon assistants. I have a compromised immune system, ibs and ehlers-danlos in terms of physical disabilities and I will say that both stylists and management at my current job have nearly actively discriminated me because of these not to mention PTSD, and schizoaffective. Toxic positivity and unfortunately not much is ever said about this fact but in the beauty industry unless you're a woman or a white, straight man you will be paid less and deal with discrimination. I have never wanted to go to the worst job I've ever had more than working here and that job was working for a state agency. Harassment, hostile work environment, and too many triggers for someone is only recently going through trauma therapy, not to mention familial bonds that are forever changed because of certain parties habits, temperaments, and ability to inflict trauma. I've dealt with a range from alcoholism to being berated at to being low key emotional harassment complaint, in front of two managers who did nothing and said nothing in the past 10 months not to mention being downright ignored. I somehow wranglef my husband to come work at the same location ad me in another department "housekeeping" they have a fancier term for it but I won't use it for fear someone will know what salon and spa I'm talking about. He's been deemed racist by a 20 year old twig who would rather hide in a corner than do any job, and yes she is African American, however I must stress that my husband's best friends growing up were black. He doesn't see skin color or race. He literally didn't see this young woman hiding in a dark corner and she cried racist because of that. And management took her word over his in an instant. Again toxic positivity and toxic stress. We have of course found jobs in places that are much more positive along with not having to drive over 1,000 miles a week just to commute to work and home. So, to put in a nutshell for our mental health and our livelihood we will be working our last shift Thursday at the current employer and will be going to better things that will bring with it; finally, an emotional service dog for me who we're going to name Jeannie and finally furnishing a house we have been living in since December. We are so excited to finally be in happier places and environments along with knowing either people or clientele. This transition however has come at a cost, I am losing my dream of being in a high end salon, but at what price do you pay for mental health safety?? I'm certainly willing to do whatever it takes at this point. #MentalHealth #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Alcoholism #Toxicpositivity


I recently found out about this. My lexicon is full if these terms! I inadvertently caused may people to walk away not understanding why. Need help.

#Toxicpositivity #desperateforhelp

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What’s one reason why “staying positive” isn’t always possible?

When you live with a health condition or disability, seemingly harmless phrases like “keep your chin up” or “look on the bright side” can actually be invalidating.

That’s why we want to know the reasons why “staying positive” isn’t always possible for you as a way to remind others that it’s OK to not be OK sometimes (and we shouldn’t feel bad about it!). Let's meet each other with empathy and understanding today. 🤗

#MightyMinute #mondaymood #MondayThoughts #Toxicpositivity #ChronicIllness #Disability #RareDisease #ChronicPain #Autism #Parenting #Cancer #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Fibromyalgia #RheumatoidArthritis #Migraine #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Recovery

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Toxic Positivity..

... is a real thing. Did you know that? I did not. So I looked it up & this is what I found...

"The phrase toxic positivity is the culture of portraying yourself as being happy no matter what. You’re basically switched off to anything which might be viewed as negative. It’s also the idea of encouraging people to always see the bright side, and not open up about anything bad.."

"Good vibes only. Positive vibes. Just smile. You'll be fine.." are all prime examples of toxic personality.

To say I'm guilty of having this trait & letting it show some days is embarrassing. Like today, wearing a "Good Vibes Only" tee when I'm not in my greatest form. If you ask anyone who knows me, they will tell you I'm always so positive. Carefree personality. Encouraging loved ones/friends to do better. Always having a smile on my face, even when I'm hurting inside. Always cracking a joke. Laughter is my key!

Take this past wk for instance. I was mentally, emotionally & physically drained yet I'd show up to work with this smile on my face letting everyone know it's going to be a good day. I even put out statuses on facebook some mornings promoting for everyone to make the day a good one, don't let the day define you.. as I'm struggling inside with those demons. Some may call me a hypocrite, but in all honesty, I do it for those who are as well struggling & are searching/hoping to find those words of encouragement. Makes my day when I can help at least one person.

Toxic positivity, it's real! Some don't know what it is. Some don't realize they have it. & some are all about toxicity. It's not a bad thing yet few findfind it embarrassing. It's easy to break free from. Now that I know the definition, I've caught myself. When I'm in a dark place, I don't share much. I only vent in my journal. No judgements!

Toxic positivity, do you have it? Are you aware of it? What do you do to prevent it?

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Turtle in a Box #PTSD  #Fatigue  #Depression

Struggling with mental health while living under adverse conditions right now feel like being a turtle who is forced to live in a cardboard shoe box.

I've got some nice things with me -- maybe a seashell, some pebbles, the food and water that I need. In time, manage to arrange the trinkets around me in satisfactory way, but eventually, the box is always shaken, and everything inside is left in a disorderly array, including me.

I used to be able to put everything back as I wanted it again in short order, but inevitably, the box gets shaken again. The seashell cracks and gets fragmented. The pebbles are worn and less lustrous than before. Even my own shell is showing wear from all the jostling.

I lose interest in arranging the shoebox I live in any more. I am tired of being shaken and having everything I've worked so hard to arrange be upended again. Even being moved into a new, "better" shoebox doesn't help. I know that one will get shaken eventually too.

What I am trying to describe here is what it's like to try to put together an affirming way-of-life while living in a place that is totally unsuited for me to do so and which I am unable to escape. For me, specifically, this means living in China in COVID-19 times. Even a change of situation like moving to a newer, nicer apartment (the shoebox) does not address the actual source of the problem: That the things I need to thrive are not to be found here.

But for other people, this can mean living through a school, work, family, relational, or financial situation that is similarly unsuited for their health and growth.

People should not be expected to be able to endlessly adapt to anything and everything. An unwillingness to "find the silver lining" is not a personal or moral failing. #Toxicpositivity

We should support each other in endeavoring to find what truly suits us and reaching for it.