howifeel
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These LP lyrics are the emotional clothes I wear almost daily #howifeel #Anxiety #Dissociation #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #LinkinPark #SuicideAwareness #52SmallThings
Have a hard time expressing how I feel but these lyrics help me to feel heard. When I don’t know what’s going on with me and am just confused and/or I’m feeling alienated from reality and everyone...I find many songs from LP, like this one in particular, helps give me time to process my emotions a little clearer. And then I can regroup. And figure out what I need. LP is still my favorite band. Chester was candid about his own mental health struggles and talked openly about it and music helped him find his voice. I hadn’t known what his songs were really about until I became impaired by my own mental heath crises. Their songs definitely can be dark which is why it’s so relatable especially like how depression and other mental health disorders can make a lot of us feel at times.
It’s suicide awareness week, and I hope everyone who reads this knows that you’re never alone. Someone out there has been where you are (I have) and there IS someone that can remind you of what YOU MATTER. Just know even though you might not recognize it for yourself, you may have to really look for it, but it’s there. PURPOSE... it’s what makes You, YOU. Don’t forget YOU are incredibly LOVED. You may be hurting whether emotionally, mentally, or physically, or everything all at once, but that just means you’re human and YOU’RE WORTHY of LOVE and COMPASSION. Feelings change and they don’t define you. I wanted to write something hopeful, and I hope it comes through. Stay strong everyone!!!
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Emasculation
The way depression makes me feel is like I’m less of a man. Having issues with being less effective, withdrawn from life. Knowing that every minute lost to this is a minute not applied to improving my condition. Life doesn’t stop, bills don’t stop..I don’t want to go through life being defined by this. I don’t want to have this cloud come back over my life and cause damage I can’t recover from..Tired of this #Vent #Breathe #howifeel
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#todayfeeling #Empowereachother #bipolarlife #free #howifeel
Today I felt different than yesterday and the days before. I woke up feeling more confident within myself. I looked in the mirror and told myself how much I’ve changed. I’ve grown. I’ve survived. This is my warrior shield, I am my worrier shield if you will. I have to create creative ways for my mind and imagination part to feel connected somehow. The comparisons help me. Anyways, lately I have been feeling a little less confident. Maybe it’s because my job requires me to get dirty and sweaty and not express myself in anyway. I wear loose scrubs and a somewhat baggy shirt on me. I don’t ever feel confident when I’m at work and that is where I am 40+ hours of the week. Today, I did my makeup a little different, I put some nice clothes and jewelry and I felt so different...I felt happier to be myself and wear what made me happy and comfortable that day. I sometimes get so lost in my job that requires so much mental and physical strength to get through, and I come out crying and frustrated with myself because I’m neglecting my own self..I know I’m so many ways I could be confident but I’ve never seen it in me. Today, I went into my job to get some papers and my co-workers were like “wow, you look so good when you aren’t at work!” Or “wow, you look different when your not in your work clothes!” It made me remind myself that these people don’t even see that side of me ever. As little as I do myself.... #Confidenceneeded #Tryingtocope #Tryingtobehere
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Hello
Ive been sick for a week with the worst cold I've ever had. On top of that ive been depressed for a good 4 months. The depresion was wayy worse a month ago but i still feel it lingering with a side of hypomania. So much fun lol. Ive also was very parinoid for awhile, thinking everyone hated me, even my loving partner i thought had nothing to do with me.
. And in reality no one hated me and my partner still loves me very much. But i still have this hate within myself that ive held with me since i was really young. I was always told and by my grandma and mom "you look way prettier with makeup on!" So at age 10 i would wear a whole face of makeup everyday till i was 20 so i could be accepted by my family and society. After 20 i started wearing makeup less because I was dating this abusive guy and he kept me locked away for like 2 years so i didnt see any point in wearing makeup. Although he would make me wear some when we would have sex or if he would allow me to go outside. Anyway now im 24 and i found out a month ago i have eczama around my eyes and i have allergy bumps in my eye that wont go away... so wearing makeup isnt an option for me. I also cant affored natural makeup so im going to have to be makeupless and enjoy all my insecurity! Lol.... idk i feel like my lack of self esteem plays a big role in my depression and my moods. Also my grandma and mom didnt help me much eaither in that aspects.
Now that i havnt worn makeup ive been seeing how people do treat you differently. Alot of people have already said i look sick or like im on drugs.... which doesnt help my self esteem one bit! It keeps me feeling like i need to lock myself away from everyone. I also wear wigs because i had a breakdown last october and chopped all my hair off :( my hair is growing back and now its getting warmer so i havnt been wearing the wigs. But it makes me feel so ugly when i dont have makeup or wigs on. Makes me feel like i cant even go to the grocery store without feeling like im the ugliest person walking around.
I grew up beliving and being told that being beautiful is one of the most important things. I strived to be as beautiful as i could. I even did modeling for 5 years but it killed me because of the high demand to constantly be skinny and all the makeup i had to buy when i was broke as a joke.
Im glad i dont model anymore and i dont think ill ever dip my toes in that water again. Anyway idk my point to all this. This is just what was on my mind. As i lay here in my bed sick as can be and deppressed and kinda feeling iritable... this was all i could think about. I know inside im a beautiful person but i just wish i could belive that the outside me was also beautiful with out the wigs and makeup.
Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a beautiful day and a wonderful weekend. #Selfesteem #MoodDisorder #howifeel
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#howifeel
#howifeel
My husband is a comic book artist. One night after I tried to explain to him the way my depression makes me feel, he drew the image on this shirt for me. I could relate so much that I just wanted to share it with everyone who is like me.
nam01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com
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#howifeel
Having BPD for almost 20 years has been a rather difficult challenge. All the ups, downs, ins, outs, highs and lows. Everyday I must remain aware and be vigilant in regulating my symptoms, exhausting. My husband is an amazing support for me, he truly is my strength. In addition to being my best friend he is an incredible comic book artist, one night I went to him and described how I was feeling, the next day he showed me an image. He had drawn an image of what he felt I had depicted to him the night before. I loved the image so much, and it represents exactly how my BPD makes me feel, thought I would share it with you all.. http://tee.pub/lic/amYYnj7GqII
