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How Do I Tell My Therapist About My #CPTSD Response?

l've got pretty bad #CPTSD as
well as #bipolar2 .I recently
started seeing a new #Therapist
I don't believe that she, like most
therapists, are truly #Trauma
informed. I don't believe she
understands the depth of it.
When we started, I explained to
her very thoroughly that I've had
so many difficulties finding
therapists who can handle my"stuff" my trauma, because it'sjust so big and so much.I don't #Trust anyone, really. The Monday before last Monday was my last time seeing her. I texted to ask if we'd made anappointment for the followingweek, and we hadn't. She told me she'd text me times and dates. I didn't hear from her that day orthe next day. Or the next or the next. The next day still nothing. This went on for over 7 days. Q Nothing. Then she texted me this morning saying she and her family caught covid and she thanked me for "gracefully accepting" her late message. Also I'd told her before that communication is important and asked her to return my texts in general because she didn't reply to a couple of texts in the past. This is not okay. At all. I've been feeling shakey about our therapeutic relationship and stingy with my trust, now it's certain she is not the right fit. But how do I explain to her why going all that time with no communication was not okay? She's going to say "Well I was taking care of my family who had covid" She already did, actually. Which generally shuts that conversation down, because what kind of horrible person are you for not understanding when someone has covid? I believe this: If you chose to go into a certain career where people deeply depend on you- a heart surgeon, a therapist- it is your responsibility to set up precautions in case something like this happens. Have someone else in place just in case, have someone call your clients. And of course, "sometimes things happen that can't be helped" This was over 7 days . What if I went in for open heart surgery, was on the table opened up & ready to go, but no one could find the doctor, then he calls 7 hours later to say he has covid. He has no backup surgeon to call. And you're just left laying there on the operating table.. nobody knows what to do. How do I explain what having a THERAPIST ghost you for a week is so damaging, esp with CPTSD going to all kinds of emotional #flashback of the #neglect you suffered? I get the impression that she's not aware of what she got herself into. I wonder how many #suicides could have been prevented if the therapist had not waited a week to return the client's call. I'm not #suicidal right now, but I certainly have been in the past. I've told her I need therapy once a week . My therapist not calling me was not deadly for me- not like the Cardiac surgeon scenario. But it very well could have been. How do I explain to her that what she did is a big deal???
*I posted this earlier and got some "Just tell her," responses, which is an awful lot like "Why don't you just leave?" Only real and or helpful opinions/responses please!

2 reactions 3 comments

In need of a new therapist #MentalHealth #Therapist

Hi all, I’ve been in therapy for a while but had to stop when lost my job and didn’t have an insurance anymore. Paying out of pocket was costly for me. Now I have a new insurance that my old therapist does not accept and I’m hoping someone would be kind enough to refer me someone. I currently have Aetna and I’m in NY. There are way too many choices out there and it’s hard to find someone compatible. If you could recommend a good therapist, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you 🙏🏻

1 reaction

My therapist

Is it normal that throughout the day I can hear my therapist in my head saying “you are not a failure” or “I am so proud of you”. She, in the best dr/patient way, has been so supportive in ways that I didn’t get growing up. She made me lock eyes with her when she said “you are not a failure” and I just cried. I’ve heard over and over how I mess things up from family and even friends growing up. Not with her tho. I feel like I’m babbling. Sorry. I truly wish that everyone here can get an awesome therapist like mine if they need it. ❤️❤️ #Therapist #Comfort #Bipolar2Disorder #Anxiety

22 reactions 9 comments

What type of therapy helps with chronic pain or chronic illness?

I've been in and out of therapy for years. I've worked on CBT to death and while therapists love it, it is not helpful for me. I want to listen to my body so I feel better. I want to have a relationship with my body where I am compassionate and give it what it needs. It then gives me the energy to get out of the house and start having a life again. But in regular therapy I always talk about my life and chronic pain is like this demon on my shoulder that I just have to deal with. Regular therapists don't get it. And I don't know who will.

PLEASE help if you have any suggestions on types of therapists that work well with chronic pain/illness. I don't think this is something I will have for the rest of my life, but I've been dealing with it for 10+ years and I need to try something different. Someone suggested dance movement therapy (as an example), but while they help you get in touch with your body, I haven't seen one that specialized in pain. #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Anxiety #Therapist

7 reactions 5 comments

I don't know what to do.

I have no one, everyone tells me how lucky I am to have made it out of the fire. They have no idea what I feel and they are not interested in knowing. I can't afford a #Therapist and I can't afford regular Dr visit's
I had one appointment and haven't been able to go back. I am falling apart everybody See's me as sad I feel like I'm spiraling deeper into the darkness and no one cares.

13 reactions 10 comments

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder , #Abuse and #Marriage

If you are afflicted with cPTSD, I strongly suggest any of the books by Pete Walker. Aside, relationships are problematic for us so what happens if your relationship is with an abusive bipolar partner? The abuse was verbal, mental, emotional not nearly what I experienced as a child, but it feels just as bad. Upon telling this to my therapist he declared that is one of the reasons I’m not ready to divorce said partner. I caught my partner sneaking through my phone in the middle of the night and that, as difficult as it was, gave me the chance to set my boundaries and take my Self back. We had been sleeping separately and I did tell him we are not together, I have never told him we are now together but since then he has had medical reasons for needing to sleep in our shared bed. I permitted this as long as we had clear space separation and now he is trying to wiggle back in to my life as if nothing happened. I do not trust this man, and I feel as scared to speak to him as I would my father. Again, my therapist says this is a reason I’m not ready to divorce him. My question is, should I get a new therapist? This man had abused me for 15 years and he insists that even if I’m to divorce, this isn’t the right time I’m not stable enough. I feel very sure about this… #Advise #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #BipolarDisorder #spouse #ChildhoodAbuse #Marriage #Therapist

8 reactions 13 comments

3rd Therapist

I've been with my 3rd therapist now since mid November & I'm still trying to get a vibe. The only one so far is "awkward" & I'm trying not to let that be the main reason of possibly finding a new one.... yet, I don't wanna start all over again with my story. Ugh.

What I mean by "awkward" is once I'm done talking or explaining something, it's complete silence for a minute or so. Grant it, I do my sessions via zoom & it can have some delays, but y'all, delays don't take THAT long. I'm not a fan of awkward silence & stares. My last therapist kept the convo going. Kept the sessions going. I liked that therapist. Wish they didn't leave & I was able to follow her.
Also, I'm an avid journal writer. She knows this. So now, all she suggests is do this in your journal. Do that in your journal. Journal this. Journal that. Some days I don't mind it yet some days I'm like, give me something else lady. Lol.

Has any of y'all had a therapist like that? Just made it "awkward" in some sessions?

#Therapist #Therapy #Chatspace #Anxiety #Depression #Insomnia #PTSD #Migraines #GAD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Healing

4 reactions 3 comments

I’m an emotional homeless

As a child, I never had a place to go back to, arms to hold me, someone to comfort me and care for me. All my life I’ve been living with a hole in my chest aching all the time, without pause or relief. Now I have a therapist who is willing to give me what I didn’t have, who is showing me what love and care and intimacy can feel like. Last week she held me in her arms and comforted me.. something I never experienced before. I should feel happy and grateful, and I do. But why do I also feel this bad? It’s like I’ve finally started feeling the emptiness and pain that have been with me all my life but I’ve never allowed myself to feel. It’s all coming out now and I feel so bad. I can’t stop crying and craving more. I can’t stop being jealous of her children who get to experience that on a daily basis and who most likely won’t grow up with this aching heart. I want another past, another childhood, but this is all gone now. It’s like I’m grieving what I never had and it is heartbreaking.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Therapy #Therapist

10 reactions 1 comment