When I'm talking with other people I often struggle to come up with words and really have to think (a result of my seizures and brain surgery). Its even worse if my anxiety is high, and I also struggle to focus. I will look around and try to grasp onto something to look at as I come up with words. Looking at the person I'm talking to doesn't help. Today I had a therapy appointment on-line with the therapist I've been seeing for years (they are on-line now that I can't drive). We were talking about something hard for me and my anxiety was very high. I looked everywhere but at the computer. She got angry and told me I was being disrespectful to her. I didn't mean to be. The rest of the appointment I tried hard to look at the computer. And I cried, a lot. At one point she asked what I was thinking and I said I didn't know the right words. It was like she forgot about that. The rest of the day (and now night) it's been on my mind. Im extremely upset with myself. I wasn't doing anything I haven't always done. Has she thought I was disrespectful this whole time?. Did I do something wrong? Should i say (write) anything or just let it go?
"I need information. Please."
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Does anyone know who does AUTISM assessments for ADULTS in w...
#Autism #MentalHealth #diagnose #AutismDiagnosis #AdultDiagnosis #AutismSelfdiagnosis #Diagnosis #Selfdiagnoses #Therapist #Psychiatrist #psychologist #testing #AutismSpectrumDisorders #UndiagnosedAutism #AutismAcceptance #AutismAdvocacy #AutismAwareness #AutismDiagnosis #AutismSociety #AutismTherapy
Mental & Physical Health
I need help.
Hello, everyone. I hope you all are doing good.
This is a long post but please read it if you can.
I've been inactive here for more than a year now. Due to my mental illness, I was not able to keep up with things. Personally, and Socially. I need some advice and if anyone could help, that woul be great.
I have completed my graduation and I'm about to complete B.Ed (Bachelor of Education), this is a degree that you need to have in order to go into the academic field. I want to become a professor. On fourth of July I'll complete my B.Ed and then I'll be eligible to teach in school upto class 8th as I have done only undergraduation and not postgraduation. After completing undergraduation and B.Ed, one is eligible to teach in schools upto class 8th in India, and if you have completed your postgraduation, then you're eligible to teach upto class 12th.
But the thing is I want to be a college teacher (a professor) and for that I have to do M.A. (postgraduation) and then clear NET (National Eligibility Test) and after that I'll be eligible to teach in colleges. But I have to give an entrance exam to study M.A. and I was not able to prepare for it at all due to my increasing mental health issues. And now I've my entrance exam some time in August, most probably. And I can't prepare all of it in such a short duration of time. If I'm not able to clear the entrance exam this time, I want to take a drop year and study for the entrance and then give it again. But my parents are not supporting this decision. They are saying that if I clear my entrance exam this time, then I can study from Delhi. Otherwise, I can study from Raipur, Chhattisgarh. I've done my undergraduation from University of Delhi, and now I want to do my postgraduation from JNU (Jawaharlal Nehru University). Both these universities are the top most universities of India and after having the experience of University of Delhi, I want to get an experience of JNU. I've set my level according to that. And studying from Raipur, Chhattisgarh (where I live currently) is not appealing to me at all. The level of education over here is not as good as Delhi not is the environment.
But my parents want me to get a job as well and their suggestion is that I apply for a job at a school and then do my M.A. simultaneously. But I don't want this. I want to do my M.A. properly, clear NET and then become a professor. My school teachers are also suggesting me to apply for a job at a school.
All this is very confusing. My aim was fixed but due to all this I'm having multiple doubts. This is increasing my mental health issues a lot. I have depression and anxiety disorder and my self-esteem is becoming low day by day. It's getting worse with time and with so much pressure and confusion. If anyone of you can suggest as to what I should do, then please suggest, it would be of great help.
Please tell me from the options below:
1.) I should take a drop year if I don't clear my entrance exam this time. And then give it again next year. (The entrance exam is for University of Delhi and JNU (Jawaharlal Nehru University)
2.) I should apply for a job at a school and then do my M.A. from Raipur, Chhattisgarh.
3.) I should do my M.A. from Raipur, Chhattisgarh. Then clear NET and then apply for a job at a college.
Or any other suggestion that you want to give apart from the ones mentioned above.
Please help me.
#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #ClinicalDepression #Addiction #GettingHelp #MentalHealthAwareness #Selfharm #InsideTheMighty #ChronicDepression #ChronicAnxiety #ChronicIllness #CognitiveBehaviorTherapy #Therapy #Therapist #Psychiatrist #PTSD #Suicide #Depression #SuicidalThoughts
I am type 1 bipolar. I was on abilify for several years. I stopped taking it about a year ago I guess. I didn’t feel s difference.
Currently I am struggling with depression. I’m doing a good job pretending to be fine, but I know I am not. I feel numb. I hate my job. I’m
Always tired. Completely unmotivated to do anything.
Even things I used to love doing. If I didn’t have to leave my house I wouldn’t.
How do I get out of this? It’s affecting my marriage. It’s effecting my relationships with friends, the few I have left, and family.
Everything is hard. How can I be numb and in pain at the same time?
Idk what to do
So, over the last 3ish months I’ve relapsed with selfharm 5-6ish times, the last time being a week ago today. Which was also the morning of my therapy appointment for the week, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her in session so I sent her a message afterwards telling her I relapsed again. And so today was the session after that and of course she brought it up which is fine. But idk she’s normally so good at understanding where I’m coming from and making things relatable, etc. but I kinda feel like we’re speaking different dialects of the same language. It’s like she’s 100% focused on stopping any future relapses, whereas I… don’t really care at this point. Sure there’s this tiny part of me that cares and my therapist wants me to put more focus on the part that does care which I get. But just, I don’t like the way she framed everything and idk how to communicate that to her.
She really is a great therapist, and we’ve worked so well together on other things that like I know this is just a bump in the road, but like, idk what to do. Todays session didn’t go well in my mind and now all I want to do is cancel my next session and stop talking to her about my selfharm altogether. I know that’s not the right way to handle this, but the thought is really tempting right now. I hate complicated emotions and todays session has brought up a lot and I’m honestly just so done.
I spent HOURS yesterday and today looking for a therapist and a doctor. I thought I'd found a therapist who just might work for me. If what his description said, he'd be almost perfect. I was looking for a woman, but decided he might be great for me. I just got an email a little bit ago saying he's not taking new patients. I am feeling so upset, because I really want someone I can talk to confidentially!
Even the doctors I went through (about 12 pages, plus some recommendations!) weren't fruitful. Now I have to wait until Monday. I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling. I always feel sick and hopeless. Even when I get myself to go through hours of listings, they all tell me they're not taking new patients (even if their profiles say otherwise), they're retired, they moved, etc.
This isn't the first time I've tried! I've spent hours, even over several days, several times!
And I have to be looking at apartments, but I want my freedom! I don't even know if I can function on my own! I peed the bed this morning! They had us move from one motel room to another while they renovate, and now, three days later, we have to move back! The bathroom renovations make things even more difficult for me! The shower floor is slippery, too. This is so hard!