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    What type of therapy helps with chronic pain or chronic illness?

    I've been in and out of therapy for years. I've worked on CBT to death and while therapists love it, it is not helpful for me. I want to listen to my body so I feel better. I want to have a relationship with my body where I am compassionate and give it what it needs. It then gives me the energy to get out of the house and start having a life again. But in regular therapy I always talk about my life and chronic pain is like this demon on my shoulder that I just have to deal with. Regular therapists don't get it. And I don't know who will.

    PLEASE help if you have any suggestions on types of therapists that work well with chronic pain/illness. I don't think this is something I will have for the rest of my life, but I've been dealing with it for 10+ years and I need to try something different. Someone suggested dance movement therapy (as an example), but while they help you get in touch with your body, I haven't seen one that specialized in pain. #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Anxiety #Therapist

    7 reactions 5 comments

    I don't know what to do.

    I have no one, everyone tells me how lucky I am to have made it out of the fire. They have no idea what I feel and they are not interested in knowing. I can't afford a #Therapist and I can't afford regular Dr visit's
    I had one appointment and haven't been able to go back. I am falling apart everybody See's me as sad I feel like I'm spiraling deeper into the darkness and no one cares.

    13 reactions 10 comments

    #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder , #Abuse and #Marriage

    If you are afflicted with cPTSD, I strongly suggest any of the books by Pete Walker. Aside, relationships are problematic for us so what happens if your relationship is with an abusive bipolar partner? The abuse was verbal, mental, emotional not nearly what I experienced as a child, but it feels just as bad. Upon telling this to my therapist he declared that is one of the reasons I’m not ready to divorce said partner. I caught my partner sneaking through my phone in the middle of the night and that, as difficult as it was, gave me the chance to set my boundaries and take my Self back. We had been sleeping separately and I did tell him we are not together, I have never told him we are now together but since then he has had medical reasons for needing to sleep in our shared bed. I permitted this as long as we had clear space separation and now he is trying to wiggle back in to my life as if nothing happened. I do not trust this man, and I feel as scared to speak to him as I would my father. Again, my therapist says this is a reason I’m not ready to divorce him. My question is, should I get a new therapist? This man had abused me for 15 years and he insists that even if I’m to divorce, this isn’t the right time I’m not stable enough. I feel very sure about this… #Advise #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #BipolarDisorder #spouse #ChildhoodAbuse #Marriage #Therapist

    8 reactions 12 comments

    3rd Therapist

    I've been with my 3rd therapist now since mid November & I'm still trying to get a vibe. The only one so far is "awkward" & I'm trying not to let that be the main reason of possibly finding a new one.... yet, I don't wanna start all over again with my story. Ugh.

    What I mean by "awkward" is once I'm done talking or explaining something, it's complete silence for a minute or so. Grant it, I do my sessions via zoom & it can have some delays, but y'all, delays don't take THAT long. I'm not a fan of awkward silence & stares. My last therapist kept the convo going. Kept the sessions going. I liked that therapist. Wish they didn't leave & I was able to follow her.
    Also, I'm an avid journal writer. She knows this. So now, all she suggests is do this in your journal. Do that in your journal. Journal this. Journal that. Some days I don't mind it yet some days I'm like, give me something else lady. Lol.

    Has any of y'all had a therapist like that? Just made it "awkward" in some sessions?

    #Therapist #Therapy #Chatspace #Anxiety #Depression #Insomnia #PTSD #Migraines #GAD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Healing

    4 reactions 3 comments

    I’m an emotional homeless

    As a child, I never had a place to go back to, arms to hold me, someone to comfort me and care for me. All my life I’ve been living with a hole in my chest aching all the time, without pause or relief. Now I have a therapist who is willing to give me what I didn’t have, who is showing me what love and care and intimacy can feel like. Last week she held me in her arms and comforted me.. something I never experienced before. I should feel happy and grateful, and I do. But why do I also feel this bad? It’s like I’ve finally started feeling the emptiness and pain that have been with me all my life but I’ve never allowed myself to feel. It’s all coming out now and I feel so bad. I can’t stop crying and craving more. I can’t stop being jealous of her children who get to experience that on a daily basis and who most likely won’t grow up with this aching heart. I want another past, another childhood, but this is all gone now. It’s like I’m grieving what I never had and it is heartbreaking.

    #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Therapy #Therapist

    10 reactions 1 comment

    Seeking reassurance from your therapist

    As a child, I was left alone to deal with my problems. I became hyper independent. That’s where the bad coping skills came from. I was 7 years old when I first cut myself. I still to this day have no clue how in the world a 7 year old tells themselves I will cut myself to feel better. Until in the last years that I realized I needed someone to talk to about my experiences, share my feelings with (my stupid feelings and emotions that I never fucking understand or know what they are) and to help me organize my emotions and their meanings. That is why I initially seeked a therapist. I wanted to understand better why I keep on having my suicidal thoughts and get help managing them so they are less invading. I only recently realized that we (my therapist and I) have created a safe place together for my thoughts, but now it is like I am doubting it again because of last session. What I somewhat understood is that: reassurance seeking leads to over explaining, over apologizing, what if and doubts which come from shame/abandonment issues.

    After reading a little online, I can conclude that excessive reassurance seeking is addictive. Like any addiction, the more you do it, the more you want it. It’s an immediate relief like self harm. It is quick and relieves the anxiety that is rumbling through your head. Like self-harming, the relief does not last, and you seek it more and more. The problem with reassurance is that, in the short term, it decreases your anxiety. However, in the long term, it creates a vicious cycle that worsens your anxiety and increases your need for more reassurance. It also decreases your confidence in your ability to answer your own questions and reinforces that you are unable to tolerate the discomfort of uncertainty. How do we fix it? “By exposure and response prevention. This involves repeatedly facing the fear and choosing not to seek reassurance (i.e. not to check, measure, ask, review, and do). Exposure can be paced to slowly and purposely help the person reduce the reassurance seeking. Anxiety levels will eventually fall and the individual learns that reassurance-seeking is not needed to reduce anxiety, the feared outcome does not occur and that they have power over their thoughts and actions.” It all seems very straightforward and easy to do when you read it but emotions and feelings are mixed with all this and that is where it gets complicated. I understand I need to learn how to tolerate uncertainty. Uncertainty is not danger, its distress, it’s a feeling, and it’s not an indication of real danger in the world. I need to change how I respond to it so I no longer seek reassurance, but how do I do that when I lived in a world where no one was safe, every time I trusted someone, it literally backfired. I was either criticized, laughed at, or misunderstood. And even as I grew older, I tried trusting more, forgiving more, being more tolerant with people and they still proved my anxieties were right. My gut feelings are rarely false now. I know how to read people so I do not get hurt, so I know what to expect. The only person I have trouble reading is my therapist and it is quite anxiety provoking. I don’t know why and it’s a piss off.

    Since the beginning my therapist has been telling me to trust people more, be more vulnerable with them. Part of seeking validation and reassurance is also asking for help and being courageous enough to ask for help when needed. Don't all humans do that? Why is it bad? The message that I retained from last session with my therapist is that asking for reassurance is bad and that I shouldn’t do it ever, especially with her and yet I started trusting her and being vulnerable with her. How do they expect me to be vulnerable and honest with them if sometimes involuntarily I have questions and want some reassurance? No one can be self-sufficient, even her. It’s literally impossible. Talking about my fears and insecurities is very hard for me and she knows that, but how am I supposed to do that without relying on her a little or expecting a little reassurance. It is a blessing to find people with whom we feel safe to share our vulnerability when we feel anxious or insecure. Sharing our thoughts, including our need for reassurance, builds trust and connection. How am I supposed to do one without the other? How am I supposed to be honest about my thoughts, my feelings and questions I wonder? Yes, I worry about other people’s feelings, including my therapists. I can’t help it. I do think I am a burden to everyone around me, including her even without any concrete evidence. It is a feeling so ingrained in me that I can’t shake it off because maybe I’ve been told most of my life to shut up because I talk too much and talk too loud. I know she is a human too. I know how difficult it is to remain neutral all the time, to not show your opinion. Unloading onto someone is hard for me because the only thing I’m telling myself is don’t complain too much, don’t unload too much because they will leave. Don’t talk too much or take too much space or else they will stop this. I wish I could press a button and press stop but it goes so fast. I’m starting to realize that a lot of questions and things I ask to my therapsit are a reflection of my opinion about myself as well. I have zero self-compassion, zero self-confidence and zero knowledge on knowing how to reassure myself. I look bad right now, but being honest is so much more important to me. The only way to trust people is with honesty, especially if I want to trust myself one day. #Therapy #Therapist #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #reassurance #Selfblame #Selfharm #SuicidalThoughts #Trust #vulnerability


    Hanging On the Edge: One Man's Perspective on Rock Climbing & the Therapeutic Relationship

    Rock climbing saved my life. When I am on the side of that mountain, I feel more grounded, more alive, and more connected to the Universe. For me, it’s a holy place. This is my church. In my 32 short years on this planet, I have found climbing to be a beautiful metaphor for overcoming the difficulties life throws our way, sometimes.

    In the rock climbing community as in everyday life, we refer to the obstacles we’re working through as “problems”. Although I am tired, hurting, and feel I can’t go on...I don’t give up. I continue pushing through the pain, doubt, and exhaustion until I finally reach the summit. At which point, I can reflect back on all the problems I overcame, the path I took, and what technique I used to get through it. Then, I can feel an overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment for all my hard work. The next time I encounter a similar problem, I'll know what to do to get past it.

    No one pushed or pulled me up the mountain. All that hard work was mine. The person on the ground belaying me is merely there to provide me with safety, support, and ensure I do not fall, should I stumble. Everything else is up to me. The more I work through my problems, with my friend supporting me on the ground, the stronger I become.

    You see, therapy is a lot like rock climbing. In this allegory or metaphor, you (the climber) are the patient, the mountain is your crisis, the "problems" are all the obstacles that stand between you and overcoming the crisis such as the loss of a job or the death of a loved one or an illness, the summit is mental wellness, and the person belaying you is the therapist.

    While your therapist doesn't tell you how to feel, what to think, or what conclusions to come to, they are there as a constant support to figuratively catch you should you have any setbacks during your journey. They keep you safe and secure by "holding the rope" so that you do not plummet, and so you can resume where you left off whenever you are ready.

    You can absolutely achieve wellness on your own, or "free climb", but the trek will be significantly more difficult, and there will be no one "on the ground" to spot an easier path or remind you of different techniques you can implement to overcome those problem areas. So even though you are the one doing all the work, your therapist is an integral part of your team, who spots the problem areas ahead of time and assists in identifying the various tools you can use to get past them. In essence, they help you work through the problems in this way, without actually pulling or pushing you up the side of the "mountain". This is how you gain the strength and coping tools needed to persevere toward this summit and all future summits. Thus, rock climbing has taught me that when you replace "I" with "we", mental illness truly does become mental wellness❤

    #MentalHealth #CollegeMentalHealth #wellness #CollegeSports #Sports #Therapist #Psychiatrist #ChronicIllnessStigma #EndTheStigma #MentalHealthStigma #BipolarDisorder #Agoraphobia #BrainInjury #Medication #Inspiration #Depression #Addiction #MentalHealthHero