We have stated that our system’s goal is authenticity in all areas of life, but we realized that this is a really vague concept. What does that even mean or look like?
Until very recently, we thought of authenticity as how others view us, but this is completely outside our control. We cannot, nor should we, try to base our happiness on others’ opinions. We would never achieve our goals.
We had it backwards.
Instead, we think Authenticity is about how we chose to interact with the world and those around us. It’s about setting clear, firm, and heathy boundaries, then maintaining them.
So what does that *look* like?
It looks like using our individual voices instead of covering them up. It looks like letting the #littles dress how they want and dare people to say something about it. It looks like referring to ourselves as “we” or “us” in normal conversations and not worrying about what people think.
We can’t control the thoughts and opinions of others, but we can control our own thoughts and behaviors. And that’s Authenticity.
Since the age of 12 I’ve battled with mental health. I’ve been misdiagnosed, under medicated, over medicated, wrongly medicated and mistreated by the systems that are meant to ‘help’.
People are literally getting paid to sit and listen to you moan about random stuff an hour or so and to make sure your not going to harm yourself once a week.
I’m now 19 and I’ve battled so hard to get to where I am now. I am still left to face the challenges I faced when I was 12. I learned to cope. Not through countless therapists or psychiatrists. Through me.
My anxiety has literally tripled due to COVID. I am having anxiety attacks multiple times a day and I’m having to use medication more than ever to try and help stabilise my mood. It’s so hard trying to fix parts of yourself when the world is broken around you.
I’m splitting so much too. I underestimated how much I am struggling to adapt to everything with the uncertainty going on.
I’ve been up all night tossing and turning and my head will not stop fixating and obsessing. I’m really starting to feel like I’m a shell. Best way to describe it is them boxes which are all empty but they are all placed inside one another and it goes big to small. That’s literally how I feel. Every box, empty.
I love what I do, but the reality is sometimes the work gets hard, especially when your patient discloses a trauma that you have experienced. Sitting in the room listening to my patient today triggered me, and all the thoughts and memories of my own experience came flooding to my mind. This is the reality for therapist sometimes, that’s why self-care is so important! (for ALL working professionals) I’m human and Ive been through somethings, but I continue to do this work because I know God has called me to it and gives me the strength to sustain me in it. 80% of my patients report experiencing some form of trauma at some point in their life. So even though this experience has left me emotionally vulnerable and drained for the day, I can’t help but think about the thousands of other people who have experienced trauma that go through the same thing daily. I can’t help but think about my patient who never felt comfortable talking about her experiences to anyone until today. There are so many people in the world who have yet to disclose their experiences to anyone or seek help, and continue to suffer in silence. As a society we need to have more discussions around trauma and it’s psychological impact. Trauma comes in various form and it’s impact can look different for everyone. As people we need to be more compassionate to one another, you never know what someone is going through or has been through. Providing a listening ear can help more than you know, even if you don’t know what to say, just be present and listen. You might not understand someone’s experience, but you can validate it because it’s real to them, and that’s all that matters. #letstalkaboutmentalhealth
Hi guys, I’m new here and I’m really looking to make some friends who understand my struggles...I feel so different and “crazy” most days...I’m confused and a little lost on this whole BPD thing. Some days I think I’ve accepted it, and other days I feel as if I’ll lose the people I love, when I master up the courage to tell them I have BPD.
Anxiety and depression are one thing, so widely accepted and understood, but BPD just isn’t. I’ve read so much about BPD online and listened about it through podcasts. Some of those leaving me feeling sad and like a monster, others giving me hope.
I would love for anyone who is reading to reach out, share experiences/thoughts or become my friend.
Maybe I’m outspoken... But childhood trauma taught me this
Maybe, MJ was the most eccentric person I ever knew in music, though I don’t consider it a negative, in the language of art, it was flamboyant & creatively inspiring, let’s face it he was very hard to understand because he was so different from most. He wasn’t proven guilty, so I’m going to say more.... The depressing sadness I’ve felt in the last week after recent events in the media re: MJ have begged me to ask a question about humanity. Where has human compassion and kindness to folks who are not like most gone? If we are to believe all that we have read & seen against MJ, then should we be wary of people who have been traumatised ? In no way am I belittling the accounts of anyone who claims they were abused, because we simply cannot prove without a shadow of doubt, but where do we draw the line? If someone’s kindness & childlike manner can be judged so severely, so disparagingly, so easily then why do we even need the law? There is so much more I could say, it is evident that MJ had trauma issues well into adulthood, he never got to be a child himself, but how does that translate suddenly to 100% guilty. I hope we have a better tomorrow to look forward too, where we don’t all conclude that someone is a bad person because their behaviour or personality has some strange idiosyncrasies. One hyped up documentary, 10 yrs after he died & suddenly radio stations & film producers want to pull his music from people’s lives, No’one decides what artists or entertainers I will listen too. I say we need to leave his legacy alone, if it cannot be proven, it needs not be acted on.... I’m asking others, because I already feel like I’m wrong for wondering where do we draw the line.... Maybe ‘Man in the Mirror’ wasn’t so far from the truth, Maybe humanity is losing its edge, but it had to be said. I’m asking myself to have compassion whilst the world around wants to sweep a legacy of music under a rug due to allegations. I’m asking myself to allow myself to accept how my heart believes events happened, I don’t want to be pushed into believing something that I cannot possibly know for sure. I am an MJ fan, there is no doubt, but I believe in innocent until proven guilty. #MichaelJackson#letstalkaboutmentalhealth#ImaSurvivorToo#Trauma#Anxiety
Why it's not always easy 'looking normal' with BPD
The thing I find most unfair about having Borderline Personality Disorder is that I look so okay. And generally I act it too... And that's a blessing - mostly. I wouldn't want to not blend in most of the time.
The problem occurs when there is a misunderstanding. When someone expects me to act a certain way (how a 'normal' person would act in a certain situation), when someone doesn't understand my behaviour or thinks I am 'overreacting' to a situation or just can't work out why I am behaving the way that I am.
That is when things get messy and when things spiral for someone with my diagnosis. Because when a person with BPD is already hurting and reacting, and is then triggered further by a person questioning their reaction, or calling them out (publicly or personally 'why are you getting so upset?' 'calm down' 'what on earth is wrong with you?' 'why are you always so dramatic?' 'why must everything be such a huge thing to you?' 'I understand what you're saying but there's no reason to get so upset') it just further highlights to us how different we are, how incapable our brains are at functioning correctly.
We already KNOW we are not 'normal' (whatever that is). We already know that we aren't capable of processing emotions in the same way people without BPD do.
Having people around us show us some empathy and understanding in our weakest times is the quickest, easiest way to help calm us down and bring us back in to a rational way of thinking again. Just a little tip for those of you who are ever wondering how to handle me or anyone else with when we are distressed and you genuinely can't understand our reasonings.
Please just know, our brains are formed differently to yours - they were shaped by trauma instead of empathy. We just don't have the same capabilities to self soothe that you do. We are trying. And we know you are. But every time you look at us confused, it hurts so bad; because it just further highlights to us how different we are to you. Just tell us you are sorry we are hurting, you understand why we are so upset/angry and that you love us. That's all we want to hear.
And then, instead of sitting alone at the end of a bad day, devastated and completely heartbroken because our blind rage has pushed away YET ANOTHER person that we love, who we know was 'just trying to help', we will be able to slowly start picking up the pieces again, safe in the knowledge that we ARE loved - even though we feel oh so very broken.
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