So I'm 46 and for a long time, have known that I have anxiety. Some of the tools I use include weekly talk therapy, running outside to enjoy nature, reading mysteries, starting my day with my devotionals and prayer, journaling, and leaning on friends and family when it has gotten really bad. Two weeks ago, a new friend got real with me because she recognized herself in my behaviors. She gently confronted me with, "Girl, you're living in fear. And you don't have to feel this way all the time. Talk to your doctor and see if you need pharmacological help. You will feel so much better when this weight is lifted off of you." A lot more was said that turned a few lights on in my head. I spoke to my primary care doctor and she prescribed an anti anxiety medication. And I'm meeting with a psychiatrist that my counselor works with to figure out if I'm juggling anxiety, depression, ADHD and/or anything else, and how to tackle whatever I'm dealing with. I'm a pretty open person but as I've answered the two doctors questions, I've realized how much "stuff" I've shouldered in order to manage through my days. Probably it didn't happen overnight. But man, opening up about how I really feel has been some parts relief and many parts shocking and embarrassing. But you know what, I'm not going to buy into the shame. I used to feel much more light and carefree, like the sun was shining out of my chest. Over time I feel like I've dimmed. My hope is to rediscover the person I am when I feel my load lighten with whatever help I'm able to get in addition to my existing "toolbox." I'm sharing because I'm equal parts hopeful and scared. Sending virtual hugs to everyone on this journey.