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    Sadness and gratitude

    That woman looks so different from the one 4 years ago. There is a light in her eyes that wasn't there before. She's gained 40 pounds with the help of MANY care team members and a boatload of support. She got off medications and although the diagnosis was treacherous, she persisted until she was well enough to not talk to a dietician. She lifted, walked, loved and got outside in the sun nearly every day. She dreamed. She cried, laughed, loved and failed a lot. She is not done. She is still being made.

    That woman is me. I look at my photos and some days I cannot believe who I see looking back at me. I weep with gratitude for pushing myself so much and weep for the losses that it took for me to find her.

    I lost normalcy when I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 and gained new insights and acceptance with mental health issues.

    I lost my lifelong dream of being a mother with melanoma and a overtly small cervix but gained an entire family of friends by starting an in home daycare.

    Somewhere I lost the ability to digest foods and gained an appreciation for yoga, gardening and knowledge of natural foods to heal the body.

    I lost foods when I was diagnosed with MCAS and food allergens and I gained a purpose in life, a drive to mentor and educate and I've gained 40 pounds in 4 years. My BMI was 12.9, I fought hard to recover and now I fight hard to educate others on the importance of nutrition.

    ... I lost a husband and gained freedom, personal commitment and deep love if self...

    For every loss, there is a win. I may not always SEE the wins, may get stuck in the brain foggy histamine storms yet always there comes the win. Some come at a cost that still brings me to my knees with soul wrenching cries heretofore I know happened for reasons that may not have unfolded to me.

    To all those suffering from loss and with unbearable chronic conditions, in my moments of clarity, let me remind you life brings sadness and gratitude.

    #ChronicIllness #Malnutrition #MentalHealth #Bipolar2Disorder


    48 hour Holter Monitor #HeartConditions #Gastroparesis #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD #Malnutrition

    My body has been shutting down at an alarming rate for the past few years. First my digestive system goes to hell and that has led to so many other problems from severe malnutrition, muscle wasting, and now heart problems. Today I got hooked up to a holter monitor. My heart rhythms have been going crazy but it at least gives me piece of mind knowing that these events are being documented. I’m not hopeful about what the outcome will be. Honestly I feel like I’m just dying faster and faster. And it’s very uncomfortable.

    My husband has been out of town for a week and for the week he has been gone I have been extremely sick. I know I have lost an obvious amount of weight. I know it will concern him and he will try to “fix” it somehow (that’s just his nature) but he really doesn’t understand how difficult it is just to breathe let alone eat or even sip water sometimes. I’m glad he’s coming home because it’s really scary being alone when you’re in this condition but I’m also anxious about him fussing over me too much. I’m definitely not the type of person who enjoys attention or pity. Most of the time I just want to be left alone.

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    Gastroparesis Weight Loss

    I was diagnosed with GP last month. I've been having symptoms for quite some time now (years) but I didn't know it was related! Early symptoms were getting full fast after eating little quantities of food, little appetite and then the chronic nausea. Sometimes I'd get really bad stomach pains after eating. Sometimes out of the blue I'd get these horrible stomach pains that reach my colon. I couldn't even walk. I'm still unable to link that with possible IBS.

    I'm suffering, been suffering since May. But here's the weird thing...I was never much of a big eater to start with. Somehow after my diagnosis I started losing weight faster even though my eating habits have pretty much stayed the same. I usually eat an actual meal only once a day. The rest of the day I'll drinking liquids and/or a smoothie, eat pretzels, banana. Since then I've lost 12lbs and I'm still going. I'm deficient in Vitamin D, I've had low potassium and am usually dehydrated.

    I was at the Urgent Care just the other day for bronchitis. My immune system has been compromised. I haven't been this sick in years! I'm really starting to get concerned I just don't know when it's an actual red flag 🚩 #Gastroparesis #nausea #WeightLoss #sick #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #GERD #HiatalHernia #AcidReflux #Malnutrition