men

I've always wanted to host an online group. I already have a social group on the Mighty. This Group! But today I proudly launched my first Meet Up group. It was a suggestion from my Nami support group. The group I will host is online and will be held on Sunday nights at 8pm EST. I am hoping to meet new people in the NY area. If that is you feel free to sign up. My anxiety and depression have been high all week I hope this helps. Thanks so much for your support. #selfcare #SocialAnxiety #Men

I've always wanted to host an online group. I already have a social group on the Mighty called Care and Share for Men. But today I proudly launched my first Meet Up group. It was a suggestion from my Nami support group. The group I will host is online and will be held on Sunday nights at 8pm EST. I am hoping to meet new people in the NY area. If that is you feel free to sign up. My anxiety and depression have been high all week, I hope this helps. Thanks so much for your support. #Selfcare #SocialAnxiety #Men

Three Things that say "I need You Alive"

1.Family member. Whoever you have cherish them. If you can hug them. Call or text. Reach out. Thank them for being in your corner. Thank yous are so powerful.

2.Pet. I have a dog. The love of my life and adds some needed structure to my day. Also someone to talk to. You can have a cat, gerbil, ferret, even a fish. The key is something you need to take care of.

3.A plant. This is my favorite because it is the easiest and you can see the results. Look into getting a plant that is suited for where you live.

*** Some suggest three: one for sight, smell, and one you can eat.

Hope this helps!

Stay strong. You are worth. You are not alone! #selfcare #MentalHealth #Men #Distractions

Surviving vs. Living

We all want to live life. But many of us are stuck in survival mode. Our symptoms and conditions are so powerful, we do the bare minimum to get through the day. Time repeats day in and day out.

Habitually, just getting through the day, literally just going through the motions. No happy moments, and if there are any, they are fleeting, and I have to find something wrong with it…not allowing happiness.

I have spent too much time listening to the lies of depression or letting my OCD get the best of me. It is time to STOP and start living.

STOP is an acronym from Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)

First S= Stop (literally) what you are doing.

T= Take a deep breath

O= Observe what is around with all your

senses

P= Proceed

The end is the kicker --- how do I proceed. My emotional mind tells me to go back to bed and hide from the world. OCD and depression devour this mind.

But my rational mind says -- I have distractions: coloring, puzzles, word search, gaming, watching streaming shows, shower, rip paper, go for a walk, play with my adorable mini goldendoodle, write or even read.

Anything that is the opposite of what your mind is telling you to do.

The only way to get out of survival mode is to change your habits. When you get to the Proceed, you do the opposite of that of what you nasty emotional mind lies and tells you --

Find a hobby, read, play, draw, crawl, yoga, cards, journalling…

Really bad (ice pack, cold shower, get a stuffed animal pillow to squeeze)

Go to the app store of your choice -- amazing apps for coloring and word searches/word games.

Once you start tricking your mind, these new habits will take over. Breathing and yoga are now routine for me. I have an app for on-the-go meditation and yoga.

You have to start somewhere.

Someday.

It could be TODAY!

#Bipolar #BipolarDisorder #Men #OCD #selfcare #PTSD #Anxiety

Surviving vs. Living

We all want to live life. But many of us are stuck in survival mode. Our symptoms and conditions are so powerful, we do the bare minimum to get through the day. Time repeats day in and day out.

Habitually, just getting through the day, literally just going through the motions. No happy moments, and if there are any, they are fleeting, and I have to find something wrong with it…not allowing happiness.

I have spent too much time listening to the lies of depression or letting my OCD get the best of me. It is time to STOP and start living.

STOP is an acronym from Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)

First S= Stop (literally) what you are doing.

T= Take a deep breath

O= Observe what is around with all your senses

P = Proceed

The end is the kicker --- how do I proceed. My emotional mind tells me to go back to bed and hide from the world. OCD and depression devour this mind.

But my rational mind says -- I have distractions: coloring, puzzles, word search, gaming, watching streaming shows, shower, rip paper, go for a walk, play with my adorable mini goldendoodle, write or even read.

Anything that is the opposite of what your mind is telling you to do.

The only way to get out of survival mode is to change your habits.

When you get to the Proceed, you do the opposite of that of what you nasty emotional mind lies and tells you -- Find a hobby, read, play, draw, crawl, yoga, cards, journaling…

Really bad (ice pack, cold shower, get a stuffed animal pillow to squeeze)

Go to the app store of your choice -- amazing apps for coloring and word searches/word games.

Once you start tricking your mind, these new habits will take over. Breathing and yoga are now routine for me. I have an app for on-the-go meditation and yoga.

You have to start somewhere.

Someday.

It could be TODAY!

#BipolarDisorder

#selfcare #OCD #Bipolar #Men #Anxiety #DBT

I am proud of myself. I made it through in my opinion the coldest, darkest and longest month of the year. January! It was a rough holiday season as usual for me. I counted the days in dread not like an eager youngster for Christmas to come and GO! It did but my expectations for a new start, a fresh January never came.

The depression never left as January progressed. I had to adjust meds and sleeping habits. But I just couldn't find a purpose to stay out of bed or some days even get out of bed.

Then on January 30th my wife and I acknowledged with pride our first date anniversary. Eighteen years ago, in 2005.

Now she looks me in the eyes everyday and says, “I love you” and “You’re going to be fine” You're not going to kill yourself or die tonight"

My purpose to me often seems unclear. But a major part of why I am here on this earth is to share many happy moments with my wife and goldendoodle. I don’t need a career to define me as a person.

I am proud of myself for standing up to my illness today. I took a shower, made a nice lunch for myself, walked the dog, journaled, surfed the web and did all the laundry.

I am proud of myself for fighting the negative thoughts that are trying to pull me to the rumination hell of my bed.

So with January gone and the picture attached to this article posted in my work space area I am ready to say “I am proud of myself” every day.

Okay today was a great start.

Share any proud moments or just give it a like.

Thanks for reading.

Be Well! #MentalHealth #Depression #selfcare #Men

I’m writing this after reading several articles on how to combat loneliness.

Often the first one is to reach out to close friends.

There are several reasons this is not working for me. First, I don’t have any close friends I lost them or push them away due to my mental illness. Second, in the past year many of my immediate family have been put on the do not contact toxic list. So reaching for the phone is not helpful.

How can you be lonely if you’re married? My wife works and goes into the office several times per week. I am home and have been for almost 4 years with a complex mental disabilities. Most of it, in the past three years anyway there’s been a balance of her working from home and going into the office.

In order for her to be productive and mentally fit we agreed I won’t bother or distract her while she is quote “working”. Her location of being home or in the office does not play a factor in the agreement to let her do her job.

Another popular suggestion is to join social media or in person clubs or meetings. Due to my severe social anxiety I feel I would never be able to speak up with enough confidence to participate in clubs. (Getting hooked on social media as a distraction also not an option)

For example, “a Mets fan club” I still would not enjoy myself as I would think I’d likely not make friends anyway and feel inferior. No reason to join a club and become a wallflower. Knowing myself a all the buildup and anxiety before and after meetings would not be worth it.

The challenge is therefore left to me to fill my day with activities and constant distractions to fight the negative self-talk that pulls me to darkness. It tells me why bother, you have no purpose there’s no reason to get out of bed.#MentalHealth #Men #Depression

I’m writing this after reading several articles on how to combat loneliness.

Often the first one is to reach out to close friends.

There are several reasons this is not working for me. First, I don’t have any close friends I lost them or push them away due to my mental illness. Second, in the past year many of my immediate family have been put on the do not contact toxic list. So reaching for the phone is not helpful.

How can you be lonely if you’re married? My wife works and goes into the office several times per week. I am home and have been for almost 4 years with a complex mental disabilities. Most of it, in the past three years anyway there’s been a balance of her working from home and going into the office.

In order for her to be productive and mentally fit we agreed I won’t bother or distract her while she is quote “working”. Her location of being home or in the office does not play a factor in the agreement to let her do her job.

Another popular suggestion is to join social media or in person clubs or meetings. Due to my severe social anxiety I feel I would never be able to speak up with enough confidence to participate in clubs. (Getting hooked on social media as a distraction also not an option)

For example, “a Mets fan club” I still would not enjoy myself as I would think I’d likely not make friends anyway and feel inferior. No reason to join a club and become a wallflower. Knowing myself a all the buildup and anxiety before and after meetings would not be worth it.

The challenge is therefore left to me to fill my day with activities and constant distractions to fight the negative self-talk that pulls me to darkness. It tells me why bother, you have no purpose there’s no reason to get out of bed.

Anyone else has similar stories suggestions to share please feel free to comment below. Be Well!

#MentalHealth #Men #Depresssion

Adapted from:

The Mental Health Impact of Cutting a Toxic Parent Out of Your Life

Monika Sudakov _______________________________________

My Toxic Mother

Going no-contact with someone is a really difficult and painful decision. Going no contact with a parent comes with even more grief and challenges.

Society has a built in stigma against children who cut parents out of their lives.

A toxic relationship is defined as one that is in any way hurtful or that negatively impacts your life. Often the toxic individual doesn’t realize they are toxic, and they may in fact suffer from mental illness.

If they still are unwilling or unable to change their own behavior, the only choice one has is to remove that person from their life.

Codependency and favoritism have made it very difficult to make that cut. I was a momma’s boy and often referred to as “the prince.” We are getting a hot meal the prince is here.” Plus, all my outbursts and hospitalizations caused my brothers to distant themselves instead of ask questions to understand my illness. Still 30 years later, it is still hard to built a solid relationship with them.

In my case after repeated attempts at establishing boundaries have failed because even after being informed of the ways in which she may trigger me, she still does. She hits me with zingers.

Zingers: Remarks, comments, and discussion topics that I have told her numerous times to avoid. eg Covid, politics, NEWS, her health drama

In my own struggle to keep my distance from my toxic mother, I have been met with much angst. Mostly from my brothers. It has been hard enough to try to grieve the lack of a healthy mother-son relationship, but it has been even harder to be met with not just hesitation, but downright anger, unacceptance, and not understanding by my family This is my choice to protect my emotional health and well-being.

What I want you to know is that nobody has the right to dictate what is right for your mental health. You know how you feel. You know the truth. Nobody else can feel that for you.

Nobody. I repeat, nobody has the right to tell you why someone shouldn’t be toxic to you. Only you can determine what is right for you, mentally, emotionally and physically.#MentalHealth #Men #selfcare