mentalbreak

This past Friday evening I had a complete emotional/mental breakdown to the point I was crying so hard for an hour straight that I lost my voice. The last time I was this bad was when I made an attempt in 2017. I'm not currently in the state of mind that I want to hurt myself but I would say that I'm on that edge.

My voice started coming back yesterday (Sunday) but it has been for brief moments before I become raspy and start to lose it again. I have no one that I talk to on the regular other than my ex but 99.8% of our communication is via text everyday so I don't know how it's doing today.

Not having the ability to talk has made me realize I really have nothing of any importance to verbalize and I quite literally have no one other than my ex that I would talk to regularly and like I said most of that is via text. I do have one close friend who I speak to a little but most of the time it's text or Facebook messenger. At the office I rarely interact with people and when I need to it can be done by email 99.9% of the time.

At this time I really see no reason to have to talk to anyone and I'm thinking I won't.

Not sure what to do now. My boss and I do not get along and she is on a mission to fire me. Did I mention there are only 30 employees at my company and we are the only females? Well she gave me my “action plan” yesterday, which I feel is basically giving me notice that she’s firing me in two weeks.
So last night I went home and told my husband, and he threatened me that we are financially f*cked if I lose this job. I’ve tried explaining to him I am doing my best, but he just thinks I’m making this into something in my head.
I am absolutely exhausted and verging on a mental breakdown. I don’t know what to do anymore. #mentalbreak #Anxiety #breakdown #PanicAttack

I’m done #iamdone #ihavehadenough #ineedabreak #destressday #peoplearemean #theratracegetsold