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Scared of the Unknown

So I've been dealing with some physical symptoms that have been interrupting my sleep every night for several months. I don't remember the last time I slept through the night because it's been that long. Anyway I went to the doctor yesterday and they are testing my blood but in the meantime I'm trying not to completely 'what-if' myself into either depression or anxiety. The doctor named off a few things she thought it could be...not sure if that was a good or bad idea on her part because anxiety. I just wanted to come on here and ask for prayers. I'm worried about what it could or couldn't be and it's wearing me out. #Anxiety #Depression #ruminatingthoughts #Insomnia #prayersplease

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A little caught up in the whirlwind of life.

It’s been some time since I’ve felt so drained, physically, mentally, and empty emotionally.

Going offline for a couple days. Just trying to keep a brave face...

#prayersplease #exhausted #lovehurts #emotionallyempty #Faith #prayers #sick #mentalbreak #offline #furmilytime #needhugs #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #Drained #empty


I think I’m starting to get into a relationship

Nothing is official, but please pray that I am placing my trust in the right person this time.... Last time a placed my trust in someone, it was my abuser. From what I know about this guy, he is well behaved and wouldn’t do that, but please pray I’m making the right decision... Thank you Mighty #Depression #EatingDisorders #AnorexiaNervosa #prayersplease #Support

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Eep - away from home

There's nothing better than the comfort of your own bed, devices, your sanctuary. I have to leave mine for days now.  Usually I hate being away from home.  But, it's important to spend this time with my family and in-laws family as we witness my nephews wedding.

The social anxiety really gets hard at times and the always having to be "on."  Send me good thoughts and vibes and all that jazz.

And hopefully, I'll still get a chance to write poetry every day, but I may not get to upload it.  Bring on the Android App!



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Not sure where to go... #CheckInWithMe #confused #Support

I believe I need to be taken, taken somewhere where my worries and struggles do not burden people I love. I believe I need to be cast away from society, for have no value to contribute or knowledge to give. I believe my current existence places such a burden on people I love and care too much about, to a fault, do not need a burden like me in their lives.

I am the one that threw away everything. I am the one that thought, for once, if I didn’t wake up, nobody would come knocking or know. The one individual that cared and gave a shit, is the one I’ve ruined things for.

Please, Lord, take me away. Give me the strength to fight because I no longer want to or have the will to. I don’t want to exist like this, I don’t want to push on. I don’t know what I’m doing or what my purpose is and every holiday, celebration, gathering weighs down upon me heavily. It’s a reminder I’m alone. It’s a reminder I don’t belong. It’s a reminder I am outcasted because I have mental illness.

Let sleep overtake me. Let me lift my heart to you. Let me fall asleep in the arms of the one I love and know that maybe, just maybe, it gets better. I know I can’t keep putting on a smile and brace face for that facade is slowly caving in.

“I think I hit the potion life where,
I’m just done.

I cried,
I fought,
I tried,

But everything coz crashing down.

My demons are screaming louder,
Trying to eat away the great of me.

And this time,
I’m not going to fight back”

#outcast #Iloveyou #foreverandalways #MentalIllness #stigmafighter #CheckInWithMe #textmecallme #please #lostandwandering #abitconfused #imsimplydone #prayersplease #lonely #exhausted #Depression #Recovery #Suicide


#ahardweek #prayersplease

I was recently released from the psych ward, (2/20) and it's been one hell of a week. I was their for 5 days and came home to my brother (little) being sick and then my mom. They both wound up in the hospital. Little brother was their for 3 day, mom was in ICU for 4 days and they found a mass in her lung which she is supposed to follow up on but knowing my mother she won't. Now on to me I start my PHP program Monday. That I'm excited for but I'm also very anxious about it.