lovehurts

I’ve come to realize that I have periods where I want to be in a relationship or that I want closeness. Then there are times when I want nothing to do with love or affection. I almost abhor it. Lately, I’ve been the latter of the two. I don’t want to be close to anyone right now and I don’t feel a thing either. I just wanted to know if anyone has felt this way or is in that mode in this particular moment. #MentalHealth #Depression #lovehurts #NoLove #questions #changes

I'm in love with a friend who doesn't see me. I try so hard to be what I think he wants in a woman, but I make myself look stupid. I just want to be me. I don't want to do the things I've been doing. He is handsome and skinny. I'm fat and ugly. But he talks to me like I'm a regular person. I feel like my ugly disappears when I'm around him but we will never be more than friends. #brokenheart #lovehurts

This is what I got asked one night:

Do U get that I actually wanna date u and treat u so fucking great. Like I wanna show u how a guy should actually treat u. Tbh I’d stay over all the time everyday idc but I don’t wanna stay over if u don’t know what this is. If u want it to be something please tell me if u don’t please tell me that too cause I have so many mixed signals from u rn I just want to.

I responded with this:

Do I want a relationship, yes I do. My mental health is not doing good rn. I do not know what I’m doing with my life rn. Everything is turning back on me, all the flashbacks, all of it. I do not want to hurt you, so rn I do not think I can handle a relationship. I do not wanna end up fucking you over because I sleep with another guy or something like that. I need to get my shit taken care of first, before I can be in a relationship.

The thought of finding love, would be amazing. But than again what’s the point?
There’s no point to it.
Nothing changes.
They leave you, even when they told you they wouldn’t.
I’ve been hurt to much.
I’m use to this.
It’s the same excuse everytime.
“You aren’t ready for a relationship”
“I won’t leave you”
“I’m always here for you”
Like I said before:
Nothing changes.

Give us a chance to show you that we love you, give us time to show you. It might take weeks, months or even years. Just know that we love you, we just aren’t ready to tell you yet. I knew what I wanted and that was you, but you left. Not a sight or even a word from you, this is hard because all I want is you. I wish you knew this.
I love you James.

#lovehurts #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety

seems these days that being a nice person only brings pain and sorrow. I have thought about suicide multiple times. Threw myself on drugs. (Cocaine and weed) so I dont have to think about how lonely and pointless my life is. I am rich and beautiful. I have a family who loves me. What more can I ask for? Loving the wrong people destroyed me. I have ups and downs. Not taking too many drugs anymore but theres is this paon in my chest that just won’t go away. Its been years. I am suffering continuesly but don’t know how to make it stop. People find me ridiculous because I should be the happiest person on earth. Noone understands truly. I am simply a much compassionate/ sensitive and empathic person. I suffer 10000 times more than normal people because I feel more. Hence i started to do drugs in order to feel less and being able to live normally
#MightyPoets

Love the deepest cut I’ve ever had

I find myself wanting to distant myself from people, distant myself from reality just to get an escape I will do anything... it’s been 6 months of shear torture, something you won’t know... because at the end of the day nobody can compare to you, not one soul. You gave me life again where I had given up most on.. brought me back to life only to tear me to pieces in a matter of seconds, you made me out the bottle down but now I’m picking it back up, you made me put the razor blade down but now I feel the itch even greater then before.. every night and everyday is a battle just to put a smile on my face.. I am now just going through the motions of life, and in the end I really don’t feel anything... I don’t feel love for myself I don’t feel pain anymore.. honestly if someone were to walk away from me right now I probably couldn’t feel a thing.. you say you know this pain but you don’t... I can’t even love or begin to think about loving again... because it hurts so bad.. thinking about loving someone else and being a failure to them because I can’t love myself hurts... you were there for me whenever I needed you, sure sometimes I took it for granted but it was always you... it was always you that I wanted to come home to the one person I wanted to see at the end of the day and hug on an everyday basis... the one I wanted to kiss make love to and grow our family.. but it was all a lie, I loved you with all of my heart and soul. Do I say goodbye to life or do I try to keep pushing forward knowing it may never make a difference, when will I know what to do...
#Depression #lovehurts #iquit