MMJ

This Mighty Minute's got me thinking. This was my comment:
I'm tired of hearing:
"but you look so normal" (as though that's a compliment and as though people with health problems/mental illnesses aren't normal)
"have you tried rest and relaxation?" (seriously? I'm already at a sloth-like level of activity and I usually can't sleep more than 3 hrs because of the pain, but sure, tell me about that one time you "threw your back out" and compare that to my multiple debilitating disabilities)
"essential oils saved my life!" (okay, that doesn't even make sense, but sure, go on about your affiliate program and how I can make you money)
"I know exactly what you're going through!" (no, you don't)
"you're too young to have #BackPain" (really? really?! I get this from nurses a lot and they should know better )
Oof, there's so many more that I just can't think of right now. "feel better soon" is also annoying.
Another one that bothers me is being asked if I've tried MMJ. I'd love to, but it's prohibitively expensive. I can't afford $2-300 just for a card and then over $100 a month for the medicine itself.
Help me advocate for it to be federally legalized to let researchers test it and prove it relieves pain to make sure insurance and flex plans cover it and then we'll talk but don't criticize me for being broke disabled unemployed underinsured and miserable if you're not going to help me do the work by advocating for healthcare - and by extension MMJ - to be accessible and affordable for everyone! #MentalHealth #ChronicPain  #Disability  #Insurance  #MMJ  #Marijuana #HealthCare #Fatigue #ChronicFatigue

*edited slightly for phrasing and to add tags

I'm worn out just thinking about these hypothetical conversations.

The prodrome started this morning with nausea as it usually does. By lunch time I couldn't even think about eating. By my 1 p.m. work meeting I warned my boss that I might need to run off quickly ( fortunately it was a remote meeting via Zoom so nobody would need to see me dash to the bathroom ) . I took a half-hour break in the dark between the end of that meeting and the beginning of another work task and that's when the headache started...moving from the back of my neck up the base of my skull around to my forehead and finally thrusting in an ice pick to pack it up all nice and neatly. I managed two hours of work and then bowed out because I could no longer stand the pain and vertigo. I'm less nauseated now thanks to #MMJ, but my head still screams if I look at anything too bright. So of COURSE I'm sitting here reading The Mighty, with its white background, because apparently the MMJ is making me dumb, too. LOL

I had an outlet for a little while I wish I could get it back. I started taking anxiety medication since high school, as of 2016 for that whole year I smoked weed every day and was able to stop my meds for a whole year. But that year also brought a lot of grief and one day I had a major panic attack, since that day I’m not able to smoke and I’m back on my meds. I loved smoking! I truly felt that it made me feel much better, I wish I could go back to the person I use to be. It’s not as intense but it’s worse than anytime before. I want the old me back mind over matter but it’s taking forever.