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Control (Trigger Warning)

Sometimes I feel that suicide is the only thing I have control over. It is the one thing that only I can decide, plan, overthink, contemplate, and choose yes or no. I think of it daily. I've got all my plans in place so my family won't have to do anything. I have tried 5 times in the past. The last time should have worked, but I was sold the wrong product. I was so f'in mad that I was still here. My husband drove me to the hospital and they did nothing, which is the norm. I have two plans of action this time - no, I'm not actively suicidal right now. One could fail if not setup properly. The other is a definite guarantee. I did so much research on these two things. Why? It truly is a control issue. I need to control something in my life, and this is it. I feel I have no control over anything else. I don't bring it up, mention it to anyone, talk about it. I keep it to myself because no one wants to hear that I think about it, let alone having planned everything from start to finish, including the BS my family won't have to deal with because it's done. Anyway, I just had to get this out. Thanks for listening.

#Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #CocaineDependence #EmotionalAbuse #Marijuana #MentalHealth #MightyPets #SubstanceUseDisorders #Suicide #SuicideIdeation #SuicideSurvivors #Survivor

11 reactions 5 comments
Post

My Control (Trigger warning)

Sometimes I feel that suicide is the only thing I have control over. It is the one thing that only I can decide, plan, overthink, contemplate, and choose yes or no. I think of it daily. I've got all my plans in place so my family won't have to do anything. I have tried 5 times in the past. The last time should have worked, but I was sold the wrong product. I was so f'in mad that I was still here. My husband drove me to the hospital and they did nothing, which is the norm. I have two plans of action this time - no, I'm not actively suicidal right now. One could fail if not setup properly. The other is a definite guarantee. I did so much research on these two things. Why? It truly is a control issue. I need to control something in my life, and this is it. I feel I have no control over anything else. I don't bring it up, mention it to anyone, talk about it. I keep it to myself because no one wants to hear that I think about it, let alone having planned everything from start to finish, including the BS my family won't have to deal with because it's done. Anyway, I just had to get this out. Thanks for listening.

#Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #CocaineDependence #EmotionalAbuse #Marijuana #MentalHealth #MightyPets #SubstanceUseDisorders #Suicide #SuicideIdeation #SuicideSurvivors #Survivor

12 reactions 6 comments
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Weak

I stopped my drug of choice for 5 weeks but then got a little and have had a couple each day since. My other drug of choice is a bad one and is hard to quit. I made it 11 days and then I got a couple g's. I was so disappointed in myself. I was proud when I said I was quitting and I did. I just can't stay away. I'm an addict and I need to deal with these two drugs now. I have tried Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, talk therapy, meditation, mindfulness. The only thing I haven't tried is a 12-step program. I found some for narcotics anonymous - there's one group in my city that is secular. Online there are hundreds. No excuse not to participate. Let's make it through today and worry about tomorrow the next day. #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #CocaineDependence #Marijuana #EmotionalAbuse #MentalHealth #MightyPets #SubstanceUseDisorders #Suicide #SuicideIdeation #SuicideSurvivors #Survivor

5 reactions 3 comments
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How To Get Medical Marijuana Card in California?

Getting a California medical marijuana card is quite easy, It is an essential document for purchasing, Consuming and cultivating cannabis in California state.

PROCESS -

SIGN UP FOR YOUR CARD

Start by filling up the medical evaluation form, Fill up all your authentic details.

GET IN TOUCH WITH A MEDICAL DOCTOR

After evaluation schedule an appointment with the medical doctor for an online video call.

RECEIVE YOUR MEDICAL CANNABIS CARD VIA EMAIL

After evaluation with the medical doctor, get your medical marijuana card digital copy in your mail instantly.

For complete information visit - Get Your California Medical Marijuana Card @Just $55 - My MMJ Doctor

#California #Marijuana #Cannabis #Hemp #medical #marijuanacard #Doctor

Get Your California Medical Marijuana Card @Just $55 - My MMJ Doctor

Apply for the legal right to consume, possess and cultivate Medical Marijuana in California and receive your digital copy for just @$55
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Cannabis Compounds for Arthritis #Arthritis #Cannabis #Marijuana

THC and CBD help control arthritis symptoms, which is well known. These and 15 other cannabis compounds, mainly cannabis terpenes, may also help deter progression. Fourteen of these are terpenes, the exception being the flavonoid apigenin.

The traditional approach to consuming terpenes is through aromatherapy — the inhalation and topical absorption of essential oils. Aromatherapy is a well-known approach to the treatment of arthritis pain. The new element reported here is its use in retarding the progression of arthritis.

If using natural oils for aromatherapy, the following may be of interest: Humulus lupulus (hops) is an excellent source of α-humulene and β-Caryophyllene. Bergamot orange is a good source of d-limonene. Pinus sylvestris (pine) is a good source of α-terpineol and α-pinene.

More at pagenotes.com/cannabis/arthritis.htm

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Should I quit or keep vapin???

I’ve used marijuana on and off since 2015 and smoked in my teens.

Sick of dealing with anxiety when it’s time to restock.

Has anyone had personal experience with using ?

I’m not sure anymore if it’s a good idea to use because Of my bipolar, other mental health issues & things I need to heal from.

What do you all think 💭 🤔 ? Have a good weekend btw It was a beautiful 🤩 day ! #Bipolar1Disorder #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Marijuana #Grace #Love

8 comments
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Marijuana helps and induces migraines #Marijuana #MedicalMarijuana #Migraine

Since last year I have been taking edibles to combat constant pain and migraines. It works wonders. It's the only thing that has worked for me since I was 12. I'm 34 now. Unfortunately when the edible that I take every day runs out of a particular batch with the same amount of THC/CBD ratio It's very difficult to go to a new bottle. I have to go through 2-4 days of transition /migraines. It's a catch 22 and I wish I could eliminate it altogether.

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#Anxiety , MARIJUANA

How many people are no longer able to smoke #Marijuana because it intensifies their anxiety? I used to love it until it turned on me. I've tried different strains, cbd, it all gives me #Anxiety

18 comments