mybestfriend

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Journals #52SmallThings #Journal #JournalLife #mybestfriend

I started keeping a journal my freshman year of high school. Of course, I had diaries as a little girl but this was a big kid journal. It was probably through the movie "Harriet The Spy" that I was first introduced to composition notebooks. I started the notebook by writing what year it was established, and maybe the passwords to my social media accounts were on the front page? Each page included the date and that would be it, until, I started decorating my pages with color pencils as if there was a background to my words after I finished writing. I had sharpies-markers-color pencils and made the black and white notebook look pretty lively. I enjoyed this so much. It wasn't until after my high school graduation in 2014 that I just stopped. I had been in a relationship with someone who I describe as narcissistic since 2012 he read my journal a couple of times an informed me of how he did not care for it or what I wrote in it. I stopped expressing myself in words and in art. I stopped expressing my feelings and having that "want" to do so. I may have done a few entries spread out by months, but you can bet that I thought hard about what if my words were read and I sustained from writing certain things from there on out. Diagnosed with OCD, PTSD, and Bipolar disorder I find it doing my therapist a favor keeping my journal. The man I have a relationship with now I could care less if he read any of what I wrote because I tend to express these things to him as well. Journaling is a wonderful thing. Some days my journal is the only one I confide in. Other days it's a struggle just to open it up. And when someones' privacy is invaded in your journal, it can affect an individual. Honestly, it may not seem like a big deal but to some it is!

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My Bailey Boy.... R.I.P

Today the day I lose my best friend.....My Bailey Boy... Where do I even begin with you. I love you... you were my best friend. They say a dog is a man best friend. But you were a girls best friend. You were there thru it all. You helped me with my anxiety and depression. You slept with me almost every night, you let me cry on you, listen to all my stupid school drama. Sat and laid by my bed side each time I was sick or recovering from surgery. You wouldn’t move until you made sure I was ok. You were my thunder buddy. Since we both were of thunder and lightning. You could calm me down and I do same for you. You were my favorite photography subject and you always listened so well. You were even in my senior photos. And how the photographer was shocked how behaved you were. Im so happy how many photos we took together and all the photos I have of you. They will forever be with me. I will miss you forever. I’ll miss our walks, our laying in bed all day. I’ll miss you running into my room and pushing the door open wagging tail also you running into my room and wanted to lay under my desk. Even if you didn’t fit! I’ll miss you barging in when it was time for food. You were always good at knowing it was 6 lol. I’ll miss you eating only wheat Bread and not even bothering trying to hide the evidence. I hope Manu and you reunited. Talk about what has been going on, I hope Manu and you play and run around chasing birds up there. I love you bailey boy, you will always be my best friend.

#Depression #EmotionalSupportDogs #mybestfriend #sad ##graving

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It doesn’t seem to get any easier 💔 #Death #Grief #Sadness

Missing someone so much is the worst physical and emotional pain in the world. I long to hear your voice just one more time. #mybestfriend #Partofmeismissing #Feeling #lost #sad #lonely #Heartbroken

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