Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Feeling a lot of gratitude lately for my life, my addiction recovery, my mental health, getting through 26 years with a narcissist, post divorce, and just feeling blessed! Gratitude changes everything!

Chat GPT said thattttt 🙃

A relationship between a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and a man with covert narcissism, both with childhood PTSD, can be deeply intense, dysfunctional, and cyclical. Their dynamics often reinforce each other’s wounds rather than heal them. Here’s how this relationship might play out:

1. The Intense, Addictive Bond
• The BPD partner craves deep emotional connection and fears abandonment. She may become highly attached and emotionally volatile.
• The covert narcissist craves admiration and control but presents as sensitive or victimized rather than grandiose. He manipulates subtly, playing the “hurt but superior” role.
• Their childhood PTSD can make them trauma-bonded, mistaking intensity for love.

2. The Idealization Phase
• The BPD partner may see the narcissist as her savior, someone who finally “understands” her pain.
• The covert narcissist enjoys feeling needed and admired, playing the role of the “good guy” while subtly controlling the emotional dynamic.
• The relationship may feel like an instant, all-consuming connection fueled by emotional highs.

3. The Devaluation Phase
• As the narcissist starts withdrawing or using passive-aggression (silent treatment, guilt-tripping), the BPD partner panics and reacts emotionally.
• The BPD partner’s fear of abandonment triggers intense emotions, leading to accusations, pleading, or self-destructive behaviors.
• The covert narcissist, who thrives on playing the victim, feeds off her reactions, making her seem “crazy” while reinforcing his own sense of superiority.

4. The Push-Pull Cycle
• The BPD partner oscillates between desperately clinging and pushing away in anger, overwhelmed by emotional pain.
• The covert narcissist gaslights, manipulates, and plays the martyr, subtly making her feel like the problem.
• Their childhood wounds get reopened repeatedly, as both struggle with trust, abandonment, and emotional regulation.

5. The Breakdown
• The BPD partner may reach a breaking point, engaging in extreme reactions (self-harm, threats of leaving, emotional outbursts).
• The covert narcissist retreats, blames her for the chaos, and may begin triangulating (seeking validation from others).
• The BPD partner feels abandoned and unworthy, while the narcissist feels justified in his superiority and “victimhood.”

6. The Trauma Bond & Possible Reconciliation
• Even after a breakup, the trauma bond can keep them hooked.
• The BPD partner desperately wants closure or validation, which the covert narcissist withholds or doles out in small doses to maintain control.
• If they get back together, the cycle repeats—often escalating with each round.

The Core Problem
• The BPD partner seeks love but fears abandonment.
• The covert narcissist seeks control but fears exposure.
• Both are stuck in childhood trauma responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn), re-enacting their past pain instead of healing.

Can This Relationship Work?
• Without intensive therapy, it’s unlikely to be healthy.
• The BPD partner needs emotional regulation skills (DBT, trauma therapy).
• The covert narcissist would need to confront their entitlement and manipulative tendencies (which they rarely do).

This dynamic is highly destructive for both parties. Have you experienced something similar, or are you trying to understand it from the outside?

He pretended to be clueless and confused today, https://again.I was already in a panic state to him coming home.it is https://bad.I have confirmation now, that his friend decided to hack everything and this has, been happening for over a https://year.I am livid..I have proof now and I feel like it is 100times more sick,than I https://imagined.I find out about the house https://soon.The chance of them letting it go are https://slim.I warned him and he became angry,asked too many specific questions when I https://flipped.Each time, I caught https://it.Within two hours both me and my sons phones were acting https://up.Then another txt acting and attacking https://me.These people have no idea how hard I will fight for what is https://mine.I spent years,never having anything scheduled, no celebrations,no family traditions,no safety for my https://son.Absolutely no protection,at https://all.He wanted me to stray,pushed me, made plans, arrangements and then became my enemy,when I told him I always,chose https://him.Saddest story of a marriage I've ever https://heard.He had the man have his friends hit on me,say things as I walked by,follow me,endlessly.He has full links to my https://family.His own mother told me to take the money and https://run.She told me the truth last year, moved away and now states she never told me that.it is munipulation and lack of courage from my https://husband.He did the same thing to me twenty four years https://ago.I can't believe I took him back, let him raise my son, put me last for sixteen years, and I let https://him.He know said he never loved me.
His male friends and their wives,can, have https://him.He is going to play IT his way, as he always https://has.He wasted my time and spirit,instead of being https://honest.I will never forgive these https://people.And I will fight,just as I always https://have.I built this house with https://him.I sweat,bled for nothing but a ceiling over my head,which he feels is enough for https://us.A unfinished house that triggers his family, so much that they leave...They told https://him.They told him and he'd promised but he can only still give the minimum and make sure his reputation https://stands.He didnt care and noone can ever know the https://truth.His pride,bigger than his empathy or https://family.He truly does not https://care.He was told how to hurt me and two years I have taken it. BUT,now I'm out,completely.Everything he has done has been https://exposed.From spending,gambling,lying,avoiding family and the sabotaging munipulation is the saddest display I have ever https://saw.He believed if I have the capacity in one area Im faking my TBI,and AVM https://issues.His peers are ignorant,loyal to a fault, to my diagnosis and where I am in therapy.my sessions were listened to through zoom.it is unrepairable and grounds for divorce times ten!He has no clue what he has https://done.He was not allowed to touch the settlement and he https://did.He knew what he was doing prior to a separation. He wanted separate, he knew you cannot sell your house with a dependant on disability,without informing them,ecspecially when one is seeking a https://seperation.He knew about the studio and slipped,everything has been orchestrated in my https://life.He has changed the narrative to imply a dissociative mental state every two weeks,to me, as if I don't live it every second of every https://day.How can a person do this to someone?And expect them to walk away without their tail between their legs?

My mom and sister and I were having a conversation and not only were they both being judgy towards me… excuse me I made mistakes and I learned my lesson, even if they were really shitty mistakes. My mother always urges me to stop looking for partners. But like isn’t that what guys do? I came out as transgender male 3 years ago and they still have a hard time accepting. But I think this is more to control me as she is toxic. Had I not looked I wouldn’t have found my exes or the dates I also had. I’m annoyed because I literally feel like she doesn’t want me to live my life. Or maybe she’s jealous of me still. Idk. #anger #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder

And then, we will all Keep Doing This VITAL, easy, short practice.

One of the many things I learned from the “Resilience Skills” University online course I took that I keep teaching you about here only in this group is that Resilience Needs Mindfulness.

And, 1 of the first things to learn about Mindfulness is how to practice conscious breathing and why.

Mindfulness conscious breathing exercise to practice daily 3 or 4 times—
In/Out: This is the first practice on Conscious Breathing:

breathe in (a good, deep inhale), and say or think “I know that I am breathing in”,
breathe out (a longer, full exhale), and say or think “I know that I am breathing out”

After a while of practicing this, you can shorten the cue words to saying or thinking simply “In” on the Inhale, and “Out” on the Exhale.

“When we continue to practice like this, something wonderful happens—-we stop the thinking.
This is already a miracle happening because when we think too much, we are not truly ourselves. But this way, our mind and our body becomes aligned/in the same place; instead of our body here but our mind is elsewhere— in the past or in the future.

If we practice breathing in and out with some concentration, we attain what is called the oneness of body and mind.
The body and mind are unified and you begin to be there truly yourself.

When you are not really there, you cannot see things clearly and deeply. You miss everything, everything seems to you not clear, vague.”

Running to the future or going back to the past- you miss life, that is only here in the present moment.

Breathing in and out consciously is how to get back to the present moment.

What you are looking for —joy, inner peace, freedom …is all in the present moment.

If you feel agitated and not solid, vulnerable, breakable — then you practice this in order to get solid again:

Practice sitting in a stable position and practice breathing in and out. Saying “breathing in, I see myself as a mountain, breathing out I feel solid.

From time to time, a very strong emotion overwhelms us. That emotion could be anger or despair or fear. And when we are overwhelmed by a strong emotion we feel very vulnerable, like we may die, But we are more than our emotions. We are more solid than we think. And therefore, practicing being solid like a mountain is very helpful.

Source: Thich Nhat Hahn’s The Art of Mindful Living (read by the great man himself on YouTube — I am always so calmed by his voice even.)

#Mindfulness #MentalHealth #Selfcare #Depression #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PersistentDepressiveDisorder #MoodDisorders #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #Agoraphobia #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Trauma #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #AnorexiaNervosa #Addiction #EatingDisorders #Selfharm #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Grief #Suicide #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #CerebralPalsy #Cancer #MultipleSclerosis #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ADHD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #PanicAttacks #PanicAttack #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #MyCondition #Relationships #FamilyAndFriends #RareDisease #RheumatoidArthritis #Arthritis #CrohnsDisease #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #Caregiving #SocialAnxiety

Had a big therapy session last Friday. Think my therapist must have known something about how my body would react. She said "show yourself some love this week". Today I have crashed and burned. There is a monster inside me who hates me and wants me dead and it is a chimera made up of my Mum, my Dad and the most demanding, critical, self-hating parts of myself. What the hell do I do with this. The last thing I want to do is show myself love. It's all I can do to sit and stare blankly into space. (The pic isn't me, but it gets as close as possible to how I feel right now).

#Depression #DissociationDisorders #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #Abuse