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Step One: Get an ADHD diagnosis... #AdultADHD #ADHD

Tomorrow, March 24th 2021 at 11 a.m., I begin my assessment with a psychiatrist to determine whether or not I have attention deficit disorder (ADHD is what it's called these days).

I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder at 6 years old in the 90s, but my mother never followed up with this (and many other things I was diagnosed with). I spent years knowing that something was wrong but not being able to understand or articulate well what it was that was wrong with me.

Now I'm 31 years old. I found some old papers, given to me by accident actually, and all of this information fell in my lap that now I couldn't ignore. I decided to take the leap: go for medication. I knew that I've been struggling to function. I knew that I felt like I was heading towards "burn out" and I knew that this wasn't my first time coming to this.

I have been educating myself about ADHD since I knew this day was coming and trying to piece together whether I thought I truly have this condition or something else...and I truly believe that I am going down the right path.

So now.... I have the opportunity to actually deal with this. I know that this is the first step of many.... to be fair, I don't know if ADHD medication will help me, but I can imagine that it wouldn't hurt to try - especially after all this time. Just start somewhere here....

I just hope to be validated and heard. I have been given a heads up to kind of know what to expect from a psychiatrist. From what I read about her, I just hope that she will be able to at least show me compassion by hearing me out.

I have been invalidated for most of my life. I have been told over and over to "get myself together" to find that I literally didn't have the strength or the "know-how" to do it on my own. Now, with the notes from a pediatric neurologist.... I know that I wasn't off to recognise that my challenges are real and they were diagnosed even though I didn't know it was typed out on paper.

Here's to taking my first step. #medications #ADHD #Adderall #AttentiondeficithyperactivityDisorder #Neurodiversity #NeurodevelopmentalDisorders #neuromotordisorder #neurodiverse #AttentiondeficitDisorder

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Searching for Answers

I am a 32 year old Black woman who is searching for answers...

Longing to understand myself better, longing to help others understand me better, and longing to connect with people who are willing to love and support exactly where I am.

In my searching, I have found out so much.

I learned recently that (long story behind this) that I was diagnosed at 6 years old with a Neuromotor Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, and possible mild Encephalopathy (brain damage) along with posturing issues (left hemiparetic posturing).

I also had seizures and constant tension headaches (tension headaches are still a problem)... all confirmed by a pediatric neurologist but not followed up with by my Mother.

As I've grown older, I also was tested by my psychologist I've been seeing for about 3 years now and he also suspects Autism, PTSD, and an Attachment disorder (he is an educational Psychologist but not a clinical psychologist so he couldn't like diagnose me right there on the spot).

Before this I was diagnosed after a break down with Schizoaffective Disorder (I was 20-21 when diagnosed?), but I've seen others who understand all of this better (counselors, etc) and they felt that I was misdiagnosed so I started to believe that I probably was....

Now, at 32 years old arriving to the understanding that my mother (my dad wasn't in the scene alot so I don't know what he knows) knew for a long time I had been diagnosed at such a young age has left a lot of questions, grief, and I admit - anger. I also feel like I need to note that I am an ACOA (Adult child of Alcoholics) which plays a huge part in why I was never addressed well by my parents with all the challenges I faced for years.

Whew.... that can be jarring to write out.

Since learning about all of this, I'm finally seeing a psychiatrist to start medication for ADD.

I'm hoping this psychiatrist will be able to address the neurological side. My psychologist has been pretty good in helping me with the behavioral aspects....but I feel like meds are the missing piece.

I've struggled for years to make sense of everything I was struggling with. Some have been patient and others just haven't because they have just found me too complicated to deal with - which is fine. I know that I also have been struggling with even understanding a lot of the time how to function well given all the things that I'm struggling with.

I'm sharing this here because I know many of you out there reading this understand the complexity and challenges of trying to get to the bottom of what's happening with you.

#neuromotordisorder #neurodivergent #ADHD #Autism #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #ACOA #Trauma #Encephalopathy #PTSD #GettingHelp