Obsessive Compulsive and Related Disorder

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Full moon effects

Does anyone else feel like their going into an episode every time the full moon approaches? I mean full on mood swings, mind going blank, brief periods of depression, irritability, sadness just all out of whack... #Bipolar2 #fullmoon #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveAndRelatedDisorder #calmdown #relax #werewolf

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Lost

Yesterday was a wild day. I hadn't slept for 24-hours and was zooming like a madman the whole time. I went to my check-up so my psychiatrist could see how the meds were working for my akathisia and in the process I was diagnosed with bipolar 2. I had been having a manic episode the last three days. I always had a nagging feeling that I was bipolar, but until yesterday there was no affirmation. I was told that I was going to be getting medically retired from the military after 15 years of service due to something that I've managed most of that time. So now I'm lost, I know I'll get disability for OCD and Bipolar disorder, but it's still stressing me out. All of my concerns about the future have been rushed. I may have a year before I get pushed out to the real world and I have no idea how to handle it. My entire adult life has been in the military and I'm panicking trying to figure out how I'll survive. It's tough #Bipolar2Disorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveAndRelatedDisorder #Anxiety

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Statistics

I have a what could be considered unhealthy hate of statistics. It's not that I hate statistics, I actually enjoy them. I appreciate that we as a species want to understand or world and those like us. There will be days where all I read are statistics, but I hate them. I hate that regardless of what you do your entire existence can be summed up as an average. That really pisses me off. It's even worse because it's unavoidable. Death looms over is all just waiting to be the final statistic that takes us off the census. It's really really really frustrating. #Showerthoughts #PureO #ObsessiveCompulsiveAndRelatedDisorder #Anxiety

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Frustration

I finally found something that worked for me. I nearly had no intrusive thoughts, my fixation on suicide had been squashed, sadly the meds also caused akithisia. A severe side effect that causes your body to have to move uncontrollably. It's so frustrating that I've met normalcy, but then got side swiped by suffering. Now I get to go through withdrawal and have to take propranolol and lorazepam to get back to pre-meds normalcy. Ugh, I just want things to be normal. #SSRI #ObsessiveCompulsiveAndRelatedDisorder #Insomnia

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Observation

I had an interesting observation while I was driving to work this morning. Usually on my drive my mind automatically starts thinking about suicide, but today I almost felt like I had forced myself to. I thought, "you haven't thought about killing yourself today, you should do that." I don't know why, but it was an obvious intrusive thought. It's like I didn't feel normal if I didn't think about ending my life. I've been taking a cocktail of meds for months now. Started with Zoloft, then Lexipro, weaned off of that and am now on Luvox as well. I wonder if, maybe the drugs are working or maybe I've just become more conscientious? I don't know, but it's definitely an interesting concept. #ObsessiveCompulsiveAndRelatedDisorder #SuicidalIdeation

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Social Media, Millennials, and Mental Health

I have been on a constant journey of reasoning and understanding for a long while, and I think I had some breakthroughs recently. There has been a significant uptick in mental health issues with the millennial generation, and has continued with Gen Z. I had been trying to figure out why so many millennials (myself included) suffer from mental disorders and came to some conclusions. While mental health and suicide were no longer taboo, we took it to another level. We used phrases like "I'm just a little OCD", "kill me now", and "I might as well die" in common language. We had bands selling slitting wrists and committing suicide by the dozen, and we continuously saturated ourselves with toxic chatrooms and online gaming. While I don't think those factors are solely responsible, I definitely think it's within reason that they have played a role. There have been recent studies conducted that have shown a significant increase in mental disorders in Gen Z due to Tik Tok. There have even been studies showing that children who have created a Tik Tok persona have actually developed acute mental disorders due to the exposure.
All of this came about because my Facebook feed tends to be flooded with the normalization of mental health disorders. While I don't doubt others struggle with mental disorders, it definitely has played a role in my willingness to seek treatment. When everyone has a disorder, I feel like I'm not that bad off. I'm also acutely aware (people have made me aware) that having constant suicidal thoughts is not normal, so there is that.
I would very much like to see studies conducted on the correlation of exposure to negative (emotional) media and mental health. I think it would be a pretty interesting read.

TL;DR Just_A_Traveler thinks too much. #ObsessiveCompulsiveAndRelatedDisorder #MentalHealth #SuicidalThoughts

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Realizations

I've been coming to terms with my mind recently and have been conscientious of my intrusive thoughts. It's difficult to come to terms with the fact that I do indeed struggle. I've been doing me for so long that I had to have a rude awakening in order to wake up to it. Now, after being in AA, under high risk watch, and talking to a psychiatrist I've been pounded down. I'm about to start my third medication. Antidepressants don't work, so the doc has decided it's time to try an OCD specific one. It's a lot to take in. Taking personal inventory is hard. #ObsessiveCompulsiveAndRelatedDisorder #Depression #SuicidalIdeation

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OCD & emotional contamination

hey hey i was wondering if anyone else experiences strictly emotional contamination as part of OCD? to be clear, this is very different from contamination. for me, emotional contamination manifests like this: i dont like my mother walking into my room or touching me or my friends because i dont want her to contaminate it with her being & her personality & the negative memories i have of her. even if she puts her clothes in the laundry with mine i break down and take all my clothes out and put them outside while it snows for about an hour to get rid of her presence on my clothes.

does anyone else do something like this? # #ContaminationOCD #ObsessiveCompulsiveAndRelatedDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

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Medication Reduction Leading to More Depressive Symptoms

I’ve had some medication adjustments done for my anti-depressants about a month ago and it’s making things really tough for me. I can feel more symptoms of my depression and anxiety breaking through, and I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed at work over the past week. I’ve often felt the need to take half a day off when I’m in my office and I’ve had trouble focusing on my tasks. I’ve been really restless, irritable and unmotivated, and it is completely unlike how I usually am. It’s pretty prominent that even my colleague has noticed it. I don’t really know how to describe it because it doesn’t feel like just work fatigue, it’s just plain horrible.

I’ve already made an appointment to see my doctor earlier to discuss this and make changes to my dosage but it’s going to take awhile and I feel so overwhelmed by the fact that it’s going to be like this for the next couple of weeks. It’s Monday tomorrow where I am, and I’m so anxious about it and worried that I’ll end up taking the day off and having it affect my job (I take time off to see my medical team quite often so it’s worrying). I hate the feeling and I hate that I feel so helpless until things get better. I feel like I’m going to have a breakdown soon and I’ve no idea how to make things better.

#Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety #PsychiatricMedication #PanicAttack #AnxietyAttack #ClinicalDepression #Mentalillnessfeelslike #Antidepressant #ObsessiveCompulsiveAndRelatedDisorder #EatingDisorders

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