Pedophobia

Hello everyone. I hope you all are well. I feel formal right now so I'm Allister, but you can call me Al. And I'm looking for advice. I have been diagnosed ADHD, Depression, extremely bad Social Anxiety, Insomnia and Pedophobia. (Insomnia is a newer diagnosis)

So, I want to ask for any advice to help. Any tips on how to help like with my extremely short attention span, or anxiety, or any healthy coping skills, or even how to deal past traumatic experiences? (Of course, advice for anything is very appreciated.)

But I just want some advice (I said that a lot. I'm sorry). If anyone could share their experiences as well, that would be great. (I'm not forcing.)

#ADHD #Depression #Pedophobia #Phobia #Insomnia #SocialAnxiety #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth

So, I've been feeling less empathy lately, and I've been thinking it's because of my depression. (Which can be really bad at times) I will be checking next time I can get in with a Therapist. But I called this positivity. Am I going to be positive? Oh of course!

My mom is always telling me I need to celebrate the little things more. So, I'm going to list a few things I've been able to do to help my mental health. accomplishments I want to share. Some are small, but I would like to encourage people to celebrate even the smallest things that have gone well. (Feel free to share your own accomplishments)

Well for starts, I would like to say, my phobia doesn't affect me as much as before. I've started to slowly trying to get better.

Second thing (The last) is yesterday, we had to talk to others in class. As someone who's Social Anxiety affects their every day-to-day life, this was awful news to me. But guess what? I did it. I talked to three people. And I did okay if I do say so myself. (Update) I just did a lab with someone in science. We talked (Or I did) for a good 10 or so minuets. So that's exiting.

Well, I just wanted to share. If you read, thank you for reading. Well, I hope you have a great day/night.

#Depression #CheerMeOn #SocialAnxiety #Anxiety #Pedophobia #Phobia

People keep telling me to get over it. I don't control what I fear. I have a really bad fear of kids. Mainly under the age of 3. I don't know why I fear them. I'm always being told to get over it because "Kids are part of life" but it doesn't work like that. It takes time. Effort. I just wish I was given the time. Am I the only one who seems to be rushed to get over their phobia? #Pedophobia #phobias

Hi, my name is ANormalDeer. I'm here because I would like to learn more about other diagnosis's and learn about other peoples experiences and share my own. You can call me Allister or Al.

#MightyTogether #Depression #Anxiety #Pedophobia

#Pedophobia
today I watched separated siblings bond. decades apart in age their only commonality is a father, different mothers and different upbringings to say the least. watching this I realized how shallow my bonds to my own siblings are in comparison. my brother and I don’t share a fond family story, or commonly told history despite sharing the same house for our entire childhood. we lack the narrative that these separated but related sibs are sharing. I’m watching this bond formulate over stories about their common father even though all three have different mothers and from the outside it seems so much more deep and natural than anything I have ever felt for my own blood family. I’m so happy for their connection on the generous part of my heart. and the selfish part says why don’t I have those feelings for my own blood. is this confirmation that I am truly flawed? that family just is not something that I will be able to engage in? it both warms my heart with gladness for theincinnection and confirms my worst fears that all of that warmth is not something that I can bring myself to feel.

#Pedophobia
Finding yourself in a cold sweat as the others in your group coo over a baby at a restaurant. Finding a way to inch your chair as far back as possible so my boyfriend blocks the baby from my view so it’s possible to eat my dinner. Ordering more drinks than normal and getting comments about tiring one in tonight to maintain that expected veneer of calm. I’m reasonably certain they all think im drinking fir other reasons. And knowing that no matter how you try and explain you are onky judged and found wanting. The lonliness is hard.

#Pedophobia
the first thing everyone tries to get you to belive in is the small steps. start small and eventually it will get better. but it does not feel better. the only change is your ability to control your reaction. not your genuine revulsion, not the feeling of nauseous panic, not the complete rejection of this helpless sucking void of need that small children are. just your ability to hide all those things. heroine addicts don’t stop craving just because they are “recovering” so why is it that the expectation is that you feel better when you act better? it’s just that. it’s an ACT. it’s about making the people around you feel better not actually what you feel as a completely functional adult that would rather be fatally bitten by a Kimono Dragon and die of sepsis than come with in touching distance of your sleeping infant.

#Pedophobia
It feels like you are branded. like everyone can see your lies when you try to mouth the socially acceptable nonsense people expect from their non-parental friends. even in a close group it’s this feeling of other, like there are miles between you and the person next to you. like you don’t deserve to belong to a family because families have babies.

#Pedophobia
Everyone thinks they can just talk you out of it if the present the logical reasons you should not feel the way you feel. I feel shitty for not feeling the feelings I think I should feel, that every one else thinks I should feel, and for feeling the way I should not feel. “Should?” that is a more dangerous word than any other in the English languidge. It means burden and expectation and confirmation to something created for you not by you. I should feel fine. I should let go of the panic and fear and revulsion I feel about little kids. I should see them as “miracles” not sucking holes of need that will consume everything and everyone in their path. I should feel maternal not nauseated when I look at a baby. Why is it fine to be afraid of spiders or snakes but show that infants make you panic is just insane. Silly, girl there is obviously so much wrong with you, you should just give up. Should...a Dangerous word.