Pedophobia

Slight vent////

As I said above, I don't know how I got so lucky. In what way might you ask? Well, to put it simply, my relationship.

My current relationship it's the longest I've been in. a year next month. And I don't know how they still want to be with me.

I have ADHD, Depression, Anxiety (social), Gender dysphoria, Pedophobia, Abandonment issues (Anxious attachment style), and trust issues which can make relationships hard for me. I get easily attached to people, with that lingering feeling that I'm going to be abandoned. Not very fun.

I've had people (mainly friends) just randomly stop talking to me with no reason. And I mean like, most of my friends ever.

My first relationship was pretty toxic, but I stayed with that person because I felt reliant on them. My next relationship went pretty well until they broke up with me and decided then that everything was wrong with me.

So going into this relationship was slightly scary for me. But I am very, very glad I did. I would not change a single thing about my partner. They love me, for me. We are both aromantic which is nice because I don't feel forced to be romantic. We are both Lgbtq in some way which is also very nice.

We are long distance, very long distance, but they still find time to talk to me. We talk almost 6 hours a day when I'm at school. I know them, they know me, and we respect each other. We understand each other's problems and whenever I need reassurance or validation (which I see myself needing a lot of) I know I can reach out to them.

I feel pretty emotionally neglected by my male guardian, which I hate to admit as he tries so hard to make sure I'm healthy, but is just not very good at helping with my emotional problems and always tries to change the subject or say "Well I know exactly how you feel because ....." and I hate saying this but that doesn't help me at all? Is that okay? Or am I asking for to much?

But I know I can turn to my partner for any emotional validation I need. I've never felt that way with someone.

#Depression #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #SocialPhobia #Pedophobia #ADHD #abandonmentissues #trustissues #neglect #MentalHealth #MightyTogether #GenderDysphoria

Hello everyone, I posted a question yesterday and it seemed to do pretty well so I decided to ask another.

This time I will be asking about books (Who doesn't love a good book every now and then?)

What's your favorite book/book series? (Again, don't feel pressured to answer)

I'll start

I am a huge fan of the series Warriors (Warrior cats) and Wings of Fire as I can relate to some of the characters and in my opinion the books are actually well written.

#MightyTogether #Depression #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #SocialPhobia #MentalHealth #ADHD #Pedophobia #Paranoia #trustissues

Hello everyone. I hope you all are well. I feel formal right now so I'm Allister, but you can call me Al. And I'm looking for advice. I have been diagnosed ADHD, Depression, extremely bad Social Anxiety, and Pedophobia.

So, I want to ask for any advice to help. Any tips on how to help like with my extremely short attention span, or anxiety, or any healthy coping skills, or even how to deal past traumatic experiences? (Of course, advice for anything is very appreciated.)

But I just want some advice (I said that a lot. I'm sorry). If anyone could share their experiences as well, that would be great. (I'm not forcing.)

#ADHD #Depression #Pedophobia #Phobia #Insomnia #SocialAnxiety #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth

People keep telling me to get over it. I don't control what I fear. I have a really bad fear of kids. Mainly under the age of 3. I don't know why I fear them. I'm always being told to get over it because "Kids are part of life" but it doesn't work like that. It takes time. Effort. I just wish I was given the time. Am I the only one who seems to be rushed to get over their phobia? #Pedophobia #phobias

Hi, my name is ANormalDeer. I'm here because I would like to learn more about other diagnosis's and learn about other peoples experiences and share my own. You can call me Allister or Al.

#MightyTogether #Depression #Anxiety #Pedophobia #abandonmentissues

#Pedophobia
today I watched separated siblings bond. decades apart in age their only commonality is a father, different mothers and different upbringings to say the least. watching this I realized how shallow my bonds to my own siblings are in comparison. my brother and I don’t share a fond family story, or commonly told history despite sharing the same house for our entire childhood. we lack the narrative that these separated but related sibs are sharing. I’m watching this bond formulate over stories about their common father even though all three have different mothers and from the outside it seems so much more deep and natural than anything I have ever felt for my own blood family. I’m so happy for their connection on the generous part of my heart. and the selfish part says why don’t I have those feelings for my own blood. is this confirmation that I am truly flawed? that family just is not something that I will be able to engage in? it both warms my heart with gladness for theincinnection and confirms my worst fears that all of that warmth is not something that I can bring myself to feel.

#Pedophobia
Finding yourself in a cold sweat as the others in your group coo over a baby at a restaurant. Finding a way to inch your chair as far back as possible so my boyfriend blocks the baby from my view so it’s possible to eat my dinner. Ordering more drinks than normal and getting comments about tiring one in tonight to maintain that expected veneer of calm. I’m reasonably certain they all think im drinking fir other reasons. And knowing that no matter how you try and explain you are onky judged and found wanting. The lonliness is hard.

#Pedophobia
the first thing everyone tries to get you to belive in is the small steps. start small and eventually it will get better. but it does not feel better. the only change is your ability to control your reaction. not your genuine revulsion, not the feeling of nauseous panic, not the complete rejection of this helpless sucking void of need that small children are. just your ability to hide all those things. heroine addicts don’t stop craving just because they are “recovering” so why is it that the expectation is that you feel better when you act better? it’s just that. it’s an ACT. it’s about making the people around you feel better not actually what you feel as a completely functional adult that would rather be fatally bitten by a Kimono Dragon and die of sepsis than come with in touching distance of your sleeping infant.

#Pedophobia
It feels like you are branded. like everyone can see your lies when you try to mouth the socially acceptable nonsense people expect from their non-parental friends. even in a close group it’s this feeling of other, like there are miles between you and the person next to you. like you don’t deserve to belong to a family because families have babies.

#Pedophobia
Everyone thinks they can just talk you out of it if the present the logical reasons you should not feel the way you feel. I feel shitty for not feeling the feelings I think I should feel, that every one else thinks I should feel, and for feeling the way I should not feel. “Should?” that is a more dangerous word than any other in the English languidge. It means burden and expectation and confirmation to something created for you not by you. I should feel fine. I should let go of the panic and fear and revulsion I feel about little kids. I should see them as “miracles” not sucking holes of need that will consume everything and everyone in their path. I should feel maternal not nauseated when I look at a baby. Why is it fine to be afraid of spiders or snakes but show that infants make you panic is just insane. Silly, girl there is obviously so much wrong with you, you should just give up. Should...a Dangerous word.